Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I'm gonna say it...

I caught The Cosby Show tonight and I realized that I miss that show. I still find it funny and heartwarming. I also miss those crazy sweaters and the out of control fashions from the whole cast. I always wanted to look like Lisa Bonet. Who can blame me?

How cute is that?

Zooey Deschanel, who I love, is engaged to Ben Gibbard from Death Cab and Postal Service. This is flat-out adorable in my book. I mean, she dabbles in music on the side--well, may I add (though I still need to get that darn She & Him CD) and has quirky taste in her movie roles. (Though she was a bit odd in The Happening. Who knew her eyes could get that wide whenever her cellie rang?)
Although apparently some newsfeeds got it mixed up and reported she was instead engaged to the bass player from AFI. Which would frankly be ridiculous and stupid. It makes much more sense that she would be engaged to an indie rocker. Thumbs up, ZooBen! (That would be their celeb generated nickname, right?)

Interactive Gilmore quotes!

"He'll make me eat a veggie burger!" -Lorali in response to Rory's suggestion she try to crash at Luke's post-Inn Fire.
"I'd sleep outside before I ate a veggie burger." Mick in response to that.

Monday, December 29, 2008

First time in the City LIVE BLOG

Initial thoughts on the first few minutes of the city AS I WATCH IT-

Whitney describes her gentleman friend as EVERYTHING she should stay away from- young, good looking and not used to being with one girl. So- hopefully this season we can find her an old, ugly dude who either has a girlfriend/wife or has never had a girlfriend. Good luck Whit!

Olivia- really? We couldn't even pretend for a minute that she is a pleasant person? Who introduces themselves by talking about a dinner party that you aren't invited to? Yeah. No one.

Flashing Lights

Part 1:

I'm blogging as I watch 'The City' and so far it's alright. I laughed so hard when they show Whitney walking up to DVF and the random dude patted his friend on the back when she walked by. I have to admit that when I first heard that the spin-off would be about Whitney, I wondered if she could carry a show, but all the press leading up to it has made me pretty ok with it. I like that they chose someone similar to Lauren in terms of normalcy.

I'm actually very jealous of Whitney. What more could you ask for at her age than an awesome job, an awesome city, and a very aussie-omely (nice right?) hot boy. Jay got a tish less hot when he said, "I just do whatever I want." Not such an attractive quality. I watched My So Called Life and I know how that story pans out.

I'm wondering what Olivia's deal is. I was confused by the fact that she's a "socialite" but has a job. I thought the point of being a socialite was that you partied with other people's money and don't work...I can already smell a worthless friendship brewing but this one may lead to more contacts than a certain other worthless friend.

Part 2:

Ok the second half hour so far is all about if Jay is playing Whitney. At first I thought we had another JB on our hands, but really they haven't known one another very long and it's not really that big of a deal to date more than one person, as long as that other person is the other's best pal.

I totally don't blame Alex for trying to get into Whit's ear. If I lost a totally hot girl like her, I'd also go down swinging. Isn't it weird that he put a mike on for all his gossiping and also for the argument with Jay? I'm glad Kelly Cutrone will be on occasionally to give advice to Whitney and also to pass judgement on the people on the show.

Final thoughts: I love Whitney and her current roommate (her name escapes me)and that's pretty much it. It seems like she's left the city of teen stars for the city of twenty-somethings who are very worried about their labels (according to where they live). I'm excited to see how this pans out BUT I can't wait for the next season of Hills. I hate strangers.

Don't be a Bromophobe

Blame it on "a case of the Mondays" but I just watched the majority of Brody Jenner's Bromance. I was immediately calmed by the fact that Frankie was still there- I know you were as worried about his status in the bro-clique as I was when I heard Brody was on the hunt for a new bro.

So- a few quick notes on the new brow (that rhymes with show but starts with a bro).

