Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I've long been annoyed at Eminem for wasting his talent as a rapper on a) making homophobic remarks, b) whining endlessly about his ma, and c) always poking fun at celebs for reasons that make no sense. One of these celebs is Mariah Carey. Now, normally I can leave her rather than take her, but I do give her props for giving him a dig back by dressing up as him for her new video and taking some shots of her own. Let's just hope he doesn't retaliate by dressing up as her. No one needs to see that shiz!
Then she takes her mom to Perkins (I missed where it takes place but it's feeling a little mid-westerny) to let her know "We're keeping the baby." We, of course, meaning Mom gets to help. You can tell Mom wishes there was some parental act that could order Farrah to drop the baby off at the corner orphanage. And that she's so pleased to have conversations like when will we schedule your senior pictures? and Farrah informs her she doesn't plan on having a puffy face after birth. Good plan! Why don't more pregnant women take that frame of mind? Then going to high school gets too stressful so they decide she better drop out of that and take classes at the local community college. On-line, preferably, so she doesn't have to see people. Awesome.
MTV itself makes the program of course fun to look at by adding illustartions drawn on lined paper, like one of Farrah running away from the cheerleading squad. At least they aren't imposing emo pop punk on me as it goes along...oh wait.
At the baby shower she voices over how everyone is starting to get really excited about it (whatever you need to tell yourself, sweetie), and it reminds her how in a short time she's going to be a mom...then the next scene is her waking up and yelling "Mom! I think my water just broke!" Turns out dad's out of town and her big sis is sick so it's just Farrah and Mom having the baby. You can tell Mom is real thrilled. Especially when she starts crying after speaking to her husband, much to the annoyance of Farrah, who I actually kind of want to slap. Oh, MTV. Am I finally starting to outgrow you? Did she just apologize to everyone for having to look at her crotch during labor? Did she just say she's never held a baby before?
In the second half, of course, we see how she never gets to leave the house and her mom won't help her. Then in a bizarre turn of events Farrah decides she needs a car because she feels trapped in her own house, but her mom isn't really down. Eventually they go car shopping which somehow results in them fighting, during which her mother informs her that she's "Tired of her anti-Christ attitude." I'm not actually sure what the means but it ends in Farrah getting out of the car and calling her grandparents who take her car shopping instead.
It ends with Farrah talking about what she's learned, showing baby pics, yadda yadda yadda, then saying "Peace out." And me sort of feeling like I need a stiff drink. And maybe I need to stop saying Peace out as well.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
It's a strange thing when I celebrity dies. There are news flashes, remembrances, and all day marathons of their work. It's like a version of a wake or prayer service for a person you loved but didn't even know. It's a whole other type of loss. When Heath Ledger died, I couldn't watch his movies for a good six months and once I finally watched The Dark Knight, I truly had to fight back tears upon hearing his voice.
Today, though, I lost someone beyond just a famous person I enjoyed. I lost someone who has given me the soundtrack for quite a large part of my life. I had "We are the world" on vinyl, watched the making of "Thriller" every Halloween, and one year for Christmas all I wanted was "Bad" and spent the rest of vacation memorizing every lyric (much to the dismay of my family). I was just truly a fan. I never really cared about his antics or plastic face. I just wanted more music, more originality, more him (even when it wasn't that great).
And after all of that I've been slightly annoyed while being inundated with texts and Facebook status RIP's from random people. I don't want to gossip about it and I keep feeling like it's my loss, a personal loss. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but now I think I understand. I am coming to the age where I will start seeing people from my childhood pass on and Michael is my very first icon that I've lost. He is among one of the first musical voices I heard and definitely the first that swept me away.
I'm not sure what else to say and I'm not even sure if it's really sunken in yet. It's a sad day in music, but at least people are back to talking about his music once again. Maybe Will.i.Am put it best when he said, "...I wouldn't be surprised if the world stopped spinning tomorrow."
I'll leave you with my top MJ songs...
1. Dirty Diana
2. Smooth Criminal
3. Billie Jean
4. Rock with you
6. Black or White
7. Remember the time
8. They don't care about us
9. Ease on down the road (from The Wiz)
10. Human Nature
Alli: There is a place in LA that sells a bacon covered donut.
Alison: There's a heart attack waiting to happen.
Alli: What are you talking about? Fatty protein and deep fried sugar is the basis of a waist shrinking diet.
Alison: Maybe if you're Steph Pratt.
Alison: Too soon?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Now that summer is here finally, we all start changing certain things about our everyday. We wear lighter fabrics, brighter colors, etc. I myself change up my scents usually. I recently sampled on from Benefit but I'm wondering if I'm going to wrong direction. The UK's Burger Kings have come up with something a little out of the ordinary. A scent with a "subtle hint of flame-grilled beef." Meet: Flame!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
T.R. Knight is for sure leaving Grey's Anatomy. Sad but not a shocker.
Jon and Kate are making an important announcement. I already saw the commercial and I already set a reminder to watch the stupid show.
And this one. Why am I continually apalled at Spencer's behavior? I should just expect it.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Ugh, guh-ross! Kristen Stewart chopped off her lovely brown locks and went for a Joan Jett mop. When she pulls it back, it's not so odd, but who cuts their hair to have it pinned up all the time. I do not appreciate the mullet-ish look at all and even more I don't like that it's accompanied by very 'rocker-ish' ensembles. She's a pretty girl, why oh why would she do this. I guess she'll get Drew Barrymore points for the balls to try something weird.
