Saturday, January 31, 2009
Oh my god! Where to start?! The convoluted plot that actually drew me in and had me trying to figure it out! (I was pretty sure I had it down; god bless Wikipedia's specific plot summaries that confirmed I was right.) The eventual use of the title as an actual line of dialouge! Lindsay Lohan's horrible exotic dancing! The fake hand that fits over the fake robotic hand that responds to your nerve impulses! The crowd at the football game taking a moment of silence for the young girl's mutilated and dead body that was found, followed by the announcer yelling they will win this won for her! The idiot boyfriend asking the FBI for condoms! Clearly I could go on all day. But I will instead leave you with these 3 quotes:
1. "People get cut." Lindsay as Dakota Moss.
2. "Is that all I am to you? A way to relax before the game?" Lindsay as Aubrey Flemming to her boyfriend after he feels up her leg during science lab.
3. "I used to have stigmata. Took robotussin, cleared it right up!" Mick as Mick.
Firstly, the runner-up is Chet. Let's talk about Chet for a moment, shall we? Like how in the opening credits montage which is mainly black and white with pops of color, we see Chet apparently scoring a girl's number...while wearing a pink scarf. Don't get Chet wrong, he loves the ladies. At a night out with his roommate's, he runs into Alex, a girl he pines for that he met since she's friend of roommate Scott (I really enjoyed how roommate Baya said it was fate they ran into each other again--yeah, seeing as how fate totally means when your roommate's friend shows up at the same public function). At this point he makes the brilliant statement, "She's a model, and I really appreciate that." Really, Chet? I bet you're the only one! I mean, traditionally when dudes meet models they could care less! But not you, Mr. Pink Scarf! He also uses creepy phrases like "get the chance to know her intimately." Even though, at the end, as roommate Ryan points out, since she's not a mormon and he's a virgin no one's gettin' anywhere. I'm not even going to touch the part where he tries to explain to Sarah, a victim of sexual abuse, the importance of forgiving and moving on.
Now, who could top all that? Why, the winner of the week: Devyn! Oh, Devyn. Where to start with you? Devyn won two pagents so of course she wants to break into TV and film, so she'll probably move to L.A. eventually since in New York you get "suckered into Broadway." What a splendid way to put it! How many Broadways stars have cursed the day they were tricked into their roles! Of course that doesn't stop her from getting a casting agent's info from her cousin (who apparently was suckered into being in the stage version of The Color Purple). And what does she sing at this audition that she is 45 minutes late for since she accidentally went to New Jersey first? The National Anthem! Who sings the National Anthem for a casting agent? Apparently the same person who freaks out when a transgender person invites her on stage to sing with her and she then completely freaks out because she hasn't had a chance to warm up. Girl, please! I've met theater people and they don't even wait for the invitation to perform to finish coming out of your mouth before they've whipped out their tap shoes and the words to "Give my regards to Broadway."
But don't cry for Devyn, cause she's not just some girl off the street, oh no! She is going to make it! Because she went to college! She has a resume! Heads up, Dev. Take a long look at me, sweetie. Then go run this plate to table 75.
OK. So, you know how Diddy crazy? I guess when you fire like, half of a band, it is pretty tough for the other half to continue on. Especially when one of that half leaves too. So, I am really sorry to have to tell you this way.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
If you have lots of time on your hands, like we do apparently, check out this unofficial site. It apparently puttered out before the last season but it has tons of quizzes (though apparently doesn't see fit to tell you, when wrong, what the correct answer is...) and some of the music featured (Trace, did you notice "Love Burns" in "One's Got Class and the other one Dyes"?). Sadly, no pics of East Side Tilly. Maybe she's best left to the imagination.
While driving to the grocery store (syrup, half and half, Triscuts and english muffins, now you're all caught up on our lives) Mick and I were discussing favorite Gilmore moments. Maybe compiling a top ten list is in our future. So far I came up with these:
1. The marathon Friday Night Fight montage.
2. Gil's rendition of "Hollaback Girl" complete with bogus bag line.
3. When Paris covers for Rory when Dean discovers she and Jess at the house.
4. Luke and Lore's first kiss, as interrupted by naked Kirk.
5. My pick for best Emily and Lorelai moment is in the last episode when Lorelai suggests continuing Friday night dinners--that one fleeting moment when you catch something closed to pleased/happy on Emily's face!...then her normal face kicks back in. Eh, what can you do. (When they get drunk and have a computer lesson and discuss canoes vs. kayaks comes in close 2nd.)
