batgirl, that girl, and the eyeshadow

CHEEP CHEEP

2010-05-25T19:36:00.001-07:00

Tweet of the day- from Heidi Montag of course:

" I have never felt sexier, happier, or more amazing in my own skin. I truly look the way I have always dreamed, I love America and freedom!"

Hooray for FREEDOM!!

It's always a fashion show- it's Jersey!

2010-05-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am the only person under the age of 37 who watches the Real Housewives franchises. The New Jersey Housewives started on Monday and I forced Brett to watch it with me- the first episode was a little less dramatic than most of the Jersey episodes from last season and about halfway through this episode Brett informed our dog that "it's just like a boring episode of the Sopranos."

At the end of the episode, after they showed the 2 minute preview of the season, Brett corrected himself and told the dog "it's JUST like an episode of the Sopranos!" Now THAT'S a ringing endorsement. It's going to be a good one.

Sweet Nov...May!

2010-05-05T17:27:00.000-07:00

Now, this is just a rumor but who saw this coming? Oh, if you can't tell (cause I couldn't right away) it's Charlize and Keanu Reeves!

The rest is almost written...

2010-04-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

So Alli and I watched The Hills premiere at the same time last night, and I have to say, I was horrified/depressed/amused/bored. They did an awesome job of not showing Heidi 10.0's face until she got home (while she was packing they only showed the back of her head or her hair falling forward) and when she got home they made a point of showing old family photos. I have my differences with that girl but now that I've seen what she's become, it just makes me sad to remember--she used to be cute and fun and vapid in an endearing kind of way. And now she's just sad and plastic. And when we finally saw her face even though I've seen it I will wanted to throw up in my mouth. And her poor mother's reaction was just heartbreaking. I mean what happened to her? Did fame screw her up? Money? Spencer? The need for more attention? Augh. It was so awkward.

Oh and Kristen is so on drugs, and Lo finally made the credits. Go team!

An open letter to...Jesse James

2010-04-28T15:12:00.001-07:00

Dear Jesse James,

Hey, you do realize that you're like dunzo now, right? Yeah? OK, just checking.

Peace out forever!
alison.

Oh, Courtney.

2010-04-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

I think back to the days when I hearted Courtney Love and now she's just such a mess. Not even a hott mess, just a regular one. Now apparently she went on Howard Stern's show claiming that she used to have sex with Gavin Rossdale while he's been with Gwen and that Gwen knew about it. Now, I'm not sure who to Really? Really? here: Courtney for running her mouth and making up sh**, OR god forbid it were true Gavin for being the biggest d-bag in the world (next to Jesse James, of course) cause who would cheat on Gwen Stefani? ESPECIALLY with Courtney Love, of all people. So instead I'm just going to issue my new favorite saying: Good luck with that.

I still miss Lauren.

2010-04-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

So I didn't watch the last season of The Hills, and it was subsequently canceled, thus believing I have made my point I decided that I can safely go ahead and watch the last season. Or attempt to watch it, anyway. I mean the previews where Heidi's poor mother has to deal with her frozen-faced daughter who has basketballs for breasts make it look too good to pass up. So to prep, I watched the last episode of the season 5. Let me catch you up on what apparently happened this season:

First of all I saw Lo once and Stephanie not at all. I did get to see Stacey the Bartender who sadly did not use my fav catchphrase of hers, "Good Luck With That." I did get to see her act like she and Kristen go waaaay back which I'm going to go ahead and highly doubt. I also got to see Audrina's hat make a cameo and watch her have yet another "Really this time I'm done with you" conversation with Justin, in which she informs him he's going to grow to be a lonely old man. This, shockingly, gets Justin to think. In the beginning of the episode he attempts to solidify his relationship with Kristin, who brutally rebuffys him then tells Stacey she just can't commit and maybe it's because she fears getting divorced just like her parents. Babycrier, you don't see me going around saying I fear commitment cause I might die like my mom eventually! Sheesh. Get a better excuse then your parents, sisterfriend. If we all didn't commit cause we were afraid of divorce, I'd have way more options on the market to not commit to, moving on.

So then we got to "Taylor's Engagement Party." Who the F is Taylor? Sleazy T, my friends, the original Edward Norton look-a-like! Only now he apparently is engaged so we have to call him by his real name. At the party Jayde of course pressures Brody to move in with her (it would appear over the course of the season they broke up and got back together). The next time we see Brody he informs Frankie and Slea---I mean Taylor that he is now dunzo again with Jayde. Frankie and T then proceed to try and remember the order of girlfriends before Jayde ("It was Cora then Jayde." "No, it was Olivia then Cora then Jayde." "No, wait there was..." You get the idea). Brody's response? To reveal he may still have feelings for Kristen...

...who ends the show by going back on what she previously said to Justin who comes back to make a bid for her love again. And she falls for it! She falls for his assurance that it will work this time because she has His Word. Please! We all know how far the word of Justin Bobby goes!

Oh and then Spencer says that Heidi kidnapped his sperm then by the end of the episode decides he's cool with having babies. So basically the episode started with everything one way then ended with it another. So we're all caught up! Let the end begin!

WTF

2010-04-23T18:44:00.001-07:00

Was this a dare or are we trying to appear "cool" at Coachella?

WTF?

2010-04-14T20:16:00.000-07:00

I think I'm gonna start doing "WTF" posts with pictures that I cannot describe with mere words. Consider my last post on Heidi WTF numero uno!

This hurts my heart a little...

2010-04-13T20:34:00.001-07:00

Oh, Ava!

2010-03-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

Last night on Kell on Earth, Kelly Cutrone and her sassy cute daughter Ava were chilling together when Kelly's mom called and told the girls she was on her way to Wal-Mart. Naturally since Kelly and Ava are awesome they chastised Grandma for this. After the call, Ava announced, "I can't believe mom is going to Wal-Mart...the enemy of Target."

I love kids.

Why do I care when I don't even watch anymore?