There was a gay guy who was clearly on the show to soak in the lingering aroma of Lauren Conrad that apparently still clings to Brody. His name was michael and he was really upset when he found out he was NOT on an episode of the Hills- and he made it very clear that this was his issue. At his exit he put in the final plug, with double fingers crossed, for Brody and Lauren to get back together. He also threw in that he didn't want to sit around "talking all day about having sex with girls." After he left all the boys jumped into the hot tub together for a straightforward elimination (hey guys- Brody doesn't pussyfoot around). Too bad the gay guy couldn't have stuck it out for a few more hours!!

As we could have anticipated, here is the initial list of the variations of Bromance that have been thrown around:

I am sure the list will only grow.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

I don't get it...

As my pen name suggests, I enjoy makeup. I have a whole pot of black glitter and was wondering what else I could do with it so naturally I you tubed black glitter to get some ideas...what I found was this:

I seriously don't get it. Is this a fetish thing or an artistic statement?

Also, after I typed in the words 'pen name' I googled it and came across this pen name generator. Mine was Ella Mentry. Genius and stupid at the same time.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Oi with the ho ho ho!

OK, so, we were watching Gilmore Girls and now we're watching Fred Claus and figured somethin' out: Vince Vaughn is a fast talker. The Gilmore girls are fast talkers. Will Rory's real dad please step forward?

Seriously, if Vince, Rory, and Lorali all hung out together, mad hijinx would ensue.
Think about it.

Alli Wolverine

I can't wait!!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

2008, don't hate

Well, the end of the year is upon us, which means everyone is doing their year in review. Year in review of music! Year in review of movies! Person of the year! Funniest commercials of the year! (I'm pretty sure Kevin Nealon made a deal with the devil to land this gig.) Top ten this! Horrible that! Well, now that we have a blog, best believe I'm going to weigh in too. And I'm going to do it the best way I know how. And so, without further ado, I give you...

10 Things I learned from The Hills this year!
1. If you want less airtime on your own show, surround yourself with idiots who will fill the 30 minutes for you.
2. When you get tired of being unwed, take your intended to a foreign country and pump them full of said country's signature hard liquor.
3. If you're someone's sister and you want your time on air to make you look good, have lots of colorful tattoos and master the art of giving advice purely through your facial expressions. Otherwise your segments just come off as killing time, thus negating the meaningfullness of your one shining moment in the very last episode of the season.
4. Boys like to insist girls are always getting in each other's ears, but get them in a hot tub with baseball caps and watch the gossip fly!
5. Even the douchiest of douchebags still loves His Nana.
6. If things get too awkward while trying to have a conversation with your best frenemy, ask if they've been working out during a lull. If they deny this, continue to insist that they have.
7. When you're trying to say something simple, instead make it as flowery and rambling as possible and try to make yourself sound really philosophical while all the while your on again/off again significant other falls for every bullshiz word of it. And while you're at it, wear overalls.
8. Where's your black? Everyone else is wearing their black!
9. If your boss makes it clear that he thinks your significant other is an asshole, don't expect a wedding gift when you announce your Secret Mexican Marriage.
10. When you realize you're surrounded by vapid idiots (except for the one other non-idiot who is busy not getting air-time on her own show), get yourself a new job and a hottie foreign rocker on the other side of the country. Somebody has to get the glory in between seasons!

Worst Christmas EVER

Let me tell you why this was The Worst Christmas Ever: because for the life of me, I could not find "The Powerpuff Girls Twas the Fight Before Christmas" anywhere on TV. Sure, I coulda Netflixed it like Kate did for us the first time we saw it. But every other year after that the damn thing was on TV! Hell, I watched it like, 5 times one year in L.A.! So thumbs down to you, Cartoon Network. Way to give Johnny Bravo precious Christmas cartoon airtime whilst denying Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Coal all around!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Oy! With the flower child already.

Seriously Whit? I know you're the fashionista and I am not, but does this really seem appropriate for the night Lauren passes the torch to you? This is really more appropriate for a themed photo shoot or something. I can't handle it.

On another note, Lauren looked bomb. Lady looks like she has been working out a lot.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Have you been working out a lot?

'Twas the Hills finale tonight and I'd originally planned not to blog as I feel I've been quite repetitive with my thoughts about the kids but I just couldn't keep my feelings to myself.