6. When Jess comes to visit Rory and Logan is a total d-bag and Jess tries to figure out what Rory's problem is. Is anything more swoonworthy then him yelling "Who knows you better then me?" (Well, actually he would probably come in after Lorelai in a knowing Rory contest, but let's not argue semantics, shall we not?)
7. Rory and Lorelai singing the theme to Pippi Longstocking during the double date.
8. When Rory comes back to the Inn after the long fight and Michel lets excitement to see her slip through his normally French demeanor.
9. When Rory, Lane, and Paris share a moment drinking Miss Patty's Founder's Day Punch.
10. Um...hmm. I do like it when Richard and Emily come to Rory's birthday party and Richard reads a Cosmopolitan on the front porch. But I also like when Michel and Sookie both have ennui. And Lane's wedding when they run from the house to the church...OK. Maybe it would be more of top 20 list. Let me know what I'm missing, please.
Honestly, I'm a little disappointed if this is the case. I was sort of looking forward to the album dropping.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Somewhere along the line, someone put it in your goofy moose-shootin' little head that it might be a good idea to try and run for president in 2012. Why don't you pretend they're a moose? Cause this is about as smart as Allie is for staying with Adam on The City. Which is to say, not at all. (I broke it down for ya as you seem to be a little on the slow side.)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Want to know more about this fun subject? Visit this Rolling Stone article then Youtube to hear the Jam fo yoself!
2. Seriously. Allie break the fuck up with this dude. If you doubt him that strongly, it's probably for a reason. I am so over girls and guys putting up with jerks. There are way hotter and way nicer people out there. Why can't you trust this girl over Adam? I could almost see the 'cha-ching she bought it' in his eyes when she finally gives in and says I love you too.
3. Why, just because your boyfriends bestie has (clearly) cheated on his girl, would that mean you shouldn't trust your guy? That's just weird and as Olivia would say, "You're what, 23? You're not, like, in high school."
Love this show.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Not satisfied? Me neither! So I deferred to my second good friend IMDB and hit the message boards (it's my day off and I want to be a famous pop culture writer and I'm working my way through a pot of coffee, OK? Slag off!) and found THIS: "Their ex-boyfriends are best friends. They met a couple years ago through the boyfriends, then went to Coachella and stayed in an RV together." I can totally picture Erin in an RV.
So, Kate and myself, there we are. As to the ID of anybody wearing a beanie or in the airport, well...hey, this is show is on demand and Mick is off doing laundry! Gooooooooooooooal!
My friend Andrew makes an excellent point (and may I again offer him thanks for his copy of The Descent, and his wife probably thanks me for getting it out of the house) and brings us to a subject near and dear to my heart: sequels, which will also inevitably bring us to remakes. (To know me is to know this post could get heated and rambling; deal.)
Now, some sequels I will cheerfully stand behind--Rocky 4, anyone? Here's the thing that the fine folks in movieland need to realize: grounds for a sequel. The end of a good movie often leaves you wondering, what would come next? Here's the thing...you don't always ACTUALLY want to know. You don't want someone to come along and say, oh here, let me show you! Sometimes you want to be left with your own thoughts. In cases of, say, Rocky or the Godfather fam, sequels work because the story has more to be told, or the character warrants further development. Of course it's also good to know when to stop, I'm talking to you Rocky 5 and 6--clearly, you should have gone out on the high note of ending the Cold War. And offing Adrianne? Unforgivable. And why I will never view your last installment.
Here's the thing: horror movie sequels. Yes, it's cool that you made a really excellent scary movie. LET IT GO. Go make up another new one. Again, some character it's cool to develop more, even though we all know where it will ultimately end up. But just because people keep going, please--show some restraint. Stop at 5 or something. (No, I'm not talking to you, Saw, you should've quit while you were ahead.) Same thing with remakes. Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. Was it excellent the first time? Yes. Did it inspire you as a filmmaker? Sure! Why not! It should inspire you...to create your own thing. YES, I am most certainly talking to you, Micheal I Don't Have An Original Bone In My Stupid Body Bay.
Which brings us full circle to the beginning of the post and the point made by Andrew: some movies simply should not have a sequel because when they ended, THEY ENDED. They ended quite well. In the case of The Descent: do I want to know what happens to Sarah? Sure. And by sure I mean no. It's an extra head scratcher as pointed out in this article which addresses the fact that by region release, this movie has 2 endings--the original of which does not in fact leave the door open for a sequel.