2010-03-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

OK, are you ready? You have to be able to concentrate because there are many layers here. Right, so, recently Heidi landed a small role in an upcoming Adam Sandler/Nicole Kidman film. Normally Spencer is her manager but apparently she has fired him and instead hired her psychic, who will now be making all her career decisions. Spencer claimed he had plans of his own anyway: taking a break from filming The Hills to join the fight on cyberterrorism. According to Fox News, he told People mag that "upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges. My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation's security." Oooo, not so fast, Fox News! We should have known it was too bad to be true when it was such a well-worded quote. So what's the truth? The truth, folks, is that Spencer is taking a break from The Hills because, ah, he was told to do so. Apparently the aspiring Cyber Terrorism Superhero got so irate at a producer for the show that he informed her he should kill her for asking him to do something he apparently didn't want to do. So, in review: Spencer is lying about fighting terrorism to cover up that he's actually in anger management and his wife is taking career advice from a psychic. Did we get all of that?

Oh yes, one more thing: per the psychic, they are no longer to be called Speidi but by their actual names. Which I believe are DoucheMonster and PlasticLady.

the Globes at the Oscars

2010-03-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Here's an Oscar dress that didn't get enough attention and may I say, "Oh my!" Where did those gals come from? She looks smokin'.

And then there was one

2010-03-10T09:19:00.000-08:00

Corey Haim died of what appears to be (sigh) an accidental drug overdose. Of course that's what he died of! Oh Corey. You deserved better then to go out the way we figured you would. He was 38 and best known for the overlooked show The 2 Coreys which included an intervention on Haim by the other Corey, Todd Bridges, and Pauly Shore. It was actually a really weird show, the first season was sitcom-y and the second took a bit of a dark turn. I liked it anyway. And let's face it, I have awesome taste.

Peace out, Corey. The world will not be nearly as cool with only one of you around.

Micro-blogging on the Oscars.

2010-03-07T16:19:00.001-08:00

Batgirl and That Girl watching the Oscars together- updating as necessary sans pictures:

- Kathryn Bigelow (Male Gigolo)- total Mother of the Bride (MOB) dress and she needs to invest in Spanx

- Charlize Theron- Charplease that dress is awful

-George Clooney is verging on Trump hair.

- Jennifer Lopez's ass is so big it needs its own tent- BLOG IT! (Brett)

- Heath Ledger isn't going to present this year- thanks for pointing that out, E! Batgirl was pretty sure they were going to do a Futurama thing and just have his head.

- "If fashion were porn, this dress would be the money shot!" Gaby Sidibe (Precious) on her dress

- We are pretty sure that Kathy Ireland is selling tents- she is really highlighting the benefits of the wonderful tent that reaches all the way down the red carpet- fantastic!

- (On the Oscar's salute to horror films) Alison: Twilight is NOT a horror film! Kate: I'm horrified that it's popular! Brett: BLOG IT!

No idea how this will work

2010-03-05T18:54:00.000-08:00

Apparently there's going to be a Smurfs movie. And it's got itself a star. None other than...Neil Patrick Harris!

Bleak Hole (get it?)

2010-03-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

I was intrigued to read online that Hole is getting back together. Of course as a tortured Catholic high school girl I was all about Hole and Courtney Love. I never got to see them play live, though I was supposed to when they toured with Marilyn Manson. Shockingly the tour broke up by the time it would have come to Minneapolis. Who could have foreseen that! Anyway when I read this news my first thought was what kind of voodoo did she perform on the former members to get them to agree to that. The answer is...none of them are actually in on the reunion! It's JUST HER and some other random dudes she probably picked up on the emo street corner. It's just her and her new solo album which apparently is so rockin' that it needs to carry that Hole label. Eric Erlandson, the only other member besides Love who was in every line-up of the band prior to this, is insisting that she just can't slap Hole's name on it as he owns some of the domain. Love, of course, is insisting that she can. And someting about Melissa auf du Mar being really confused, but nobody cares about her.

Maybe it's just me, but I am of the correct opinioin that it DOES NOT COUNT as a reunion unless it's like 80% of the original band. Seriously, one original member? Even if that original member is so larger then life and f'ed up that one would almost count them as several people, still no. I'm not falling for it! Doesn't count as Hole. The end.

Just thought this was cool

2010-02-26T12:21:00.001-08:00

I read an article about an artist named Mike Stilkey who paints on piles of books.

Maybe this is what I should do with the piles growing around my book shelf...

I would gladly go to Kell

2010-02-24T16:33:00.000-08:00

So, last nite on Kell on Earth, the office deadbeats finally got the boot, leaving Andrew the Goth Gay assistant to hire someone while Kelly was in London reuniting with Baby Daddy. Andrew thinks he's found the perfect person...then Stephanie decides to randomly check out Twitter and finds out that the perfect new hire was Tweeting about the entire thing! Mentioning she's joining the cast! Needless to say, her job offer was revoked. Seriously, how dumb are you? Oh I was laughing. It almost topped last week when one minute Kell was chewing out an intern and the next she was talking to his mom in Northern Ireland saying what a good job he was doing while he sat next to her looking embarassed that his boss was talking to his mom.

P.S. Kell never liked Jay, BTW. She "couldn't stand his overbite and his accent, they drove me crazy." She was equally unimpressed when her daugther Ava who was 7 at the time found on the interent that his real name isn't Jay. Way more savvy then me at 7. Oh, Cutrones, you own a part of my heart.

My heart skips a beat...

2010-02-24T16:29:00.000-08:00

Oh, I swooned when I saw these. Apparently the pair ran into each other at an Elle event in London. Don't you just love it?! Now, squint your eyes, pretend it's a boiler room...or Liberty High's hallowed halls...sigh. Or something.

Can't Wait!