It was the night of redemption it seemed. JB, Spencer, and Heidi all had very nice moments on the show where I didn't feel like I wanted to punch them in the face.

I'll start with JB and 'dude'. Oh, it's Audrina? Weird cause all I ever hear Justin call her is dude until tonight, when we got one 'Audrina' from him. The happy couple took off to have a romantic weekend. I could not help laughing at JB shirtless in overalls on that motorcycle. So ridiculous. Anyway, he was very sweet in their little ring moment and it seems like maybe he's not just the king of ridiculous one liners after all.

Now Heidi. Was I the only one who shuddered when Lauren hugged her? I just feel like she's such a tool but I actually really appreciated her teary moment cause I felt like she was a human for a second. Also, when she asked Lauren if she'd been working out it was hilarious and again felt like a real conversation between friends and not a scripted dramatic moment.

Now surprisingly, Spencer also had a human resemblance tonight as well. The big cliff-hanger (which I myself could care less about) was that big S decided to let Heidi get married with her mom there. Now once again, I feel like a lot of their story line on the show is scripted to add drama but his little speech at the end was nice and his face looked truthful so that's that.

Now there wasn't much of Lauren tonight (which isn't a huge surprise) but she looked awesome at the party and really showed how stand up she is when she gave Heidi the (horrifying) hug.

And in minor redemption news: The aftershow was also not as irritating as usual (I totally missed the Justin interview so I'll be you tubing that later). Glad to hear that there's a new season of Hills coming our way eventually and really am excited for the season premiere of The City.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Secret Mexican Wedding- The DVR Edition

Per usual, I am late on the TV watching. Just saw Speidi's Secret Mexican Wedding. I know it is really not the point, but I am confused and distracted by the logistics of the wedding. Here is a short list of the things that bothered me:
- Heidi walks up to Spencer on the patio with 4 inch heels, a tiny bikini, champagne and meticulously curled, tousled, styled hair. How did she find time to bring her hair guy down when it was made so clear that the trip was a surprise??
- They are drinking Patron and Spencer convinces Heidi to get married- it is nighttime and dark out. They stumble out of the bar on their way to get married (does this resort have a 24-hour chapel?).
- Cut to the next morning when they are in bed and insinuating that they got married the night before. But they show the footage of their daytime wedding. Did I miss something?
- Again Heidi has the perfect FHM photo spread hair. Come on- Lauren's hair usually looks like something she could have quickly pulled together herself. They are NOT helping the "reality" aspect of the show. I would believe that everything was real if Spencer and Heidi were not on the show.

So- I was annoyed. And did Spencer really think it would fly to not tell anyone they are married? Has he met Heidi?

Side note- saddest part of the show was seeing the little glimmer of the pre-brainwashed Heidi when they were drinking before the whole secret wedding suggestion. She was silly, smiling, having fun and not being dramatic. It was awesome to see that- and then it slipped away so quickly. Sorry Whit- I'm gonna miss you, but you will only be gone for a week. But I haven't seen the old Heidi in over a year.

Wow. Did I really just write a paragraph on missing the "old Heidi"? Yes. Yes I did.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Citizens arrest!

Ahem. After being severely chastised by Kate for my South Dakota dissing and mildly chastised by her dad, I have to say, I think the Bates family may have secretly engineered this just to make their Dakota look cooler. I would way, way rather have Vinnie Jones (Garfield movie or not) punch someone in a bar to represent my Dakota as opposed to Cisco Adler punching someone in a bar in Fargo. Sigh.

Your creepy differs from mine

A DJ on The Current was talking about how you shouldn't watch this video because it's creepy and after she played the song she said her friend sent her an e-mail saying the video got 100 hits based off what she said; sadly I was in the car driving at the time and was not one of the 100. So I had to wait until now and while it's creepy it's creepy in an artistic way and I liked it. And I actually really enjoy the song too. I do love a good music video, and I never get the chance to see them anymore, I suppose because no one plays them. One day I will give The Current money. They've introduced me to some good stuff. And on a side note I don't like the new Killers CD which is so disappointing because the first one was really good and the second one was really awesome...Sigh.