In conclusion, grudging sigh, all of this will probably not stop me from seeing it. What do you say, Andrew? For old time's sake? We can wear matching t-shirts again!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Speaking of mental hospitals, this show could put a gal in one. Mick bravely soldiered through the first 2 episodes with us tonite having never seen it before (though Hurley actually summed up the entire show til now in less then two minutes to his ma quite nicely). After the first few minutes I was ready to poke my eyes out. After the first hour I felt a feeling best expressed by my dad that he said after basically every episode last season when I would call to discuss: "This show is really starting to piss me off." In a bit of wisdom expressed from my Minnesota dad Jeff, when he called me after the show to get my thoughts and I told him I was completely confused, he pointed out that they are jumping around in time, which is confusing. Thank god they're not doing the usual flashbacks/flashforwards because there's enough going on as it is.
I started to settle down a bit in the second hour, which to me was a little less fast-paced, something my brain needed. We had been discussing the role of Hurley earlier in the evening and it was nice to see him get some good airtime, and I have to say I do love his parents. I'm glad the new castaway's shelf life was shortlived, and I'm confused by Ben's new friend Jill the butcher (Reason #501 I'm still staying away from meat--apparently you never know when an evil genius is keeping a body "safe" in the meat lockers). I'm interested by the woman who wouldn't sell Des the ring suddenly popping up in Ben's life, though somehow not surprised. Let's face it, this show somehow manages to simaltaneously constantly surprise me yet not suprise me by suprising me at the same time. If you found that confusing, you sort of have an idea of what's going on in my head.
Good band names from tonite: Death by Dishwasher; Libby Says Hi.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
T: "Panic, but take comfort in four years of guaranteed employment."
E: "No idea. The secret service know where you are at all times. That makes sex awkward."
Batgirl: "Well, drink a lot of wine and eat a lot of really good pizza, drunkenly stumble around making fun of past president's portraits, then pass out in the oval office."
K: "I would prank call you from the White House."
Me: "I'd probably cry and then hit up Lincoln's bedroom to see if his ghost is really still there and ask for advice."
What would you do? It's an interesting thing to think about.
After my aunt's teary call I started watching the Neighborhood ball and while I am ECSTATIC about the day, the inauguration, the future, I have to share a few of the snarky comments I was entertaining myself with:
So I was still basking in the moment of the Obamas' first dance as Stevie Wonder starts singing Signed, Sealed, Delivered with a cast of chanteuses. I was into until Shakira jumps in and threw off the whole vibe. I like Shakira- she's got talent, but her uniqueness did not flow with the group they put her in. Ouch.
Other thoughts on the ball:
- Ray Romano? Really? He was actually kind of funny but I was quite surprised to see him walk out on stage to entertain the crowd. Everybody loves him you know. And this was the ball for everyone.
- NICK CANON? Who let him in? He seems to be part-time emcee and part-time disc jockey. He was probably Mariah's plus one. (edit: apparently he was the host of the night)
-Kate Walsh- her dress was AWFUL- and she used the phrase "extreme movement specialists" which is just ridiculous on every level.
-Jay-Z performed in his new signature nerd glasses, which I am pretty sure he swiped from Kanye's closet last time they had a boys night in. But he can do no wrong in my book and I loved em with his tux- white vest and white bow tie.
-Shakira did a harmonica solo during her solo performance- made up for her arresting turn in the group number
-Kerry Washington looked like she had a root canal this morning and her face is still numb.
-In watching continuing coverage of the other balls I can tell you Obama is reusing lines at every ball. And I bet they are getting sick of hearing At Last. Once Beyonce serenades you while trying to hold back her tears, the cd recording of the instrumental version really leaves something to be desired.
- Jason Wu- dress designer for Michelle's ball gown called Anderson Cooper (how appropriate) to talk about the dress. Let me tell ya, he is a better designer than he is a speaker. He didn't know until tonight that she was wearing his dress. How amazing would that feel?
-Kanye on Anderson Cooper- performed at the Youth Ball. Opened for Barack and said this would be the only time he would be the opening act. Tongue in cheekly that is, cuz that's how he rolls.