2010-02-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Vent

2010-02-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to post about Project Runway for-e-ver. This season is definitely an improvement over last, contestant wise anyway. Last season was a bore. My only real complaint so far is that the challenges haven't been as, let's, see...fun. I realize not EVERY challenge can be something like design a dress out of copper wire and chicken feathers or whatnot, but still. Also, I can't stand Mila. Augh! I hate her! This week she was all, oh, last week none of the designers seemed happy for me that I came in the top 3. Know why, Mila? Cause your dress SUUUCKED. The minute I saw it I was so psyched for the judges to tear into her and use phrases like "walking Macy's bag" or "you took the stars from Chicken and Stars Soup a little too far" (it was a Campbell's challenge, OK?) and they COMPLETELY let me down! Every once in awhile it's like, I'm sorry, are we looking at the same dress? Even Mick knew it blew! Thank god she was in the bottom 3 this week. Young Biff in Back to the Future said it best: Girlfriend needs to make like a tree and get outta here.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Alexis. She has an alien face. A serious case of bug eyes. I'm all for unique beatuy but only if you have a unique personality to save it, and she has bug eyes and is a biotch. And yet the designers keep picking her! Augh! OK apparently I have more problems with this show then I thought.

Weird Couple Alert!

2010-02-15T18:08:00.000-08:00

I first heard of this pairing a few weeks ago and I searched for pictures, but couldn't find any. Now that I have,however, I'm not sure I'm glad I did.

By the way, how's that album goin?

2010-02-15T06:53:00.000-08:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I hate to give attention to Spencer and Heidi but they just keep puttin' themselves out there for target practice. Like when Heidi revealed that she's going to pose for Playboy again (don't worry, this time she'll take off all of her clothes!) to "show off" her "new assets." I imagine the money she makes will help fund another trip to the doctor, since she also mentions that she wants another breast enlargement: "I couldn't get them the size I wanted because they couldn't fit." I'm sorry, but what does that even mean? Couldn't fit...what? Her body? The operating room? A decent world? And why would they, ah, fit this time around? Not to be outdone in soundbite, husband Spencer's response to her assets: "My miracle I live with? I live in a miracle." Miracle my ass, her breasts can't even fit! Sheesh. P.S. repeating a word twice like that only seves to either show that a) you're trying to convince us of what you said, or b) you just learned a new word and want to show off. Miracle, that's a real vocab additon, Spence! Don't hurt yourself!

F Yeah Lost

2010-02-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

Alison go here. It's got some pretty funny stuff.

Mag covers: Thumbs way up, thumbs beyond down

2010-02-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

OK, I haven't gotten my March Vogue yet, but I was elated to find out today from the intranet that the cover lady is...Tina Fey! THAT is going to kick some ass. Shortly thereafter I discovered another cover for the French mag Purple. Now, normally, as we know, if there's two things I heart it's France and Lilo. But this time...well, as we say in France, no mas. (That's Spanish for no more.)

A PhD in Fun!

2010-02-12T16:02:00.000-08:00

After 124 careers, Barbie has decided it's finally time to get down with computers. Meet Computer Engineer Barbie! Apparently this was the first time people voted to decide her next career and they hope it'll break down male stereotypes in the computer world. What I'd like to know is, what do those repeated numbers on her screen mean? (Maybe she hung out in a hatch for the Dharma group?)

Not that I will see either of them, but...

2010-02-07T20:03:00.001-08:00

I can't help but feel a bit of smug satisfaction that Avator was finally, finally knocked out of the top spot by none other than... Dear John. See, tear jerkers always win in the end!!

Swoonworthy, now with a message

2010-01-31T20:04:00.000-08:00

I had the good fortune on Friday night to finally see Mason Jennings perform and, let's face it, the man is just extremely good looking. But he's also talented, of course. I about peed my skinny jeans when he opened with a cover of "Atlantic City" by Bruce Springsteen. And yes, I cried, mainly because he pulled a one-two punch and played "The Field" and "Pittsburgh" right after each other and each on their make me tear up so together, total devastation. If you too could use a good emotional moment, then by all means watch this video. I don't know if there's a place to vote for Official War Anthems but this is certainly my pick. That having been said, break out a tissue. Unless songs don't make you cry. But if this one doesn't at least stir a little something in you, then good luck with your dry black heart.

Why Tuesday, February 2, 2010 is extremely important:

2010-01-31T19:49:00.000-08:00

I believe I have made my point.

Truer words were never spoken.

2010-01-30T21:09:00.001-08:00

"Are you telling me Lady Gaga and Beyonce joined forces? They should fight crime together." -Mick after I put "Telephone" on the You Tube.

How do I reference this with milkshake?

2010-01-29T16:59:00.001-08:00

Stumped

2010-01-27T11:10:00.001-08:00

I found this on Bust's website and fell in love. This is the kind of thing I would love as an engagement ring. I know, I know, I can be (wait for it...)...a little bit sappy.

AND they endorse Cute Overload!

2010-01-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

A friend of ours told Mick about this website, Sleep Talkin' Man. It's run by a woman married to a "mild-mannered English husband" who says some funny ass stuff in his sleep. I was cackling, anyway. If Mick informed me in his sleep that he wants to be a cowboy instead of a panda cause pandas are boring and stupid I know I'd be telling everybody in the free world too.

Time is on his side!

2010-01-24T18:22:00.000-08:00

So in my Elle mag this month they did a small write-up on the Colin Firth and Julianne Moore movie A Single Man as it's by designer Tom Ford, and in the article they had a picture of an actor in it named Nicholas Hoult. I apparently didn't read the article very closely because while reading Vogue tonite, Anna Wintour mentions the movie in her editor letter and Hoult and that he was in About A Boy with Hugh Grant. Vaguely remembering his photo in Elle I thought, no way he was the little kid in that movie. Then I get to the actual article and realize, sure enough, that's him! I guess I hadn't realized it's been 8 years since then, and akward little boy grew into There's A Little Drool On My Shirt Now. ('89 birthdate so he's legal, OK?)

Rank, pun intended.

