Oh, Courtney.

I think back to the days when I hearted Courtney Love and now she's just such a mess. Not even a hott mess, just a regular one. Now apparently she went on Howard Stern's show claiming that she used to have sex with Gavin Rossdale while he's been with Gwen and that Gwen knew about it. Now, I'm not sure who to Really? Really? here: Courtney for running her mouth and making up sh**, OR god forbid it were true Gavin for being the biggest d-bag in the world (next to Jesse James, of course) cause who would cheat on Gwen Stefani? ESPECIALLY with Courtney Love, of all people. So instead I'm just going to issue my new favorite saying: Good luck with that.

Rank, pun intended.

So Vh1 re-did the Shocking Moments in Music history countdown and I have to say, I do not understand these people. Sure, it's important to update, I get that. But what I find disturbing is whoever decides the ranking. Because apparently they think that the whole Fergie pees her pants onstage thing is more important then the death of Left Eye, because it ranked higher. Bathroom accident beats fatal car accident? Really, Vh1? Really?

Is that part of her five point plan?

Well, word around the campfire is that Amy Winehouse is thinking about getting re-married to her ex Blake. What a great idea! That in no way sounds completely stupid! (Insert sarcasm there.)

Umm...OK: The holiday PSA

Well, here's a holiday PSA you don't see every year! There's one for Christmas but the Hanukkah version is more entertaining. All I have to say is if my boyfriend got this "gift" for me I'd be a bit perturbed. I mean it's cool to be thoughtful but maybe you could just remind me to go to the dentist instead.

What the what!

Who is Jessica Simpson reportedly "smitten" with? None other than...

...Billy Corgan!
That's right! Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins!
Really? Really?

Really? the Home Alone edition

A British tabloid is claiming that the sperm donor of Prince Michael the 2nd--you may know him as "Blanket"--is none other than...Macaulay Culkin.

Wow. Good luck with that one, British tabloid!

So many stars!

The new cast of Dancing with the Stars has been revealed. It includes such illustrious stars as Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Mya, Donny Osmund, and Kelly Osbourne. Hey there, ABC! Don't get crazy casting those stars! You're really outdone yourself here. Really.

Oh! Wait! I saved the best for last!...


...Aaron Carter.
Really? Really!

Fist bump: The meaningful glances of D-bags

Like all of you, I was mostly nauseous after hearing the amazing details of the Speidi interview in Playboy (side note- when is the last time Heidi has done ANYTHING without Spencer? 1996?). Clearly Heidi is delusional and confused about, well, a lot. Checking through Perez, I saw a link to the article and I wanted to see if maybe the full article would redeem Mrs. Pratt. Yeah, no. It didn't.

I read about 3 exchanges between Heidi and Spencer (what a great interviewer, really) and felt the familiar rise of bile in my throat. BUT WAIT- the best (worst) part- there are several times in the article that this happens:

Spencer: Heidi, you are so amazing and brainwashed by my flesh beard

Heidi: You are the best thing that has ever happened in my whole life ever including being born and purchasing my "upgrades."

[several fist bumps]

WHAT? Yes. Speidi or Playboy or whoever transcribed this piece of cutting-edge journalism felt the need to put in EVERY SINGLE "fist bump" the couple exchanges. First- fist bumps? Second- transcribed fist bumps? I really don't think it would take away from the mood or intentions of the article to leave out all of the [fist bump]s.

Really, Playboy? You gotta get those girls next door back. STAT.

Really? the tv show question edition

I have a question that has been bothering me for quite some time and I must now pose it...

Really, how many TV shows do their need to be that revolve around hospitals, cops, and law firms? Really? I mean, really?

Ok, I feel sort of better. But not really, really.


(This does not include Scrubs, per Mick's request.)

I guess E! online won't be linking to our site...

I know they are Speidi-free, and really, I would love to be as well, but I read an article a while back that I can't ignore.  Not sure if you saw this one, but Spencer and Heidi are serious New World Order converts and they are going to preach to the Christians because the Christians take Heidi VERY seriously and they know when Heidi means something they listen because they know it's a message.  

Really? I thought you told them all to vote for McCain- was that not a message? And that your music is good- where's the message there?  I really hope they are joking about this, or are doing it for press, because if they are not I am convinced it is not safe for society to have them roaming around freely.  

I guess they went on a show called Infowars (incidentally, Spencer is going to name his album this now) hosted by a conspiracy-theorist named Alex Jones (that sounds like such a fake name) and were gushing about how he was right about everything.  Before going on this guy's show they were researching, quote, "We've been nonstop researching the Internet...for information for at least a month all day every day."  Oh- OK.  I didn't know there was internet in the jungles of Costa Rica.  And I guess all the paparazzi shots they set up for themselves over the past few months were all just little breaks from their 24-hour-a-day researching.  

Other interesting info they revealed on this radio show- 

- Heidi hates birth control now, partially because "how most women are suicidal sometimes on it."  With these oratorical skills, Heidi is the next Eva Peron.  

- Lauren controls the media and has made the media turn against Speidi, because everyone used to love them and now they have been "Obama-sized".  

- Apparently we are all going to be implanted with micro-chips, but Heidi will preach to her Christians because it says in the bible that this is the mark of the Devil.  

- In one shining moment of sanity, Speidi questions their popularity, starting a statement with "how are we famous..." but unfortunately, it all goes downhill from there.  

I can't put my finger on it!