-Kanye says wow- George Bush is a human being and he hurts too. Too bad he couldn't do more at the end to help his legacy. Is that a back-handed compliment or a front-handed insult?
I think that's enough live ball blogging for this year. I just want to know- what are Barack and Michelle saying to each other as they dance?
1. Am I supposed to like Jay as a person/character after he makes statements like, "Sometimes you just need to take your nuts back in your hand and say OK, it's my turn now"?
2. How are there still girls left that actually fall for the line, "You know you can trust me baby!"?
3. What exactly does Olivia mean by the phrase, "You look like you were in a retirement home" in regards to Cousin Nevan's sneaks? And 3.5 What the hell is a needlepoint loafer?
This has been 3 Questions I am left with after this week's The City. Thank you.
Maybe it's the fact that I love Vogue but while watching the Inauguration, I found myself wondering: Who is Mrs. Obama wearing today? She looks fab. Well, God bless the internet for knowing all. This article accompanying the info (Isabel Toledo is the designer of the hour) is actually pretty interesting. In my humble, Voguephile opinion.
Alison (forcing herself awake): Has it started?
Alison: Watching. I've never watched one of these before.
Alli: I watched in third grade for Bill Clinton.
Alison: Are you watching at school?
Alli: Yes. All the classrooms have it on.
Alison: I bet his kids are thinking, it's cold out and this is boring, we better get two damn puppies.
Alli: I was thinking that too.
Alison: Oh I'm going to cry.
Alli: I got a little teary. Good thing I'm in back. There are kids complaining about having to watch. Do you think I'd get in trouble for hitting them?
Alison: Nah...Did he memorize this? That's crazy.
Alli: Well he's probably waited for this forever. Our using a prompter...Prompter.
Alison: Oprah holding cue cards you mean.
Alli: Oh god, don't make me laugh I'm in class.
(13 min. later)
Alison: Finally! Oprah!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Oh my god, I love Jason Segel and Paul Rudd and I have been waiting for this genius combination since last fall. Here is the restricted trailer for I love you, man. Prepare yourself because it is truly hilarious.
This is Chet from Real World Brooklyn. This is Matt from Real World New Orleans. Both are religious boys prone to acting like self-righteous d-bags and assuring us all that no, they're not gay despite the fact that their appearances would suggest otherwise. This has been a public service announcement for those who have been separated at birth: There may be hope for you. Just please, get it off of my television. Thank you.
You know, like Nana Pratt once said, life is a bucket of worms, and you don't know what to do with it. But occasionally, every once in a great while, if you just muddle through and be patient, life throws you a bone. A big, delicious bone shaped like Joaquin Phoenix growing a Unabomber beard and announcing that along with the help of Diddy, he's recording...a rap record.
Yeah, sometimes life isn't so bad.
This idea, however--well, I can't really say the same for that!
1. I didn't cry! though I did get teary eyed during "Read My Mind" (come on, "I don't shine if you don't shine"--that's a beautiful line).
2. In case you're wondering if it's completely awesome to be in a gigantic dark room with a shiz-ton of people you have never and most likely will never meet and you're all chanting "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" while Mr. Flowers holds a microphone over all of you... ah, yeah, it f**king is.
(P.S. to Kate, thought of you during "Mr. Brightside" and sang the second "doin' just fine!" for ya.)
Fyi, I didn't spend my entire weekend watching crap tv. VH1 just had a hold on me today.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
An Open Letter to Pepsi.
Recently it has come to my attention that you are apparently launching yet another ad campaign. LBH, Pepsi: Give it up. Coke clearly has the edge, especially when it comes to advertising. I mean, Santa Claus drinks Coke. So, please, stop with the attempted theatrics. Be thankful for the faithful customers you do have. Like My Favorite Uncle Don who can tell the difference between Pepsi bottled/canned in New Ulm, MN and Pepsi bottled/canned in Fargo, ND. Now THERE is an ad campaign!