2010-01-24T13:26:00.000-08:00

So Vh1 re-did the Shocking Moments in Music history countdown and I have to say, I do not understand these people. Sure, it's important to update, I get that. But what I find disturbing is whoever decides the ranking. Because apparently they think that the whole Fergie pees her pants onstage thing is more important then the death of Left Eye, because it ranked higher. Bathroom accident beats fatal car accident? Really, Vh1? Really?

Proof that time on your hands can be effective

2010-01-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

For those of us Losties, this is worth carving ten minutes out of your schedule for: all the footage leading up to and the actual crash...in order. That means some split screens and definite "I don't remember that!" moments. It's pretty cool to see it all together and even though I've watched it all before I still get all nerved up. Is it February 2 yet?

I wish I could wear this to work

2010-01-20T16:40:00.000-08:00

I'm having major outfit envy. It's a Louis Vuitton party so I assume most of the outfit is LV.

Fun bags

2010-01-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

I'm very tired (and I have season two of Veronica Mars to start) so I wasn't really up for posting BUT then this little gem came along and I couldn't not share. You're welcome.

I would like to thank...

2010-01-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

I don't have much to say about the Globes this year. There were a few good speeches (Robert Downey), predictable winners (except for Hangover!), and pretty dresses. I pretty much spent the night online with the show on in the background. Of course I'm catching up today and getting full length shots of all the dresses and close ups of all the makeup. Close ups my friends...

Apparently lady doesn't like razors and she even wears short skirts. Very interesting...

The Ceranation

2010-01-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

I can't even think of 10 things to operate on besides maybe each finger.

2010-01-15T07:50:00.000-08:00

I noticed the new People mag cover yesterday with a formerly familiar face on the cover. Seems that Heidi's admitting she'd addicted to plastic surgery. How addicted? She had--wait for it--TEN procedures in one day! I bet Spencer loved taking care of her during that healing process. I mean no wonder they haven't been out annoying the world! Girl's been bandaged up and recovering! Though how she afforded these many procedures is beyond me since she's also admitted that she spent her life savings on her debut album, which she compares to--wait for it--Thriller. Now, I could regale you with more of her deep thoughts on this album, but I could also post the link where you can listen to one full song and snippets. I think it's supposed to make me want to dance but it's hard to hit the floor when you're resisting the urge to throw up in your mouth. My personal favorite is "Superficial." It really puts a tear in your eye. And by that I mean makes you want to tear it out.

Models!

2010-01-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

If these are the top models, I'd hate to see the bottom models. -Mick regarding season one of ANTM.

Rumor mill!

2010-01-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

Rumor #1: Whitney and Brody seen getting close at a club!
Rumor #2: Lauren possibly appearing on the next season of The City!

OK, that's it for now. I think I'm supposed to be job hunting so peace out.

Real mature, Pitt-Jolies!

2010-01-12T10:03:00.000-08:00

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are planning to skip the Golden Globes because...I know, you think it's going to be something deep, right? Like they can't go cause they're going on an adoption expedition or taking their kids to the Dali Lama. Well, you'd be wrong. They're not going because he wasn't nominated for Inglorious Basterds. Sure, the movie itself was nominated, and the actor who played the evil Nazi (well, I mean, all nazis are evil but he's especially evil) as well, but who cares! Oh, Brad, you know there's no I in Team, but I guess you're going with the logic that there is a "me" in there. At least do something worthy with your time skipped and visit a leper colony or something.

I'm deep, man

2010-01-11T17:32:00.000-08:00

It was Miley! I've decided I like the outfit but definitely with different shoes and a different bra (though hers was age appropriate). It reminds me of this look that I loved:

Now you'll be caught up on my life!

2010-01-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

First of all, let me say that I was finally forced to join whatever century this is when my hand-me-down MP3 player (it was my dad's) finally bit it (think Walkman without a tape deck size) and I invested in an IPod shuffle for the gym. It's adorably tiny. However not only was my former portable music player old school, I usually rocked flat headphones with it and the ones that come with the shuffle are the earbuds. I spent roughly the first third of my 35 minute treadmill time (trust me, more walking then jogging) trying to jam the things in my ears so they would stay. I'm sure the man next to me was very impressed. (I spent the remaining two thirds fidgeting with my pants and underwear. Of all the useful things I learned in Catholic school, not giving a flying f*** what people think of me is the most useful and comes in handy when you're de-wedgieing yourself every 3 minutes. And pulling my pants up since I also got my dad's flat ass.) Unfortunately the remote for the shuffle is on the headphones, though probably no one would be surprised if Problem Underwear Girl became Ear Rubber Bands Girl.

Second of all, this is the song I'm praying comes on the radio lately while I'm driving. It's off the solo effort from the lead singer of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, Alec Ounsworth. Since I'm a sucker for a good repeated phrase, it's right up my alley. See if you can figure out what it is! That will keep you busy while I'm shoving things in my ears.

Is that part of her five point plan?

2010-01-10T18:56:00.000-08:00

Well, word around the campfire is that Amy Winehouse is thinking about getting re-married to her ex Blake. What a great idea! That in no way sounds completely stupid! (Insert sarcasm there.)

Do I like this outfit?

2010-01-10T18:55:00.001-08:00

I cannot decide if I love this or hate this. I don't want to specify who this is because it may sway votes. For some reason I think I love it but with different shoes...the depth of my thoughts are deep people.

Yes we can!

2010-01-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

Alison- check Vogue for me- is this look in??

2010-01-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

Oh, Rachel Zoe. Self-confessed "not a lady who lunches." Now I get why she says "I die" all the time. Any minute now, it could be true!

She kissed a girl and this time, I LIKED IT!

2010-01-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

Katy Perry. It seemed to me that she was trying a little too hard, you know? I never liked I Kissed a Girl because a) Jill Sobule already took that path and 2) it seemed to be provocative for the sole purpose of getting radio play.

But then, she had a couple of ticks in "pro" column- I) Engaged to Russell Brand- she can't be all bad and b) her cat's name is Kitty Purry.

