If you know me, you know that I love a good bad movie. I was obsessed with Disturbing Behavior for awhile ("Self-mutilate THIS, fluid boy!") and I contend that a DVD of the cable TV version of Showgirls should be released so I can enjoy the fabulous acting and storyline without all that pesky nudity and sex (and come on, drawn-on cartoon bras? sign me up!). My latest fav was the awesome One Missed Call which hooks you in with its very plot: you miss a call! It's not your ringtone! You have a voicemail! It's you, dying! then: You, die! Genius. And now it is joined by the movie I just witnessed: I Know Who Killed Me.
Oh my god! Where to start?! The convoluted plot that actually drew me in and had me trying to figure it out! (I was pretty sure I had it down; god bless Wikipedia's specific plot summaries that confirmed I was right.) The eventual use of the title as an actual line of dialouge! Lindsay Lohan's horrible exotic dancing! The fake hand that fits over the fake robotic hand that responds to your nerve impulses! The crowd at the football game taking a moment of silence for the young girl's mutilated and dead body that was found, followed by the announcer yelling they will win this won for her! The idiot boyfriend asking the FBI for condoms! Clearly I could go on all day. But I will instead leave you with these 3 quotes:
1. "People get cut." Lindsay as Dakota Moss.
2. "Is that all I am to you? A way to relax before the game?" Lindsay as Aubrey Flemming to her boyfriend after he feels up her leg during science lab.
3. "I used to have stigmata. Took robotussin, cleared it right up!" Mick as Mick.