Faithful coke drinker,
All right. Traci told me about this really cool blog called nogoodforme which in turn just introduced me to Thunderant. Apparently, Fred Armissen (of Saturday Night Live fame, my favorites of his body of work include Ferictio The Drummer who to this day inspires me to tell people that I'm yust keeding! and those hilarious Weekend Update things where he and that other akward guy explain things to us through songs that consist entirely of them singing nonsense) and Carrie Brownstein (who was in Sleater-Kinney who I met once and totally cried and then when they went on "indefinite hiatus" I totally cried again and called my dad who had no idea what I was talking about but these sorts of phone calls are one of the staples of our relationship) make short films now. So far I only watched 3 but giggled a lot, especially at the end of The Perfect Song and at most of Feminist Bookstore Episode 2 (as a feminist I cannot stress enough the importance of being able to laugh at one's feminist self). I had no idea Carrie Brownstein is hilarious. Now I'll be the first to admit my sense of humor is a bit off sometimes but I'm fairly sure at least someone else who reads/writes this blog will get a good laugh out of it.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Riiiight. I know all married women think that when they're trying on clothes. "Hmm, will this match the thing I tend to wear, oh, pretty much all of the time seeing as how it's my wedding ring? I mean, everyone will be scrutinizing my entire outfit to make sure it matches a ring that I generally wear at every other event I attend." I should probably keep that in mind when I get married. Maybe I'll get a clear ring. That will go with everything!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I don't care if it says D&G on the label, those are pj's. The next outfit though, I highly approve of:
What do you think? Come on, judge with me!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A few questions. Why does the Fargo Forum insist on publishing this stuff like it's great news we should be proud of? Why Corn Fed? I don't think we have an inordinate amount of corn here. It should've been something like 'Mosquito Bitten' or 'Winter Induced Suicide'. Much more appropriate Real and Chance. (Who am I kidding, you're probably just trying to give them worse names than you were given). What will her show be called when their love predictably sour? Corn Fed's Husking of Love? I'm done.
Well, another year of the Golden Globes are over, and I'm sure you've been dying to hear my deepest, darkest thoughts on the matter. I will start with the fashion. There were some fine lookin' ladies--Christina Applegate was quite lovely--but my vote goes with Laura Linney. Isn't she golden? There were also of course some odd choices. Sting looked t0e-up bad and Maggie Gyllenhaal's choice was a bit baffling. But Alisons' honors for Who The Hell Hates You Enough To Have Convinced You That THIS Was A Good Idea? goes to Miss Renee.
I was happy to see Kate Winslet get her two-fer wins (she easily deserved it for The Reader, which of course I can safely say seeing as how I saw it and all). Who wasn't validated to see Heath win, and Christopher Nolan gave an excellent speech in his honor.
Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange presented together and they were acting straight up goofy. I'm thinking they're maybe still in Grey Gardens mode?
The real highlights for me were the funny moments. Allow me to run them down:
*Don Cheadle's dry introduction of Burn After Reading, in which he points out he's never been asked to be in a Coen Brothers movie and given the chance, he would've crushed Fargo, and they always ask boring people like Brad Pitt (strategically placed front and center).
*Tina Fey's inspired moment of if you ever feel too high on your horse, "There's this thing called the Internet" and then proceeded to list off screen names of people who can "Suck it." See, this is why I love Tina Fey--who else marks a moment like winning a Globe with the phrase Suck it?
*Bruce Springsteen's valid observation that this is most likely the only time he will be in direct competition with Clint Eastwood.
*Ricky Gervais spotting Kate Winslet in the audience and reminding her it was his advice to do a Holocaust movie and the awards would pour in, followed by his obersavation that the only downside to a Holocaust movie is there's never any gag reel.
*Tracy Morgan's announcement that he and Tina Fey made a deal if Barrack won office that Tracy would do all the talking on behalf of 30 Rock.
*Collin Farrell being able to make fun of himself after a case of the sniffles that it was cold, not that other thing that it used to be.
In conclusion, Slumdog Millionaire is now posed to get some Oscar love and somewhere, John Adams can be happy knowing that for all his contributions to this great country of ours, Golden Globes can now be included. They'll start including that in social studies now, right?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Next subject was Drew's new spin-off of 'Celeb rehab' called 'Sober House' where we follow the rehabers that chose to go into sober living. I'm not sure which celebs will be there but I'm sure I'll watch an episode or two (it makes a very good workout show). It was interesting though, the two started discussing reality shows in general and they make the point that most of the shows put only crazy people on tv. Now I know you're saying, "Fuckin' duh Alli, that's what makes good tv!" But they meant actual crazy, borderline personality disordered people. I never thought of that. Maybe because I always wanted to be on Real World when I was younger for the experience, but it makes total sense that it'd be a very narcissistic person who'd think that everyone in tv land should know their business and what their demons are. Drew also made the point that reality tv is now displaying people's emotional 'deformities' like PT Barnum displayed physical deformities.