We are at a hung jury here, folks. Or, rather, we were. I was working out this morning and ellipticalling to the 6:00am MTV video countdown (3. Empire State of Mind (Jay and Alicia Keys), 2. Tik Tok (Ke$ha) and 1. Hard (Rhianna)). MTV does their commercials at off points so they kept it rocking from Rhianna right in to... Katy Perry Unplugged. Here is where her team won- exhibit a- those awesome things in her hair and more importantly, exhibit e- she redid I Kissed a Girl and, shockingly, I liked it! I hope my former self don't mind it.

Riddle me this!

2010-01-06T14:57:00.000-08:00

Hey, do you know what shows up on my phone if, say, Alli calls me? It says her number and "Alli." What about Kate? It has her number and "Kate." Why? Because we're good friends! I know them well! I don't need it say their last name! I don't look at the phone and think, hmm, Alli, Alli, I think I know her...The only time I add last names to contacts is if there's multiples, and even then it's usually just a last initial. So can someone please tell me why, WHY, when characters look at their cells on shows and movies is there a first and last name? Especially when we know who it is too? Like when Veronica calls Wallace it comes up on his phone as "Veronica Mars." WE KNOW WHO SHE IS. HE KNOWS WHO SHE IS. They're BFFS! She's the title character for christ sake! Or when Jack calls Kate it comes up as "Jack Shepard." THEY WERE STUCK ON AN ISLAND TOGETHER! Of course she knows who it is! There's only one Jack on the show! We know you know them and who they are! We don't need a reminder! Sheesh!

OK. Sorry about that. Clearly it's been building up. Go back to your lives.

Normally I could care less about her, but...

2010-01-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

...upgrade!

What won't they think of next

2010-01-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

I saw a commercial for Taco Bell advertising the "Drive-Thru Diet." Apparently some woman lost weight eating at Taco Bell. Who knew? It probably wouldn't work for those of us who turn to Taco Bell at 1 AM after leaving the bar. Though there is a vegetarian option so maybe if I switch to Diet Coke and Vodka or Lite Beer pre-post-bar trip there's hope for me. Except I hate Diet Coke and Lite Beer. It's cool, hope's not for everyone!

Ummm...OK: The bizarre death edition.

2010-01-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

So on my MSN homepage I always scroll down to check the entertainment area and today saw that the "Heiress engaged to Tila Tequila died." I could not decide which of the words in this particular statement was the most baffling. According to the detailed article, Casey Johnson was the socialite daughter of someone from the New York Jets and an heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, and once turned down Paris Hilton's offer to co-star on The Simple Life. And yet apparently did NOT turn down the chance to date Tila Tequila. So, clearly decision making was a strong point. Cause of death is not known and foul play not suspected, though I imagine Johnson and/or Johnson may not be as thrilled about the whole Tila Tequila thing. She, of course, twittered to everyone to "Pray 4 my Wifey." Hmm...we'll just leave it at that.

Gaga oh la la

2010-01-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

This is Lady Gaga's new hair color as of New Year's Eve and apparently it's made a singer or "Estonian pop princess" name Kerli very angry. She had yellow hair first and she wants us all to know...even though we don't know who she is.

Good question?

2010-01-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

Does the VMA's stand for the Veronica Mars Awards? -Mick.

Still wishing to be in the trenches...

2010-01-03T10:57:00.000-08:00

OK, not so much a fan of the one in the middle, and the one on the end is OK--what I wanted to show you was the pink one and I couldn't find a pic of it on its own. It's Burberry, of course. It was in the new issue of Vogue. It's specifically a Burberry Prorsum petal-pink duchesse satin trench and I think I would get a little drool on it. There's this awesome site, Art of the Trench, that shows people rocking their Burberry Trench coats. Me, I have to settle for rocking my Old Navy trench that I got on sale seeing as how I'm about $1200 away from being able to afford the actual thing. Add it to the life goals, along with rocking a matching Burberry scarf. Which means I'm actually about $1500 away. Believe me I would way rather be contemplating selling organs on the black market to pay off a credit card bill that's due to Burberry rather then my mechanic because yes, my car window is stuck open. Maybe I can find some Burberry cardboard for the window...

If you could invite any person to dinner...

2009-12-31T18:04:00.000-08:00

The 600th post and I could not think of anything I'd rather post about for this occasion. I was looking through my current US weekly today and I found this glorious picture. I looked for a better picture online but apparently no one else has one...

The Reverend Strikes Again!

2009-12-30T08:46:00.001-08:00

When we were in college and our school put on The Laramie Project, the fax machines were one day suddenly gifted with fliers reminding us that "God hates fags" and just in case we were planning on forgetting, the Reverend Fred Phelps would be sending some dumbasses to protest and remind us when the play opened (don't worry, they sent about 10 and the campus/town trumped them big time). Well, apparently the Reverend is still in the protesting business and has set his sights on...Lady Gaga! Maybe it's because it sounds so darn catchy ("God hates Gaga" is, after all, alliteration) or maybe he realized rather than focus on gay people as a whole he should target specific people. If you want to read his press release (or perhaps fax it to people!) which inclues the phrase "whore's forehead" and simaltaneously makes me want to laugh, throw up, and and throw things, here it is! I wonder if I could manage to do all three at once? Hmmm...

Stars make everything look easy

2009-12-29T10:30:00.000-08:00

I heart Katy Perry and Russell Brand as a couple. How can you not? I mean look at this! It's adorable! Only they can look good sledding together! US mag would totally make this a Stars: They're Just Like Us! They go sledding! Please. Normal people look like bundled up idiots. I bet they don't even fall off at the end of the ride like everybody else.

Haven't we been here before?

2009-12-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

Sienna Miller and Jude Law, together again. Or should I say again, again, again...sheesh! Just get married already. Then you can be like the Wright-Penns and threaten to divorce again, again, again...