Monday, June 15, 2009
When she and Bruce met, she was engaged to none other than Mrs. Pratt's boss, Brent Bolthouse! I never thought I would say this, but Bruce Willis rocks. I love that she was engaged to Brent and left him for Bruce. I am just having trouble reconciling the fact that Brent Bolthouse exists outside of my television. That one's going to take awhile.
Side note- my brother has long claimed "Bruce" to be the number one manliest name ever. I am not sure if I agree with that 100% but its stock is rising!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Have you seen ads for this Friction Block stick? Supposedly you put it on the spots of your feet that would get ravaged by a new pair of strappy sandals or ankle breaking heels and it doesn't hurt. Goes on clear, forms a protective barrier. I read some reviews on-line and it was a mixed bag. Personally, I think part of being a woman is knowing that sometimes you're going to have to break in shoes and it's going to hurt. Granted I make it a point to rarely rock such shoes so maybe if it were more of a thing in my life I might purchase it. But blisters build character, right? Right? Plus let's face it, $6 is like a flip flop splurge for me and bandaids are cheap. Footware isn't really an investment for me...those shoes are cute though! AND organic! Payless has 'em. I may have to check it out. They seem fairly foot friendly.
This has been product placement, shoes edition, with batgirl. You may go about your business now.
Now in this particular issue they featured an article on something called Closet Couture. When I started the article they started describing something that sounded exactly like the part in Clueless where Cher sits down at her computer to peruse her wardrobe and pick an outfit out. Then the article referenced this exact same part and I thought, OK, article, you now have my full attention.
So here's how the site works: you register and upload your entire wardrobe (I imagine one must clear their schedule to take pics of all their clothes, and all their shoes, and their jewelry...) which then becomes visible to everyone else registered. From there you can then compile possible outfits, pass them on to your friends, and they can rate it. This is actually pretty cool as there have been several times I've sent frantic group emails to the girls trying to describe what it is I'm wearing to get advice. You can also peruse other people's wardrobes, people you don't even know, and send them wardrobe suggestions. AND you can consult the site's stylists with questions and for services. For example the writer of the article paid a fee to have them "pack" her suitcase for an upcoming trip. Plus if you make one too many catty/uncalled for remarks, you get kicked off the site, which would be nice for when random stranger checks out your closet and tells you your taste sucks or something.
I checked it out online a bit. I don't have a what I consider an extensive enough wardrobe to join, plus I tend to wear whatever the hell I want and not care. And really I suppose I could just take pics and send them directly to friends ahead of an event. Or I could drive over to their apartment/house if they live locally. That all having been said--if I did have a fashionista closet I would sign up.
In conclusion, Clueless is still an awesome movie.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Mick and I watched an episode of I'm a Celebrity...Get me out of here! rerun on MTV this weekend. It's, ah, interesting. I prefer to read about it instead. Witness the following from MSNBC.com on the demise of Speidi:The episode opened with the pair spending the evening praying fervently in the "Lost Chamber," a shack-like shelter which boasted several spiders on the ceiling. When the two returned to camp after their cast mates decided to let them back on the show after they quit last week, they told their cast mates that they'd changed, and proclaimed their Christianity. Heidi said of the experience in the "Lost Chamber": "The only way we got through it was praying, and Jesus delivered us."
Back at camp, the pair reconciled with their cast mates, and Heidi sang a song off her upcoming album for the group. Janice Dickinson responded with what she called "constructive criticism," saying, "You know what that sounded like? A cat that someone put water on ... a drowning cat. ... I used to live in New York City, Heidi -- if someone was singing like that, someone would yell, 'Ah, shut up!'" Janice later apologized for what she said.
Heidi told her castmates that she'd always longed to be a Christian missionary, and told them she'd not always been as wealthy as she is today. "There were times in my life I couldn't afford Ramen [noodles] & I couldn't afford tampons," she said.
Things took a turn, however, when Heidi began throwing up.
Anyway so then Heidi had to go to the hospital, she's going to live, blah blah blah, they're off the show. Apparently they are going to be replaced by...Holly Montag! No word on whether or not she'll throw food to get attention. Or whether Heidi now stockpiles ramen noodles and tampons now just because she can. I mean I totally would if I were here. I would have a home recording studio complete with tampons/ramen noodles cupboards.
Friday, June 5, 2009
I wonder if the guy from Grease will be in it?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
OK, back to dramatic sniffling and Bam.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
It has come to my attention that the two of you are running around flappin' your pretty little gums complaining that you all can't get jobs cause you're too good looking. Um, I am far too good looking to be running around carrying trays in a fugly olive green t-shirt, black pants, and long white apron but I do what I have to. As for you, baby crier Megan Fox, men across america may beg to differ but I do not find you all that attractive. So, please, ladies, shut your pretty little mouths. A lot of us can't get jobs but we're not makin' up excuses about it. Have you heard the economy is bad and doesn't care how bangin' you hair is? One final thought...maybe you're not payin the bills because you haven't got the skills? Think about it. Ooo, my bad, you might be too pretty to think.