Interesting. And really all those reality dating shows now seem sadder than before. Maybe I should send this to Bret Michaels?
Sidenote: Daniel Radcliffe was on the show too and it was a very funny interview. Since I love all things Harry Potter, I'll post the interview as soon as I can find it.
Beats womanizer, I guess.
I think after tonight I'd totally go with Chris (aka DVF guy). He had that totally forward "I know I want you" look in his eyes and he seemed so confident in a nice guy way. Plus who doesn't want a guy that can hook her up with gorgeous clothing but doesn't seem too into fashion himself. I guess if Whitney doesn't want him she can send him my way. When we hanging out girl?
On a whole other note, as I said in my last blog, I love how I met your mother, but tonight it was totally violated by the presence of Heidi and Spencer. It was only a short hilarious moment, but still. Is nowhere safe?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
And it would not be complete without a digital short (wait for the end) :
Neil Patrick Harris: "What does the P.H. stand for in N.P.H.?"
Harold: "Patrick Harris."
Neil Patrick Harris: "No, common mistake. Poon Handler."
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Hopefully this season doesn't include her untimely medical demise, cause that just sounds like not the safest way to go about things. It was probably quicker then getting it done here. I imagine that's why she did it. It's just...foreign country gender reassignment surgery? That just sounds like a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.
Oh, and Ryan and Chet are sketch.
That's about it.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Item 1: In the character summary of Locke, it concludes with the sentence, "Locke apparently dies of an alleged suicide three years after the Oceanic Six leave the island, under the alias of Jeremy Bentham." Wha-wha-wha? Alleged suicide? Did I miss that? It wouldn't surprise me if I did, as so many flippin' things happen on this damned show, but I feel like I would have grasped that. So if this actually is the case, does he do so thinking he'll be reincarnated if brought back to the island? Is it "alleged" because in reality he was killed and it was made to look like a suicide in an attempt to get the Oceanic Six back to the island?
Item 2: Totally forgot that Shannon's father/Boone's stepfather was the one who hit Jack's ex-wife Sarah with his car. This was brought back to me by the Off-Island Characters flow chart, which ALSO led me to THIS:
Item 3: Cassidy Phillips. "Cassidy is a recently divorced woman whom Sawyer cons, despite his loving her. Cassidy then goes to Iowa and meets Kate. Cassidy later has Sawyer arrested and visits him in jail, where she tells him they have a daughter together." A-HA! I vaguely remember some of this! And it leads me to speculate the following: Whatever Sawyer whispers in Kate's ear and we then see Kate trying to take care of behind Jack's back post-island could quite possibly involve this woman and their daughter. You see! You see what I did here?! I, too, can make up theories! Make a note of this, people!
Item 4: Nerd alert! Nerd alert! That would be me.
Lost: ruining your life and making you feel somewhat intelligent yet still like an idiot at the same time for its fifth season!
Wait, someone married R. Kelly?
Someone stayed married to him for 11 years? And had children with him, too, apparently.
What was it that kept her with him? The lure of the child porn charges? The artistic brilliance of "Trapped in the Closet"?
Wait, R. Kelly has kids?
Is that safe?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Lisa Bonet had a baby in December and I'll give you three guesses to the name......no you got it wrong. The bouncing baby boy's name is: Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha.
Say that three times fast! I still love her and she's probably the only person that could pull that off. Her babydaddy is Jason Momoa from Stargate Atlantis which I've unfortunately been made to watch a few times and his hotness is the only thing that got me through.
Gilmore Girls season 4, episode 17, "Girls in bikinis, boys doin' the twist," original airdate: April 13, 2004.
Garden State, movie, released on September 22, 2004.
The Shins appeared in some capacity in both. However April comes before September, so...
Sorry, Zach Braff.
The Gilmores scooped ya.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I love love love Lady Gaga. She's so not my typical style of music but I enjoy her immensely. Even my 18 year old Lamb of God loving brother got her album. Here is a piano version of her song 'Poker face'. It's enjoyable.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
So far I've only see one best picture nominee, The Reader, and I highly enjoyed it. I'm going to try and squeeze in Slumdog Millionaire before the awards so I can least have 2/5 of a chance of being psyched. I've seen two of the comedies, Burn After Reading and In Bruges, and I'm rooting for In Bruges which I laughed my ass off at, especially the line, "If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me, but I didn't, so it doesn't." (Apologies to Alli for the R word.) I'd like to see James Franco and Frances McDormand win, as James Franco was great in Pineapple Express and Frances McDormand is ever fabulous. Tom Cruise and Robery Downey Jr. were equally hilarious in Tropic Thunder but who among us isn't rooting for the late Mr. Ledger? And Batman needs props for something.
