From the Hills to the hot rod

I think this is our 300th post so I thought it only appropriate to bust out some Hills action. I just got the season 2 DVDs last nite. So many memories of so many good times. Like when Heidi had a normal face pre-plastic surgery and would randomly score with a good statement (like comforting Lauren post-Jason break-up with the excellent point "You were the best thing about him"). And how Brody apparently feels the way into a woman's heart is to endlessly compliment her...and her eyes...and her smile...(Did he do that to the boys on Bromance?). And the origins of Spencer, who is a douche bag from Day 1. Like when he asks Audrina to accompany him to the Area Club where Heidi works, then tells Heidi we didn't come together, she saw us and tagged along! and Heidi's co-worker said "Sometimes girls are worse then guys." I used to believe girls were always worse--then Spencer came into my life. I also couldn't help but notice when Lauren asks why girls compare to boys to accessories after Jen Bunny and Heidi called Brody arm candy--anybody else remember on Laguna Beach when Lauren said boys were like handbags? Thank god there are parts of my brain dedicated to remembering such key details.


We also got Hot Rod which is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, and features Sissy Spacek. I love Sissy Spacek big time--how can you not love a woman who plays a teenage girl on the run/killing spree (see Badlands), then a teenage girl with mind powers/the ultimate anti-prom movie (see Carrie), and now that she's older she does whatever the f she wants and does it well (see In the Bedroom and Blast from the Past) (I had a thing for Brendan Fraiser, ok?). The first time Mick and I watched Hot Rod I busted out the chorus to this gem from the 80's, much to his surpise.

Frosted Flake

Kate got me the first season of The Hills for my 25th birthday which of course I am now watching, and I have to ask myself...did I ever like Heidi? Brent Bolthouse has just informed her he hates drama. Oh, but if he had a crystal ball...
I had forgotten her stunning fashion school interview. And how when people are attempting to address her when she's excited about something she ignores them and bounces around like a four year old. And when she calls Lauren to tell her she got her dream job she doesn't realize how completely sarcastic Lauren is and rightly so (she gets a lunch hour! O.M.G., I don't even get one of those!). I could go on and on. I could film a running commentary!

Eh. I'll just eat cake instead.

A day off leads to multiple posts

I will be the first to admit that I can have a very simple sense of humor. I will laugh and laugh at things from the couch as Mick sits in a chair and gives me his best "Where did it all go wrong with you?" look. That having been said, I love David Letterman. I used to watch every night when Jawa and I lived at the lake cabin, and last year when I had to go bed early for work I would listen to it on the radio (it never came in reception wise on my tiny TV). I watched it last night after having not seen it forever, and learned the fun fact that back in the day, Jesus Christ used to rock a bracelet that said "What would I do?"

Now, back to the beginning of the post and my simple sense of humor--my absolute favorite part of the show back in the day, and I haven't seen them do this for awhile, was a segment called "Will it float?" The premise is simple, yet genius: Dave says, "And now it's time to play Will it float?" and then Paul and the guys plays the theme song. Dave asks the announcer Alan what the item of the night is, and Alan responds. Dave usually asks some questions, like what is the item packaged in? then asks what they're playing for, and Alan responds with some sort of sweet prize which of course no one actually wins. Then Dave and Paul discuss if they think it will float, and the curtain is pulled back to reveal a large tank of water, the 2 Will it float? girls bedecking it, Hula Girl, and Grinder Girl. Then they would put the item in the water, we would wait to see what happens, and the results would flash on the screen. How can this not be completely awesome? Thanks to the magic of YouTube I was able to revisit some of these feats of wonder. If you, too, find joy in the simple and scientific, watch the following to answer the burning question as related to coal and a glass brick--Will they float?

Empire Records quandry

Did anybody else ever wonder why in the middle of the scene where she's calming down Cory after it's revealed that she does speed after it's revealed that Gina did Rex Manning on top of the copy machine, Deb suddenly goes to the bathroom?

Just askin'.

R.I.P. Jess and Rory

Is anything sadder then the fateful last meeting of Jess and Rory in Philadelphia? How were we to know the actors would break up in real life, thusly robbing us of a Jess and Rory triumphant reunion? In my heart, they are together, somewhere. Probably on the East Coast. And she has a really great haircut...yeah, that sounds about right.

Buckets, or boxes?

OK, so, did anybody else watch The Tom Green Show on MTV? Actually that's misleading. Did anybody else ever SEE The Tom Green Show? I saw like one episode, and somehow managed to catch that one episode twice. Every once in awhile, like tonite at work, random parts of it pop into my head. The first is when he started yelling about how he found out where babies come from and then proceeded to run out of a cave clutching armfuls of plastic baby dolls yelling, "I like to THROW them!" and then, of course, proceeding to throw them. Specifically at cars. I think one of them knocked a guy's hood ornament off.

The other was this really weird Man On The Street kind of thing, I can't remember the entire set-up, but I do recall him asking people, repeatedly, "Buckets or boxes?" And then he'd say "Will it stick?" and try to glue something to a 2 by 4 and then yell, "It stuck!" So at work, all night, in my head, I could hear Tom Green yelling, "Buckets or boxes? Buckets or boxes? Will it stick? IT STUCK!" And every once in awhile an "I like to THROW them!" would sneak in there. It was actually really hard not to walk around asking people, "Buckets or boxes?" And then I think he had a globe and would point out places on it to a manhole cover telling it where he was going to send it to. I tried to find either skit on Utube but lost patience really fast.

Andy Milonakis had some real Tom Green potential. The only skits I remember from that is his own Man On The Street where he said, "Know what I'm sayin?" to random people over and over again. Sometimes I pull that and it really annoys people. The other one, and this is truly a classic, I did manage to find here for you viewing pleasure:

Nostalgia: the Britney edition

OK, so, I went to Starbucks in the free half hour between Gilmore Girls (in which Logan is sooo smarmy and condescending to Jess who as always looks gorge, did I add I'm thinking of writing a book on the show using some good-old fashioned literary theory) and The Hills, which ended up taking longer then planned (and oh lord, when I first got there they had signs for the Christmas drinks up already and I was so freaked that the pumpkin latte was gone but it's still there hooray) so I decided to go vote right after (did you vote yet?) and come home to watch The Hills on-line then figured out that it would be on again tomorrow directly AFTER Gilmore Girls and THEN I realized that Crossroads was on Bravo.

Oh my gosh, Crossroads.
Do you remember that movie? Britney back in her golden days and I literally mean golden as in her hair? I totally rocked that movie in the theaters. Twice. I have no idea why. I forgot how ridiculous it is. So of course I'm totally rewatching it. Mick sat on the couch by me and we watched in silence for a few minutes before I finally said, "Don't ask. Just don't ask." He left shortly after. Girls, this is how you drive a man away if need be. I forgot how Britney ALWAYS saves the day (Briteny diagnoses the cracked radiator, Britney stops fights, Britney steps in to win the karoke contest, Britney nabs the keys to drive the car then cools down the hot driver dude when he has a hissy fit because his car is all he has left that hasn't been taken over by girls, Britney mediates peace between the warring nations in the middle east...you get the idea). And how when cute dude asks to hear one of her poems she agrees basically right away. Child please! Don't just go around giving it way for free! Here's the thing about the plot that just screams contrived: They go to L.A. so the pregnant Taryn Manning character can compete in a singing competition and WHO ends up doing all the singing?

In conclusion, this was Britney's first and last movie. I say it's time for her to make a cinematic comeback. In a horror film. Maybe I'll write it for her. We'll see.

PS Note that the first paragraph was a run-on, which I believe I had a request for...