Anyway, without further ado, Ladytron.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Perez is my favorite

As I was scrolling through my favorite pink website I ran across this little Gem (even if you don't enjoy Britney you can't deny the hilarity that is Ellen)

Also Kate check this shiz out:

Gilmore Girls Quote of My Day

Alright so most of this weekend I was trapped in my apt due to this hellacious thing we call winter and I've been rotating between movies and Gilmore Girls so expect far more of these posts:

"If I wanted to play pin-pong, I would... Well, if I wanted to play ping-pong, I would kill myself." -Emily Gilmore-

Second funniest Hills episode of the season

What is this magical power JustinBobby has over me? One minute I'm watching the show thinking, overalls? Seriously, Justin. Wannabe bikers don't rock denim overalls. And then he turns around and makes me laugh when his response to Steph's worry over Heidi and Spencer taking off with no visible trace of their whereabouts is, "Maybe you should put up some signs." His one line that episode--so classically timed. Punctuated perfectly by the sheer confusion on her face after he said it (you can almost hear the thought, "Hmm...like reward for lost dogs sign?" clunking around in her head).

If only she knew her brother was off inventing the phrase Secret Mexican Wedding. What woman doesn't love her proposal featuring the phrase Secret Mexican Wedding? Why bother with a chapel, what you really need is a Secret Mexican Clubhouse. Maybe you get married in a Secret Mexican Language...no, no, not Spanish. You know I don't speak Spanish, Baxter!

Quote of the day, dork edition

Alison is at work and comes up behind a customer with a coffee pot just as the woman is taking a drink.

Alison: I was just about to re-fill that for you.
Customer: I didn't even hear you come up behind me!
Alison: I'm like a ninja.

Monday, December 15, 2008

I'll show you what a second wife does

Oh so many things... Whitney's leaving, yes it's sad but not so much for us because we'll see her weekly so I'm not spending much time on her except to say, "what up with your wack-a-doo cindy loo who hair at your party, whit?!" Interesting that she once again called it "the city". We get it Mtv, The City starts December 29th at 9 pm central time.

Moving on. The wedding...oh lord I think I'll begin with the fact that we found out that Heidi was drunk when she and Spencer decided to get married in Cabo. I totally knew it. One tip to future brides, you want to be glowing on your big day and not feeling "totally hung over". Spencer's big convincing speech was about how he's "madly obsessed" (you don't say!) and how she makes him want to be nicer. If this is Spencer nice...I don' even know how to finish that sentence. So patron'd Heidi agrees to tell "no one" (except their close secret keeping friends at US Weekly). She ends the conversation with the ever so classy line, "I'll show you what a wife does." I was under the impression that wives put out less but hey maybe regular sex was in the vows.

Previews for next week show Spencer threatening Heidi's mom with being her son now and Lauren hugging Heidi. Both teasers make me want to puke equally.

I'm thinking that I should've tried out to be on Brody Jenner's Bromance (which also begins on Dec 29th, I got it Mtv cause I don't even want to know how you'd work that in) because maybe then I'd have been able to break into this circle of friend and tell them what up. And maybe I could borrow some clothes while I'm at it.

Gimore Girls Quote of My Day

Sookie: Okay, here we go. Low fat, whole wheat blueberry pancakes.
Michel: Are there 12?
Sookie: 12 what?
Michel: Blueberries. I can only have 12 blueberries for breakfast.
Sookie: Or what?
Michel: What do you mean, or what?
Sookie: What happens if you eat 13 blueberries?
Michel: This is a silly conversation.
Sookie: Would you die?
Michel: Just hand me the plate.
Sookie: Only if you don't count.
Michel: I won't count.
Sookie: Swear. Raise your right hand and say, 'May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries.'
Michel: Pick another group.
Sookie: Nope.
Michel: I hate you! Hate you!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just one question...