Everybody loses!

2009-12-29T09:30:00.000-08:00

In order to perform at London's Wireless Festival, Eminem has graciously agreed to leave out his homophobic lyrics in some of his songs. I have two points to make about this:

1. According to a spokesperson for the festival, "We have a condition that he does not use lyrics that encourage or incite hatred against gay people. He is free to express his views on gay people, as long as he stays off the violence and hatred." Oh, OK, so, he can say whatever he wants about gay people, as long as it's not mean. So he's not actually free to express his views. Don't get me wrong, huge hats off to them for keeping it hatred free...Except it would appear they're only doing it to keep protesters at bay. Hey, London! People are still going to protest! If you don't like someone you're not going to say, oh, it's cool, they're not going to do the thing I dislike about them just this one time so it's all good! So, in conclusion: he's free to say what he wants except he's not, and it's all in the name of keeping things protest-free rather than actually being anti-hate. Good work, London's Wireless Festival.

2. As for YOU, Eminem, maybe you could just not ever say homophobic things again rather then selling out for a gig. Do I agree with what you say about gay people? Hell no. I think nothing of you. But if possible I think slightly less that you can't even back up what you say all in the name of money. You're just going to go back to doing it anyway after the festival. So you're a homophobic asshole who won't even back yourself up about being a homophobic asshole. Nice work.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

Good times, good times.

Ronald springs from your head like Athena from the cranium of Zeus

2009-12-22T21:15:00.001-08:00

I'm not quite sure how I happend upon this humorous top 10 list, but I thought it was hilarious. Also, I just bought a Happy Meal last week (to get an Avatar toy (you talk to him and he lights up)). I give you The Top Ten Saddest Happy Meal Toys. Enjoy.

What the Flagnog!

2009-12-22T21:05:00.000-08:00

Vivienne Westwood is pairing with....LEE Jeans!
According to WWD, "the new line, aptly dubbed The Vivienne Westwood Anglomania and Lee collection, will bring Westwood's signature punky-meets-couture-inspired approach to style. The pieces in the collection will range from the ubiquitous skinny jean to "bondage jeans" and "microshorts" (a term which, frankly, terrifies us). In addition to dark washes, the denim will feature one design with a quirkly lace print. Alas, don't expect Lee's price points to extend into Westwood's line, which will run about $128-$320."

This seems like the oddest pairing to me. The title just rolls off the tongue, eh?

The obligatory sink-under-the-bathwater scene

2009-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

Did I black out the fact that Dakota Fanning was in this, or just not know? I think everybody was being so snarky about Kristen Stewart's mullet it may have gotten overlooked, but Ms. Fanning looks a far cry from the homecoming queen crown she won in real life!:

Umm...OK: The holiday PSA

2009-12-20T14:18:00.000-08:00

Well, here's a holiday PSA you don't see every year! There's one for Christmas but the Hanukkah version is more entertaining. All I have to say is if my boyfriend got this "gift" for me I'd be a bit perturbed. I mean it's cool to be thoughtful but maybe you could just remind me to go to the dentist instead.

There's a little something...

2009-12-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

How does no one tell a gal who's going to be photographed a trillion times that there is powder all over her face?

Those crazy Brits!

2009-12-13T08:57:00.000-08:00

I couldn't find anything on TV so I put on BBC America which was showing Britain's Missing Top Model, which for a second I thought must be about how their top model had been kidnapped, then realize they probably meant they were missing having a top model. I wasn't really paying attention, just doing stuff around the apartment, but thought I heard one of them say something about their photo shoot with a prosthetic leg and I thought that seems like a pretty insensitive thing to model a shoot after. So finally I sit down to eat breakfast and start watching the elimination and realize, it's a disabled model competition. A few of the girls are in wheelchairs, one is deaf, and one just appeared to be wearing a cast which last time I checked didn't make you disabled, just a person who broke their arm. I found the whole thing fairly odd. It started me wondering if the "Missing" in the title refers to their disability, and I can't decide how I feel about that. I can only assume that somewhere Tyra Banks is fuming she didn't think of it first.

A Climb ends in a tumble

2009-12-10T20:38:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well. Miss Miley Cyrus has been pulled out of the Grammy running for best song from a movie! Yes, "The Climb" from Hannah Montana's feature film has been replaced by none other than Miss Karen O's beautiful contribution of "All is Love" from the equally beautiful Where the Wild Things Are. The reason as to this brilliant turn of events has not yet surfaced, though the website I read suggested that maybe "The Climb" was not originally penned specificially for the movie, which is a part of the rules for the category. Either way, I think we all win here. I mean Karen O clearly is the actual winner. I mean not of the Grammy, not yet anways, she's got some competition from Bruce Springsteen. I'm just saying she wins in this particular sitch. Party in the U.S.A., indeed!

Clothes call

2009-12-10T20:36:00.000-08:00

I have recently gotten sucked into Veronica Mars and have since decided that my dream wardrobe from television would be hers combined with both Gilmore girls. And the body of Kate from Lost to most effectively rock it all. Dream TV haircut still forthcoming. Thank you.

What the what!

2009-12-08T21:47:00.000-08:00

Who is Jessica Simpson reportedly "smitten" with? None other than...

...Billy Corgan!
That's right! Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins!
Really? Really?

Talk about "crazy" in love!

2009-12-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Well, Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson have gotten back together again, again. I'm assuming he did so in hopes of not re-living last Christmas when he called her 158 times and marked each call with a nice razor blade cut on his hands or face (he never mentioned if she got the chance to actaully answer any of the calls or if any of the cuts made a fun snowflake shape so it looked like his face was snowing). I mean if that's not holiday joy, what is? And, we can only further assume that she was charmed back by his additional statement that he has "fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." Hey, Evan Rachel! Fun gift idea! Give him a sledgehammer for Christmas and see who wins! And by wins I mean loses. Santa and Mrs. Claus got nothin' on these two kooky lovebirds! And by birds I mean Good Luck With That.

