Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Bonus points to the film editors of the show for treating us to the inspired moment when Colby's lady friend marveled for a good minute or so how completely different Heidi looks from her old pictures! while Heidi attempted to form an expression on her surgery-frozen face. Sadly, all that she could come up with facial experession-wise was to say "Who wants a drink?" Um, not the Bible thumpers, Permapout!
In conclusion, who else yelled "SLEAZY T!" and raised their hands in the air when he made his second appearance? Forget Kristin taking over--this guy is clearly ready to be a breakout star. Give me some more Sleazy T, Lo, Brent Bolthouse, and Kelly Cutrone and I'm ready to roll.
Oh yeah, and Audrina and Brody are equal parts predictable, stupid, boring, and skanky.
Holly, you can fix this, right? Tell your good old Puffin that you'll consider coming back if he puts the kibosh on this operation? Maybe you can Heidi's ma can team up? We've seen quite enough of Heidi's plastic surgery on her face--no one needs to see what else has been tampered with.
Oh well. At least I'm like someone who does the Tim Gunn Red Lobster impression!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
1. Um, dude, her fam does not like you cause you're a d-bag--I think they earned the right to get a little wild and crazy at your wedding. Speaking of which,
2. Weddings and alcohol were MADE for each other! Hell, once you've gone to enough weddings the booze is the only thing that helps you sit through another one! (Bonus points if the two land you a nice boy to find you things on the internet.)
As for other interesting Speidi wedding info, I heard on the radio on the way to work, and this was from E! TV reporting on the Ryan Seacrest show so very viable, that none other than old Laguna Beacher Kristin showed up, of course sparking the rumors that once LC is dunzo she'll take over the show, gag. And she also apparently almost took out Steph Pratt trying to catch the bouquet. Don't worry, Kristin got it! And hopefully Steph's new lips survived the incident...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
That's right, people! Lindsay Lohan!
According to Ellen's show site: "LINDSAY LOHAN: I’m really looking forward to this interview. She had a very public breakup with Samantha Ronson and appeared on the cover of US Magazine with the headline, “I Am So Alone.” I want to make sure that Lindsay’s okay, and to let her know that she’s got a lot of support." Thumbs up to Ellen! (Oh, Prince is also going to be on.)
FURTHERMORE Lindsay has apparently shown interest in joining up with Mel B. in "Peepshow", a new Vegas show thing. Now I'm always one to be vocal about my complete disgust with Las Vegas, but a former Spice Girl and LiLo in something hopefully like my beloved Showgirls? Sign me up!
Ellen and Portia can come too!
OK, so, appear on Ellen, check. Break up with Samantha Ronson, check. New project, hopeful check. You know what? My work here is almost done. It's a 3 point plan, people!
I can't decide which is creepier: their hair or the fact that the daughter said, "People ask if I mind that she's transformed herself into me, but I couldn't be more proud. I'm the one who helps her with her hair and clothes, so it's down to me, too. I can hardly accuse Mum of copying my looks when she gave them to me, can I?"
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Eh, it probably wouldn't fit me anyway. And it's $60. Though it has to go on sale eventually...That would sort of be stickin' it to them still, right? Not getting their full money's worth?
OK, I'm easily influenced by media and images (like the stupid Papa Johns commercial for the XL Xtreme Cheese Pizza I just saw, but pizza influences me anyway) and I was reading a review of the new CD by Bat For Lashes. I have no idea what this lady sounds like but now I feel like I should cause a) the review made it sound pretty good, b) I like bats, and c) how can you go wrong with this album cover? It's like she has outer space tattooed on her! (She doesn't really, of course I checked.)
Friday, April 17, 2009
So, of course, not to be outdone, our old buddy Spencer Pratt has decided to in turn challenge Ashton: "From the moment Ashton accepts my challenge, assuming he's man enough to do so, whoever adds the most new followers in 30 days wins." If Ashton wins? Well, then, Spencer and Heidi will...clean he and Demi's whole house! And if SPENCER wins (which, let's see, he wouldn't, at the time of his challenge Ashton had over a million Twitter followers and Spence had almost 200,000, though he "believes in his Twitter family"), Ashton and Demi have to clean Spencer's whole, um, car. Just in time for, what, Clean Your Whole House/Car World Day? What a humanitarian!
Speaking of which, I challenge Spencer. If I can make more posts about you on our blog then you can make about me over the next 30 hours, then the winner is you're a huge douche bag! Everybody wins!
P.s. I hate the circus and you should too. One look at those haggard tigers and sad elephants with kids on their backs is just too much for me. Free the animals! Make the clowns the bitches!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
No, Audrina, the truth is, many of us watch The Hills cause Lauren is like our cool imaginary BFF. And we like Lo. And the rest of you, well, you're just kinda fame whores!
Though I have to admit I'm all about the comic releif that is Steph Pratt. Her People's Revolution Interview and Ms. Cutrone's subsequent reaction are up there in my fav Hills scenes. And I also have to admit--I'm impressed she knows how to pronounce quesadilla. There are many ways to pronounce it incorrectly. I would know, I'm a waitress.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
From Wonderwall who apparently got it from US:
"The Obamas are finally welcoming their puppy this Tuesday! The black Portuguese water dog comes from a kennel in Texas. It was sold to a family who gave it back, so will be "re-homed" to the first family, TMZ.com reports. The six-month-old dog is named Charlie, but the Obamas will rename it. The dog will be presented to the family by Senator Ted Kennedy, who has purchased his own pups from the same kennel. Sasha and Malia's new pet is from the same lineage as the Kennedy dogs, the Web site reports. The first pet's arrival has been a hot topic since the president promised his girls a puppy the night he was elected. After taking office, Obama said they'd get a pooch in the spring because the warmer weather would make his daughters more apt to walk it."