As I was watching Kanye West's performance on SNL last night I found myself wondering, why do people knock certain singers voices (like Miss Brit) but don't say a thing about rappers who sing (and are quite pitchy)? I really like Kanye and Love Lockdown, but it seems like a double standard.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Frosted Flake

Kate got me the first season of The Hills for my 25th birthday which of course I am now watching, and I have to ask myself...did I ever like Heidi? Brent Bolthouse has just informed her he hates drama. Oh, but if he had a crystal ball...
I had forgotten her stunning fashion school interview. And how when people are attempting to address her when she's excited about something she ignores them and bounces around like a four year old. And when she calls Lauren to tell her she got her dream job she doesn't realize how completely sarcastic Lauren is and rightly so (she gets a lunch hour! O.M.G., I don't even get one of those!). I could go on and on. I could film a running commentary!

Eh. I'll just eat cake instead.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Know it all Island Mover!

"Because destiny, John, is a fickle bitch."

So are you Ben/Henry, so are you.

Really? the Oscars edition

All right, I haven't decided if this is like our general "Please tell me this is a joke" really, really or more of an incredulous really, or I wouldn't have thought of such a thing really, or a hmmmm really, or a this could be a bold new move on your part The Academy but I'm suspicious til I see it play out really, you get the idea.

Hugh Jackman is going to host this year's Oscars.

Let's face it, I'm still championing David's Letterman's version of hosting. Hugh Jackman will never even come close to that. However I do have this great idea where Vinnie Jones does a "aren't we the dudes from X-Men?" bit...


Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh

It's your birthday!

Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh
It's your birthday!

It's your birthday

It's your birthday!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

An open letter to...Amanda Bynes

Dear Amanda Bynes,

According to the internet which is rarely known to lie, you are interested in Doug Reinhardt, who is not known for playing baseball but is known for being on The Hills. Have you seen him on The Hills? He's kind of a d-bag. You are far too cute to be dating a d-bag like him. I mean, you seem like someone I'd want to hang out with, whereas he seems like if someone who I'd end up wanting to punch in the small of his back which I imagine would hurt somewhat. So please, don't date Doug from The Hills. Hey, is Andy Samberg single? You should date him! He's hilarious!

Someone who thinks she sort of knows you based on the fact that she's seen What a Girl Wants about, oh, 35 times.

People sure like Slayer!

OK, so I was driving to the Farg Tuesday and saw a billboard with nothing on it, and some enterprising soul had managed to get up there and spray paint Slayer on it. Then today I was driving behind a truck who had painted the Slayer logo on their back end. Frankly it kind of made me wish we still had Mick's truck so I could paint some band logo on the back of it. Maybe even Slayer!

The point is, people sure do like painting Slayer on things.
That's all!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A shot that leads you to needing a shot, or to be shot

OK, so Alli and I had a sleepover last nite that included watching 2 episodes of season 4 of Lost which re-brought up so very many, many questions. Before we delved into that life ruining past time of ours, however, we ended up watching...A Double Shot at Love. With...The Ikki Twins. What, one may ask, are Ikki Twins? Well, apparently they're blond bisexual twins who decided they should team up and do the whole house full of straight guys and lesbians competeing for their pure, pure love just like Tila Tequila did. I never did remember to catch either of old Tila's seasons. Catching this season premiere reaffirmed why I didn't try harder to remember. I could only sit through such a monstrousity to giggle at it with Alli. It included the lesbians dressing up like sexy animals (?) and the douchebag, douchebag straighty boys who all look like Abercrombie and Bitches and have made up jobs like Party Promoter. (Hey, come to a party! My hair suuucks!) Of course to add a fun twist Vikki and Rikki Ikki didn't reveal at first that they were twins and instead switched off places to fool everyone. Oh, the deceit! The treachery! They finally reveal their secret at the end of the show. Of course first Ikki or other Ikki tried to be all dramatic about it and keep repeating, "I have a secret" and then the awesome "I was born with another part" which led everyone to speculate that she either had 3 nipples or was a man (as Alli pointed out, no way was there room to pack heat in her skanky bikini bottom). It also led to quote #1 of the evening, when immediately after her statement of having another part, a blond Blayne from Project Runway look-a-like said in apparently distress or panicky shame, "I kissed her last night!" Quote #2 went to the last lesbian eliminated from the evening, who responded to Ikki or Other Ikki's statement of just not feeling a click with the flippant response of "That must be because I'm straight." Leading Alli and I to laugh and Ikki or Other Ikki to tear up. Apparently Fame Whore Straighty Girl was infringing on Ikkis' quests for true loves. Go figure.