Let me tell you already got robbed, nomination-wise: Henry Ian Cusick for his brilliant, brilliant portrayl of Desmond on Lost. And hands down, the Golden Globe for best beginning in a movie should go to The Happening for the chopstick in the neck. I don't even care that this isn't a category, this scene just needs to get its proper recognition for awesomeness.
I'm interested to know what it really smells like, but I'd never buy something for $30 that was immortalized on screen as smelling like "a turd covered in burning hair."
Leading into this week's sepisode, one thing I always wonder when watching these shows--they have to edit it in those long pauses to make it seem more awkward and dramatic, right? Like I picture the editors splicing in extra footage to make those long, drawn-out pauses. Only sometimes they just make them seem like their idiots rather then adding to the drama.
I really like Erin. She seems so down-to-earth. I sort of feel like in this show, she's become like Whitney was in Hills and Whitney is like Lauren--advice giver to advice givee. She's way better at Olivia then giving it. Apparently Olivia is under the impression she is Whitney's Yoda. Can a soliciate adopt a non-debutante? Had I have known this I would've looked up a deb in L.A. I loved her lecture to Whitney on the importance of being an independent woman; I couldn't help but notice several cuts to a random co-worker looking over her shoulder during it. I really wanted to hear what she was thinking. In my head, it was, Jesus Christ, Olivia, shut up. And this Nevan person is ridiculous.
Honestly, I'm glad to have this between seasons of The Hills, which was starting to irk me because as we've groused before as of late it's been about anybody but Lauren. What would really make my life is a split-show of the two, you know? Like half of each segment about Lauren in L.A. and the other half on the other coast about Whitney. I'm way over Heidi and Audrina. Is MTV hiring? I think they need my expertise...
In conclusion, Whitney's legs are sa-lammin'.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
That having all been said, I finally watched the first two episodes of The City and I am in love. Much like The Hills (what would our show be called? The Plains?) it made me a bit nostalgic for my time in L.A. The excitement of living in a big glam city that can swallow you whole...By the way, at the risk of sounding like a total idiot which luckily has never stopped me before, does anyone else ever mentally picture their location and who they're with popping up on an imaginary screen from watching these shows so much? Like the other day I met my friend Angela from work for lunch, and in my head "Punch Pizza, Highland Area" flashed across, followed by "Alison," "Angela, Alison's co-worker" and "Matt, Angela's friend."
I found the credits a bit odd, only in that they showed pre-filmed close-ups of everybody. And the whole thing left me with some questions, like who the hell is this Erin person? I quite enjoy her, by the way. And I couldn't help but notice the bright nail polish--orange, yellow, white--being a contrast to Lauren's perma-black nails. Is this a nail polish symbolism? I also enjoyed the way the phrase "art dealer" was featured so prominently in The Dinner Party (is this the kind of thing we're supposed to be throwing at our age?). I was highly entertained by the second episode, especially by Alex going out of his way to point out he hates being "that guy" then proceeds to spend the rest of his airtime being "that guy". And curse words were flying! The icing on the whole cake was Kelly Cutron's confusion/apparent disgust over Olivia having a job. Oh, I laughed. I would love a little Kelly being judgemental snippet every episode. It's official. I'm going to rock this show hardcore. In "Alison and Mick's apartment, St. Paul."
Oh yeah, and happy new year.
In Eggtown, when we first learn that Kate is Aaron's new ma, at the end she's talking to Jack and she tells him she knows why he doesn't want to accept Aaron as her son. Wait! But I don't know why! Does she know that Claire is Jack's half-sister thus Aaron is Jack's half-nephew? It appears Aaron has aged since they first return from the island when Jack finds out at his father's memorial. But did he ever tell Kate? And if Aaron is aging this rapidly how much time has passed on the island? Then I rememberd two key things: 1, time does seem to be a bit of an issue on the island and for all we know one normal year is 3 island months; and 2, this show doesn't need to make sense. That's not why I watch it. I watch it to curse the heavens over the entire debacle and still obsess over it at the end of the day. I guess that's my constant.