Alex Ebert: Compare and Contrast!

2009-12-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

So, I'm totally obsessed with the song "Home" by the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, so naturally I told Kate to listen to it and now she loves it as well. She also did some Wikipediaing and uncovered that the brains behind this rather large collective is this guy from L.A. named Alex Ebert. Now, this is interesting because Alex Ebert happens to also be from the band Ima Robot who Traci and I used to love and would spend shows fretting over the fact that man appeared to be running on cocaine. This is further interesting because Alex Ebert used to look and sound like this (note the haircut with squares carved in the side):

Now he has apparently grown some hair, deepened his voice, and created a cult of the happiest musicians in the world:

In either instance he appears to be having fun. It was confusing for me though, I'm not going to lie to you. And quite frankly I can't decide if I prefer the new-wave hair or the Hey Let's Go See What Charlie Manson And The Crew Are Up To style.

Just in time for the holidays...

2009-12-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

...a Grand Re-Opening of the blog!
Did you miss us?

Dwangela Gothic

2009-12-05T18:56:00.001-08:00

Rainn Wilson has a little blog of his own.

'Tis the Season

2009-12-04T20:51:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday That Girl!!

2009-12-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

It's Kate's birthday! Kate and I have been friends for a decade now and she remains fun and fabulous through it all! So here's to That Girl, a loyal friend and an excellent Thanksgiving dinner-maker. Happy birthday!

Wish lists with Mick

2009-12-02T12:05:00.000-08:00

Alison: How bad will it look if I ask for a book called There once lived a woman who tried to kill her neighbor's baby?
Mick: I think you ask for these things just to try to cause trouble. How much could it cost? Buy it yourself and ask for something more appropriate.

I went with this advice and left it off the list, though did ask for Dead Weather and Dead Man's Bones CD's and a book about famous suicides. And Marc Jacobs perfume, since a girl who loves death themed things still wants to smell fabulous and own perfume bottles with plastic-y flower tops. P.S. If you want to get me something for Christmas or my birthday, I still want the book. The author is Russian, OK?

8 minutes of my life that I will not get back

2009-10-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

I made the mistake of turning to the last 8 minutes of the Hills. Batgirl and I have debated whether or not we would watch the new season. She said no, I said I would probably check it out. I haven't been able to watch TV lately and the DVR is filling up. I have not DVRed the new season and saw it was on, so, why not let the DVR fill up further and watch the Hills "live" on TV?

There are about 5 reasons I could have come up with if I had given myself a chance to think, but alas. She Pratt is thinner than before (I think her big confession about her previous battle with bulimia was just a way to bring in the anorexia). There was a brief shining Lo moment but Kristin and JustinBobby washed that taste out of my mouth right quick. Remember how JB is irritating and full of stale sound bites? SO IS KRISTIN! So- them, together, on a date made me wish I had four hands to accommodate driving pencils through my eyes are ears at the same time. Will I be back? Eh. Maybe. I would like to say no but I know myself better than that.

PS- the 5 reasons are:

- Kristin

- JB

- Heidi

- Spencer

- Not Lauren

So is she my father?

2009-09-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

Why yes, that is Kristen Wiig wearing a Darth Vader dress at the Emmy's. Love her!

Another round of the game

2009-09-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hey, I saw a commercial today for a movie about a dude who marries some woman and the kid is convinced he's evil. It's called The Stepfather. I loved that movie!...

...when it was called The Uninvited.

Gettin back in the game

2009-09-23T09:52:00.001-07:00

Oh I've been horrid about posting. No bueno. I saw The September Issue the other weekend and loved it. While at said movie I saw a couple of interesting previews. One is for this new movie Precious which is brought to you by Oprah and Tyler Perry, which means to get to the inspirational message of it you have to sit through hopelessly depressing build up. I've worked with enough women and kids who have gone through such things that I do not care to watch it. However this is my second time seeing said preview and only upon second viewing did I realize the dumpy looking social worker is Mariah Carey.

The other preview was for Chris Rock's new comedy-documentary Good Hair. I've also worked with enough black girls to know that they do some shiz to their hair. Using stuff that smells toxic. Now, I went to see September Issue in an independent theather located in the suburb where I work which is seemingly populated by uppity old high class white people who have enough money to blow on everything but tipping properly, and they were all laughing at the trailer, so you know it's going to be interesting.

The Eyeshadow likes this

2009-09-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

Oh Facebook!

A kick when she's down

2009-09-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Apparently Jessica Simpson's dog was taken right in front of her by a wild coyote on Monday night. She's offering a reward for anyone that can help give some information or help find the dog. Now, I'm not a fan of Jessica Simpson (I curse the heavens anytime she's in one of my magazines (which is all the time)) but did she really need something else to go wrong for her? I hope she finds her.

Kanye gives a Chris Brown apology

2009-09-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

LAH-AME! I get that he's probably sorry, but is he sorry 'cause he got booed at the awards multiple times OR is he actually sorry he ruined someone's night? Apparently the new trend in apologies is to make them on national television and not to the actual person who was wronged.

Amen!

2009-09-14T21:49:00.001-07:00

"Um, no." -Nicky Hilton in response to being asked if she's happy sis Paris and dbag Doug are back together.

Touche Vma's

2009-09-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

Ah, VMA's, I've spent one night every year for at least 12 years with you. It hasn't always been smooth sailing (Remember Vegas? Yea I wish I didn't either.) Tonight, I had planned on sending you the Dear John letter that every award show dreads. I sadly feel too old (why is 26 too old for Mtv?) to partake in your silliness, BUT then you pulled me back in with an MJ tribute. (A dastardly plan you minx!) I caved and turned it on. The tribute was great:

Janet Jackson - MTV Shows

So I left the awards on in the background while I made dinner and read my beauty blogs promising myself that I would turn it once I was done BUT then Gaga came out and she was just undeniable:

Lady Gaga - New Music - More Music Videos

Then this happened:

MTV Shows

So now I was hooked. I thought to myself, "Oh, I'll just wait 'til B is done performing":

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

Then I went and got my laundry with every intention of watching Lost after folding and I walked in on Pink doing crazy acrobats. Singing upside down deserves an award in itself. Stinkin Mtv hasn't posted the video yet (but of course they've taken down the youtube ones already so I'll post it on a later date).