Actually typing about this makes me feel like I need to shower away the shame remembering one Ikki watch the other Ikki make out with the contestants or whatever they are and looking way too interested. Although what else can I expect from bisexual twins looking for love in all the MTV places? Yeah, time for a shower. A scalding one.

Congrats Mayor Kelly!

Reed Kelly, Clay Aiken's boyfriend, is in deed the son of past Saint Paul Mayor Randy Kelly. Thank you to Molly for her research in finding the official Randy Kelly bio that tied up all my loose ends.

Randy- you may have lost the election of Mayor of a democratic city to a more democratic democrat than you, but HEY! Your son is the first post-coming-out boyfriend of Mr. Clay Aiken!! I hope Saint Paul is proud- I sure am!

I smell a made for tv movie....

(p.s. I realize this may sound sarcastic but I do intend it to be sincere)
(p.p.s. I am mostly excited that Saint Paul jr. is on Broadway! Go Reed!)

Monday, December 8, 2008

Oh nothing, just my first cell phone

"I'm just ready to go to the city"
Nice plug Whitney...if ever we were to wonder if the show was scripted it would've been in that line. I can't say that I wouldn't say a scripted line or two if a hot Australian and a new fabulous job was waiting for me in a great city. This week was pretty tame,and you could really feel the winding down of the season. There was a weird scene with Audrina where we find out (surpise surprise) that she still wants to be with JB. And a weird scene where Spencer was being "protective" over his sister (read: verbal punching bag).
I enjoyed seeing a ton more of Lauren tonight though. Is it totally lame that I was a little sad about Laurens parents moving out of that gorgeous house we saw them build in season one of Laguna? Sometimes growing up sucks...alright most of the time.

We all got one

Lauren, I love you but girlfriend what up?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Our bodies touch and the angels cry

I try to catch SNL as often as possible and despite there being a ton of new cast members this year, it's been a pretty funny season so far. One of the highlights of each episode is always the digital short with Andy Samberg and last night was no exception. Check it out but be warned it's pg-13...watch for the janitor.

What up with all the celeb appearances this season?

Fight!: The UK meets the SD edition.

Vinnie Jones, a British actor who was in such films as Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels and Snatch, was arrested on Thursday for getting in a bar fight.

Now, such a factoid on its own may not have been noteworthy, and certainly not even something I would bring up here though I do enjoy those two films very much. No, what makes this particularly entertaining is the following two pieces of related information:

1. The fight started partially because a bar patron asked Jones if he was "that guy from X-Men." This apparently did not makes Jones happy...despite the fact that he is, in fact, in X-Men.
2. The fight took place in Wiley's Tavern in...Sioux Falls, S.D. Apparently he was on vacation. Though his manager, when commenting, didn't know why he was in Sioux Falls. South Dakota.

Apologies all 'round to any Bateses in the house, but as someone proudly hailing from North Dakota, I think South Dakota is ridiculous. Why a British actor was vacationing there is quite over my head. Why he got annoyed at being recognized as being from a film he is actually from is equally over my head. Now, if dude would have asked, "Hey, weren't you the voice of Rommel in Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties?" THAT would have been call to throw a punch.

Though as it turns out, he was the voice of Rommel in Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties.

With thanks to MSNBC and IMDB for providing me info to bring you this breaking news.

Friday, December 5, 2008

A day off leads to multiple posts

I will be the first to admit that I can have a very simple sense of humor. I will laugh and laugh at things from the couch as Mick sits in a chair and gives me his best "Where did it all go wrong with you?" look. That having been said, I love David Letterman. I used to watch every night when Jawa and I lived at the lake cabin, and last year when I had to go bed early for work I would listen to it on the radio (it never came in reception wise on my tiny TV). I watched it last night after having not seen it forever, and learned the fun fact that back in the day, Jesus Christ used to rock a bracelet that said "What would I do?"

