Saturday, January 31, 2009

And the home of the idiots.

Well, after finally watching the whole episode of this week's Real World and weighing my options, the results are finally in for...D-Bag Of The Week!

Firstly, the runner-up is Chet. Let's talk about Chet for a moment, shall we? Like how in the opening credits montage which is mainly black and white with pops of color, we see Chet apparently scoring a girl's number...while wearing a pink scarf. Don't get Chet wrong, he loves the ladies. At a night out with his roommate's, he runs into Alex, a girl he pines for that he met since she's friend of roommate Scott (I really enjoyed how roommate Baya said it was fate they ran into each other again--yeah, seeing as how fate totally means when your roommate's friend shows up at the same public function). At this point he makes the brilliant statement, "She's a model, and I really appreciate that." Really, Chet? I bet you're the only one! I mean, traditionally when dudes meet models they could care less! But not you, Mr. Pink Scarf! He also uses creepy phrases like "get the chance to know her intimately." Even though, at the end, as roommate Ryan points out, since she's not a mormon and he's a virgin no one's gettin' anywhere. I'm not even going to touch the part where he tries to explain to Sarah, a victim of sexual abuse, the importance of forgiving and moving on.

Now, who could top all that? Why, the winner of the week: Devyn! Oh, Devyn. Where to start with you? Devyn won two pagents so of course she wants to break into TV and film, so she'll probably move to L.A. eventually since in New York you get "suckered into Broadway." What a splendid way to put it! How many Broadways stars have cursed the day they were tricked into their roles! Of course that doesn't stop her from getting a casting agent's info from her cousin (who apparently was suckered into being in the stage version of The Color Purple). And what does she sing at this audition that she is 45 minutes late for since she accidentally went to New Jersey first? The National Anthem! Who sings the National Anthem for a casting agent? Apparently the same person who freaks out when a transgender person invites her on stage to sing with her and she then completely freaks out because she hasn't had a chance to warm up. Girl, please! I've met theater people and they don't even wait for the invitation to perform to finish coming out of your mouth before they've whipped out their tap shoes and the words to "Give my regards to Broadway."

But don't cry for Devyn, cause she's not just some girl off the street, oh no! She is going to make it! Because she went to college! She has a resume! Heads up, Dev. Take a long look at me, sweetie. Then go run this plate to table 75.

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