Fuck! Fine I'll watch the whole show ya jerk, but don't think that one lousy Hova performance satiated my need for some Hip Hop. Seriously, besides Kanye, there was only a whisper of it. I did like Russell Brand, but he was quite edited and non existent toward the end, but that was to be expected after last year's Jonas debacle. Next year I'll give you another chance but let's try for something a little less Twilight and various genres of Pop (not that I loathe either)and a little more variety (and Justin). But, in all seriousness, thanks for not totally making me hate myself for watching. It was a decent night.

Just for good measure I thought I'd add my best dressed:

Remember this guy?

2009-09-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

Mick: Hey, isn't that what your friend did?
Alison: Sylvia Plath?
Mick: Yeah!
(In response to a scene of a girl who died sticking her head in the oven in a movie.)

Mick: When I'm done here I'm going to go see Spring/Summer 08, it's a movie about the Sears Catalog.
(In response to me going to see The September Issue.)

Ruh roh Raggy...

2009-09-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

I just read that Nicole Ritchie is in the hospital giving birth to her second child (boy). Ah, I had no idea she was even preggers! Am I slipping?!

If You Give a Moose a Muffin...

2009-09-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am a huge fan of YouTube. I watch makeup videos or "tutorials" as they're called on the 'Tube almost everyday. Yesterday, while watching these tutorials, I saw a link to a video by a user called communitychannel entitled 'my precious', being a Lord of the Rings fan (and an owner of a cat named Gollum) I clicked it. Hilarity ensued:

Now, if you don't like or watch Lord of the Rings (ahem, batgirl) you may not get the actual references, but you may find the idea of the video hilarious. I do, but maybe it's because I quote things all the time and a lot of times people have no idea what I'm talking about.

Another reason to love her!

2009-09-06T14:52:00.000-07:00

Drew Barrymore is inviting people in Detroit to go rollerskating to celebrate Whip It coming out. You can bring your own skates or rent them for free. How cute is that?

From The City to The Hills and back again

2009-09-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. The City looks like it's going to get pretty good and thankfully no sign of Adam and Allie and Jay, though I will miss Erin. And please God let Olivia fall on her pretty little face. As for The Hills, augh. Look for Stacey the Bartender chilling with Kristin when she's making fun of Brody. I truly don't think I can stomach that show anymore...though I do enjoy the last several seconds of the preview although Heidi and I agreeing on something makes me uneasy.

The City - MTV Shows

The Hills - MTV Shows

Oh. My. Dad.

2009-09-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

I saw this Twitter account referenced on an acquaintance's Facebook page and decided to check it out because I liked the name. But wow- the name is only a little hint of a glimmer in to the brilliance of these tweets:

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Here is one I found from the past few weeks, with much less swearing than most of them (it almost makes me feel like my bro doesn't swear THAT much- he swears slightly less than this guy's dad). You gotta check this dude out.

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."9:35 AM Aug 20th from web

Eve Pinky

2009-09-02T20:05:00.001-07:00

Whitney Port created a lipstick color for the cosmetics brand Cargo and I wants it! (They also have one that Evangeline Lilly created that I'll probably get) It's cruelty free, all natural (there's even wildflower seeds in the box so you can plant it) and $2 dollars from every sale goes to charity. Have I convinced you, pocketbook, that I need this?

Love, love, love

2009-09-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

l would like to inform you about something very important, something near and dear to my heart:

Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks.
I knew it was coming what with it being September and all. And now, here it is! There is a Venti one right next to me! And it is DELICIOUS! In L.A. it was the only way to tell that it was fall. (You knew it was winter when it rained for a week and everyone drove like grandmothers and then they put up Christmas decorations even though there was no snow.) Now, I know I need to watch calories and money, so I'm going to try and tone it down a little this year (talls will be what I shoot for, I had to rock the venti today cause it's my day off and clearly the first one of the season had to be huge), but it's going to be tough. And it certainly does not help that there is a Starbucks in the mall where I work. Speaking of which I'm supposed to be looking for a job not blogging about life-altering hot beverages...Hmm, I wonder if Starbucks is hiring in their marketing department.

New York, New York

2009-09-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

Guess what started filming today!

Modelmania

2009-09-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

I'm liking the new show after Runway about the models. I think it's interesting to show the entire model picking process in more detail, especially since they're changing models everytime now. This week was interesting as one model, Fatma, has apparently developed a crush on her designer from the first 2 challenges, Logan. Now I cannot blame girlfriend as he is very pretty, but it was quite humorous to watch her talking about him to another model. She was beside herself because when she told him he liked the fabric he'd picked out he said he thought it would go well with her skin. So of course she's all blah blah blah, he was thinking of ME! Um, sweetie, he was thinking of how best to make HIS design look best on his model. Trust me, he didn't do it to pledge model allegiance to you.

Fast forward to model elimination, when all of the girls are stressing out because no one wants to be picked by Mitchell, who has been in the bottom 2 of the first 2 challenges. So guess who he picks? Why, Fatma of course! She makes her feelings on this clearly known when she is seen walking out on the runway screen clawing at the air. Of course Logan is the next person to go and handles it gracefully. Although he does pick the girl next to Fatma which Fatma of course takes as him being SO very flustered over losing her that he just picks whoever was nearest to her. She goes on and on. Not only has she lost her true love but her new designer can't sew! Oh, the humanity!

I have to say, Mitchell kinda sucks but I do feel for him a little because next challenge I imagine she is going to be quite difficult. Here's hoping he picks the most flattering fabric possible for her. I mean, it's all about her, right?