Now, back to the beginning of the post and my simple sense of humor--my absolute favorite part of the show back in the day, and I haven't seen them do this for awhile, was a segment called "Will it float?" The premise is simple, yet genius: Dave says, "And now it's time to play Will it float?" and then Paul and the guys plays the theme song. Dave asks the announcer Alan what the item of the night is, and Alan responds. Dave usually asks some questions, like what is the item packaged in? then asks what they're playing for, and Alan responds with some sort of sweet prize which of course no one actually wins. Then Dave and Paul discuss if they think it will float, and the curtain is pulled back to reveal a large tank of water, the 2 Will it float? girls bedecking it, Hula Girl, and Grinder Girl. Then they would put the item in the water, we would wait to see what happens, and the results would flash on the screen. How can this not be completely awesome? Thanks to the magic of YouTube I was able to revisit some of these feats of wonder. If you, too, find joy in the simple and scientific, watch the following to answer the burning question as related to coal and a glass brick--Will they float?

Careful there, Britney!

I'll yell it from the rooftops that I'm from Fargo, but when it comes to claiming our fair city's newspaper, The Fargo Forum, pass. Big pass. Apparently it was Pulitzer Prize winning at some point, a point that must have been quite awhile ago because for as long as I remember, the writing has been pretty weak (though oddly it produced rock writer darling Chuck Klosterman, which should maybe give me some sort of vague hope). This article that Alli tipped me off to is a prime example: "In her 27th year, will Britney die?" Apparently since a host of other music icons haven't made it past 27 (which I personally didn't think was THAT bad of an age) and she just turned 27 and has been having some issues, the author is attempting to put 2 and 2 together. But it's not making 4, or 27, or anything close to it. I'm not a Britney fan but I do admit to her importance in music; however, I don't hear her name and immediatly think of Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, or anyone else on the magical list of Dead at 27 (which, oddly, is fairly extensive). The author's reasoning is pretty weak, not to mention poorly written. He didn't even bother to make the obvious connection to musician Robert Johnson, a blues musician who died at 27 and is the center of the myth involving the word "Crossroads", which also happens to be the name of a movie Britney was in! See, THAT is good investigative reporting. Fork it over, Pulitzer committee!

Strike a pose, not a nerve, please

I heart Vogue magazine. You wouldn't know it to look at me, messy hair and worn-in jeans I constantly tug at the waist on cause I can't get a good fit down and all, but I do love it. I eat it up every month since heck yes I subscribe, to Elle also. The upside of this is I generally like the majority of at least one of the two mags a month, and they're hella expensive to buy on the news stand; the downside of this is that if you don't necessarily care for the cover subject, you're a bit out of luck. Elle screwed me two times in a row with Jessica Simpson then Mariah Carey. Vogue is usually fairly reliable, although I don't get the Kate Hudson obsession. What threw me for a loop is when they put Jennifer Aniston on this last cover. I don't necessarily not like her; she's just not my fav. What really perturbed me is that they put this quote of hers on the cover: "What Angelina did was really uncool." Wha? Vogue, come on. When I want to read things like that, I pick up Us or InTouch or Okay or one of the millions of other options for celeb gossip. It was odd enough you put her on the cover (she doesn't really scream fashion iconish to me). Apparently Ms. Aniston was a bit thrown off too, as MSN's own gossipy section has her as saying, "I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid. I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next." I haven't read the article and really didn't plan on it so I don't know how the quote came about, but putting it on the cover to up your sales when the rest of your magazine content has nothing to do with such a thing? Pretty uncool, Vogue.

Really? The ABC whore out edition

So apparently The Bachelor is coming back for another season. One may think that this post is to say, Really? that show is still on? really? But!

Oh no, there's more. I guess we need a new twist to keep the masses interested. Hmm, let's see, what can we do...wait a minute! We haven't played the child exploitation card yet! Score!

Nice, ABC. Not only have you found another single idiot to parade around in front of a horde of single idiot females, let's drag dude's kid into it. Father of the year right here, people! Will anyone be surprised when this kid eventually ends up in rehab?