Granted, admittedly I'm "over" the show. I mean, cycles 9 and 10 suuuucked. We all remember how the judges evilly punked us when the top 3 were Jennah, who rocked; Chantal, the blonde who couldn't model her way out of a paper bag which everyone admitted as much; and Saleisha the suck up. And who made it? Not Jennah! And who won? Saleisah the suck up, natch. Last time I checked being able to cry on cue was not a criteria for Top Model. I should know, I have a subscription to Vogue.
Then there was cycle 10, in which they apparently decided it was time for a plus-size model to win. Now, I am all for plus-size models (though frankly if they are plus-size I would probably be considered a morbidly obese model) and I agree one should win...IF she was good enough. But let's face it, that ship sailed in cycle 3 after Tocarra got the boot. She's been hands-down the only good plus-size model. But instead we got Whitney, the over-the-top blonde, who was clearly not as good as her other competition, Anya the anti-plus size model.
So, fine. Fixed modeling competetions. I didn't watch cycle 11 at all (though I did get updates from Wendell, the hilarious gay host at work, who kept me in the know on all things tranny model and who I also like to mimic the Tyra Banks "Smile with your eyes" routine with, you know the one--they do it every season). I couldn't tape it because we still rock the VCR and I already had to tape Project Runway while I was at work. And I suppose I could have taped/watched the Sunday re-runs of ANTM. But quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered. Anyway I already knew I would cave in and watch when they did the all day marathon of it on cable, when I could watch it the way it's best watched--holed up on the couch, looking like hell and eating junk food all the while...
Ah, hello, where's my cycle 11 marathon?
Stale, MTV/Vh1. I frown at you with eyes!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Lost Premiere Fires Up One Trippy New SeasonDec 30, 2008 01:25 PM
by Matt Mitovich
Lost's Sayid and Hurley find big trouble.
The first seasons' flashbacks now seem utterly quaint. And the more recent flash-forwards? Relatively simple. As promised, previewed and teased by the producers of Lost ever since Season 4 came to a close, the next cycle of episodes introduce a new storytelling "device" of sorts that might make you want to keep a notepad and pen next to your TV remote.
But enough about that. No, really — that's enough. I can't say more, given the confidentiality request that prefaced the first two Season 5 episodes made available to the press.
Instead, I will simply note that the episodes "Because You Left" and "The Lie" offer compelling twists for both the half-dozen "survivors" of Oceanic flight 815 as well as those who are still on the island (wherever it may be).
The first hour is the stronger of the two, as it sends the mind reeling and uncorks infinite possibilities. Picking up soon after the events of the season finale, "Because You Left" reiterates Ben's claim that Jack et al must return to the island to make things "right" (as Michael Emerson shares in this video, there's a "scientific need" for that reunion to happen), then lets slip a bit of insight — from the perspective of those left behind — as to where the island moved. Alas, just as they figure it out....
Next up, "The Lie" revolves around a major predicament for one of the Oceanic 6, setting the stage for a twist that significantly staggers Ben's plan to "get the band back together." Meanwhile, Sawyer, Juliet and the others are subject to old island problems, new revelations and surprise saviors, with the showstopper being one of Lost's most electric and intense action scenes ever.
Familiar faces return. New faces create new problems ... or perhaps offer solutions (hello, Fionnula Flanagan!). People die. All told, the foundation is laid for a pivotal penultimate season.
Before I go, a few more teasers to whet your whistle until the new season arrives Wednesday, Jan. 21.
• Within the first minutes, Daniel Faraday turns up in a most unexpected place.
• Jack shaves his strife beard ... in the premiere's second such shaving scene. (And no, you'll never guess the first familiar face to take razor in hand.)
• There's "another" plane crash.
• Someone gets a nosebleed. (Uh-oh.)
• Kate is haunted by a decision she made.
• As previously spoiled, a dead gal briefly resurfaces — in a somewhat surprising (and somewhat ironic) capacity.
• Did someone order a big helping of frogurt...?
• Every theory I have read about how Desmond might remain in the mix, even though he and Penny were free and clear at the end of the season finale? No one got it right.
• Someone dares call Sawyer an "inbred." That can't end well. And it doesn't.
• Speaking of Sawyer, he remains shirtless for the entire first hour plus the first eight minutes of the second episode. (ABC, you owe me big time for spreading the word on that.)