Really? There's something wrong with Esther? She looks perfectly normal to me! I mean, nothing about her face conveys that she is a freakish child of the underworld. She totally looks like a kid you'd love to baby-sit for, am I right? And in no way does it appear that the ribbon tied around her neck is cutting off the oxygen to her brain thus causing her eyes to bulge out of their dark exterior. No, Esther looks fine to me! Why this movie poster would say otherwise is on of the great cinematic histories of the world! Really!


Yeah, yeah. I'll probably go see it.

How many times has this happened to you?

I mean really.  It's the age old story of girl goes in for a few little star tattoos on her face and ends up with 56.  Happens to the best of us.  

Really?

Honestly! How many 20 something "famous" vaginas do we need to see before all of us get the point that in this modern day we all (especially the famous ones) need to stop taking nude photos or stop getting annoyed when the leak? (Rihanna is at the top and if you scroll down awhile Cassie is there too) (The site is a dirty site fyi)

Oy with the pigs already!

America:

1. I'm over the swine flu freak out and would like to only hear about it in newsworthy articles

2. Why are people still taking Speidi's pictures...on a beach...candidly posed...

Oh, Cassie!

Um...OK. And by that I mean, no.

Really? The Southpark edition.

My new fav place to get gossip is MSN's Wonderwall. It's where I learn things like LiLo dyed her hair back to red and got a new tattoo (though they did not tell me what!) and that K-Fed and Brit Brit are reportedly hooking up on her tour even though he's apparently dating a really tall volleyball player. I also found out two fairly odd things about Southpark:

1. Kanye saw the recent episode where they made fun of him and thought it was funny, but it hurt his feelings, but he knows he needs to take his ego down a notch: "I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE." (It's in caps from his blog, I'm too lazy to type it in uncaps.)

2. Trey Parker and Matt Stone were just given a signed photo of Saddam Hussein by the US Marines, who told them they made Hussein watch the South Park movie over and over again. Really? I mean, I'm not saying I was a fan of the dude, but that just seems...odd. Parker and Stone are "very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means." Um, what exactly does it mean?

Really?!?!?!

I turned on my tv today after I got home from work and it was on VH1 so I left it on and went about my business until I got bitch slapped by not one but two ridiculous previews for new shows.

Exhibit A: New York goes to work. Why are we still allowing this trashy woman into our homes? Kudos to her for getting paid to do nothing but be ridiculous though.



Exhibit B: Daisy of Love. Yet another trashy woman to set a horrible example for us ladies. A spin-off of Rock of Love was inevitable, but what is a daisy of love? Usually the titles make a little sense or are a play on words. Am I missing something?

US Weekly should pay me- the Hills edition

I know I've said it before, but usmagazine.com is really the place for gossip loving girls on the go.  Not that I am ever so busy that I just don't have time to read the frequent updaters (I miss Perez) but I waste so much time as it is that I find it refreshing when I go to the site to discover I have already read everything that has been posted.  

They usually get me with their headlines, and today was no different.  The one that caught my attention was "Heidi Montag on Lauren's Hills Departure- 'We Don't Need Her.'"  I thought here we go again, stirring up the dramz before the new season starts on MONDAY.  I click on it and it is actually a very nice (considering) article on how Heidi knows Lauren has wanted to leave for a while and they'll miss her, she's closing a chapter and "I'm sure she'll have fun and success."  She even draws attention to her and Spencer's penchant for attention when saying "She's gotta leave the dramas to the pros! I love The Hills and I definitely don't want to go anywhere anytime soon.  That's my home and I'm so grateful to be on it, so we'll see."  Awww.  That makes me wonder (just for a quick second) if the whole falling out was made up and they have been friends all along. Not likely.  

So I was feeling all warm and fuzzy and hopeful that the new season will start with a heartfelt reunion, but then I was brought back to reality by comments Fleshbeard made on a radio program trashing Lady Gaga.  He said if Lady Gaga was the pop princess then Heidi must be the pop queen.  Really? I will leave  you with his comments on his moneymaker- when asked to name five artists that Heidi is more talented than, he says "Madonna, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Beyonce an Christina Aguilera... I wouldn't even compare them to Heidi's level."  I'm with you Spencer, neither would I.  

Give this woman a break!

I was checking out US mag's website and I saw that Jaime Oliver welcomed another baby. Normally I wouldn't click on this, but her name is Petal Blossom Rainbow and I had to check that out. The article was normal- born at this time, sister to Honey and Poppy, but the picture that went with it! It looks like Jools Oliver had the baby at 3 this morning and there is already a pic of Jools, Jaime and Petal Blossom smiling goofily outside the hospital. Can this woman not have a minute to herself after giving birth to another little flower baby? She clearly had her hair and makeup done before she went out too. And I don't know too much about havin babies and the like, but is it normal to still look this pregnant? My theory was they were having twins and Jaime made them run out quick with the first one before the second one came.

Really? REALLY?!

I just watched Ciara's new video for Love, Sex, and Magic with Justin Timberlake. Now, I really like the song but the video left a bad taste in my mouth. It's very sexy (hello licking Justin's ear!) but I was wondering why Ciara had to be the sexed up one. I know in a lot of male videos the female is the epitome of sex and sexiness but I always brush that off as a male fantasy, but to have Ciara dressed up as a stripper throughout the whole video for her own song seems distasteful. Since when does love, sex, and magic equal females writhing around for a (hot) man? Justin is great but he just sits there drinking in the beautiful woman then pantomimes slapping her behind. Gross. But it is a fun song.