So this one's for The Bachelor: throwing a young child into an already ridiculous mix. Really, ABC? Really?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


So, the good news is, the b.f. found a good Lost post on his fav geek web-site with a link to another article about it. The BAD news is...it sounds like my favorite couple ever are in for more bumps!

Save Des and Penny, brotha! You're the writers--you CAN change it!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It's like 400,086 newborn puppies

"This is like, better than 20 million Christmastimes."

-Crazy Stalker BFF (see below) on getting a massage next to Paris getting a massage (they were best friend massages according to crazy- I think they are actually called COUPLES massages)

BFF Forever

Paris Hilton is a good actress, y'all.

I avoided watching her show until about 9:15 tonight where I caught the last 3/4s of the finale. I was chopping pineapple and, well, you see where this is going.

So after my pineapple was cut and my lunch was packed, I was invested. It was a totally hard decision for Paris since this person is genuinely going to be her BFF- and the last F stands for FOREVER so she better make a good decision. Her two options were crazy girl who was stalkerishly obsessed with her and a very PG lookin Kat Von D who stalker said was just there to be a rock star. Seriously she didn't REALLY want to be friends with Paris she was just there for herself and her gains and she doesn't love Paris, truly love her, like crazy stalker does. Crazy stalker really thinks she has a real connection with Paris, from the first time they met at Le Deux. She could just tell from across the club there was something between them. Cuz based on the amount of "I love yous" flying around, I think Paris proposes at the end.

Everytime crazy stalker addresses the camera she sobs. After watching her for 45 minutes i am terrified. Plus she is from Alaska- I think we all remember what happens when we pick a chick from alaska to come along.

In the end the other one wins and took the rose, or whatever. CS sobbed about how boring life will be without paris and that paris will ALWAYS be her best friend. right. paris is definitely going to call you next time she goes to old navy.

But the REAL bestie is in like flynn (flin?) for the next three weeks until paris starts filming My New BFF: Micronesia.

Alison- she could totally be our BFF too- she is on our same shower schedule!


Respect the Nana!

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with my colleague Alli on this one: The Hills this week was Hil-larious. (See what I did there?) Nana Pratt was the star of the show. I always love hearing what people call their grandparents and hearing a d-bag like Spencer use the word Nana repeatedly made me giggle. And there's nothing quite like someone who has so far proved himself to be deplorable as a human being walking around telling his sister she needs to make peace with her Nana. The scene where they share lemonade and cookies as Spencer attempts to sell his sister out to their own grandmother while his Mexican Wedding Wife pouts in the background, chiming in occasionally to kiss up--genius. Quote of the week for me hands down goes to Nana: "Life is like a bucket of worms, you don't know what to do with it." I don't even know what that means but it sounded pretty awesome. I mean, if someone gave me a bucket of worms, I would certainly be clueless as to what to do with it--wait! Just like I don't know what to do with my life! NOW I get it! Thanks, Nana Pratt! Pass the lemonade please, Fake Margarita Mrs.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Why are you banging Justin?

Blah! I just finished watching the Hills and once again I've come away with strong distaste for Spencer and a yearning for more Lauren. Hopefully some shiz blows up soon because there's only a few weeks left 'til the City takes its place. Maybe, Alison, this is why Heidi and Spencer married and why it may not be legal.

I have to say that the best and probably only good part of the show was when Audrina and LC met to talk about the whole JB drama triangle. After the main discussion, Audrina admits that she's had some trust issues and that she feels like she's lost herself a little bit. Girl we've all been there and I found myself feeling some compassion for Audrina big boobs.

And that's it. Those few sentences sum up almost the entire episode (Nana Pratt excluded but frankly who cares cause she likes Spence). Come on Hills cast! Your lives are starting to be as normal and mundane as my own...I mean with the addition of Louboutins and Chanel.

Welcome all Who's Far and Near

Christmas is upon us and usually I am not one to start the countdown (as I hate winter) but I put up my tree today...

....and for the rest of the day I've had this song in my head:

It's pretty undeniable.