Of course that pic isn't the exact dog, I was just curious as to what such a pooch would look like. No doubt there will be a run on them soon!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Now I have to wait for the frickin 2 part season finale.
Can I just get the Cliffnotes?
1. Kanye saw the recent episode where they made fun of him and thought it was funny, but it hurt his feelings, but he knows he needs to take his ego down a notch: "I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE." (It's in caps from his blog, I'm too lazy to type it in uncaps.)
2. Trey Parker and Matt Stone were just given a signed photo of Saddam Hussein by the US Marines, who told them they made Hussein watch the South Park movie over and over again. Really? I mean, I'm not saying I was a fan of the dude, but that just seems...odd. Parker and Stone are "very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means." Um, what exactly does it mean?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Exhibit A: New York goes to work. Why are we still allowing this trashy woman into our homes? Kudos to her for getting paid to do nothing but be ridiculous though.
Exhibit B: Daisy of Love. Yet another trashy woman to set a horrible example for us ladies. A spin-off of Rock of Love was inevitable, but what is a daisy of love? Usually the titles make a little sense or are a play on words. Am I missing something?
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
You know, I talk a big game about a paired-down wedding but however it plays out, I think I'm going to need a really long aisle way to strut my stuff. (Note to self: will need to practice runway walk with Dad.)
Well, she tried to anyway. The Colorado license plate people politely suggested that may not be the way 2GO.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
1. It used to be that I would go to bed and the boy would be the one staying up late, but now HE has a normal-houred job whereas I chose to go get a drink after closing and now am the one up while he is asleep; so anyway while I was on the computer just now with the tv not even on, all of a sudden our cable box which normally has the time on it suddenly read 8.8.88, then just went blank. Does this happen every night? I got a little freaked out and turned it on, and it worked, and then turned it off and the time came back on. Is my cable box trying to tell me something? Do I need to get a psychic kid up in here?
2. Everytime I read something on-line about Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt imaginary bile rises in my throat.
Monday, April 6, 2009
I noticed there's a new opening sequence and sighed for the absence of Whitney. I think I assumed they would throw Lo or Stephanie in there to even it out. And then there were 3...
I'm hoping they illuminate us more as to what happened with Justin. Dude gave her a ring then started acting like a tool again? Shocker. Speaking of tools where did Spencer's friend Charlie come from? I mean besides from the sex industry, dude is rocking a total porn 'stache. It went well with Spencer's shiny shiny face. I think I saw the bartender's reflection in it. She's a bright one, too, making that awesome observation that Mexico is a different country. Wha? When did that happen? Here I was just assuming it was an off-shoot of Texas. Thanks, Stacey! And as for Spencer's fighting techniques...hitting people in the ear? Not cool, dawg.
In conclusion I totally started tearing up when Heidi and Lauren were crying...and the stupid DVR cut off during it! What happens?! What will happen this season? It's 12:30 now and the rerun is on again at 1...dare I stay up and wait for the end? Wait a second, I have Castle on DVR, I can kill time watching that! OK. So it all works out in the end! You're relieved, right? I know you were worried. Where's the food in this house?
Well, I don't like Billy Corgan, and I don't like Tila Tequila. So I guess it's only fair they attend an event together. I mean they're both creepy and they both need to disappear forever...OK, no. Seriously. Just....no. Even I can't justify this one!
That end sex scene was awkward enough for me. I cannot imagine having my mom watching me create such awkwardness. I needed to share.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
DEAD MAN'S BONES - "NAME IN STONE" from biz3 publicity on Vimeo.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Oh my f***ing god, we get it. WE GET IT! You have footlongs for $5! I got it the first bajillion times you said it in your endless commercials about your five dollar footlongs! We all know! Babies know! Dogs know! People who live in caves that have no access to the outside world who haven't even heard of Subway? Yeah! They know too! So, please, for the love of all that is good and decent and holy--SHUT UP ABOUT THE $5 FOOTLONGS.
Selsun Dandruff shampoo
Clinique Almost Powder Makeup (to "get rid of the glazed doughnut look")
Tide to go Mini
Mennen Speed Stick
Oral-B Satin Floss (only interesting because it's the same kind I use!)
StriVectin Phase 2 topical Antioxidant (because apparentl he's acne prone)
Why do I find this stuff so fascinating?
Genius! I wish they did that more often because seriously how many recycled questions can you ask these people? How was the breakup? What is your take on fashion? Body issues? Why are you so cool even though you're a totally normal person? I'm not sure if the book is any good (though my bestie would obviously have great taste in books) or if I'll even read it, but I applaud Marie Claire for trying something new. We can always use more celebrations of books in this country and Oprah can't do it by herself.
Friday, April 3, 2009
I was reading my daily beauty blogs today and one mentioned the 'GoGirl Feminine Urination Device'. Apparently we can now pee while standing. I think I can safely assume that we've all had to go so bad and had to relieve ourselves in a less than ideal environment, so it'd be awesome for travel. The only thing...you have to carry your used urination device around with you.