Thursday, December 31, 2009

If you could invite any person to dinner...

The 600th post and I could not think of anything I'd rather post about for this occasion. I was looking through my current US weekly today and I found this glorious picture. I looked for a better picture online but apparently no one else has one...

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Reverend Strikes Again!

When we were in college and our school put on The Laramie Project, the fax machines were one day suddenly gifted with fliers reminding us that "God hates fags" and just in case we were planning on forgetting, the Reverend Fred Phelps would be sending some dumbasses to protest and remind us when the play opened (don't worry, they sent about 10 and the campus/town trumped them big time). Well, apparently the Reverend is still in the protesting business and has set his sights on...Lady Gaga! Maybe it's because it sounds so darn catchy ("God hates Gaga" is, after all, alliteration) or maybe he realized rather than focus on gay people as a whole he should target specific people. If you want to read his press release (or perhaps fax it to people!) which inclues the phrase "whore's forehead" and simaltaneously makes me want to laugh, throw up, and and throw things, here it is! I wonder if I could manage to do all three at once? Hmmm...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Stars make everything look easy

I heart Katy Perry and Russell Brand as a couple. How can you not? I mean look at this! It's adorable! Only they can look good sledding together! US mag would totally make this a Stars: They're Just Like Us! They go sledding! Please. Normal people look like bundled up idiots. I bet they don't even fall off at the end of the ride like everybody else.

Haven't we been here before?

Sienna Miller and Jude Law, together again. Or should I say again, again, again...sheesh! Just get married already. Then you can be like the Wright-Penns and threaten to divorce again, again, again...

Everybody loses!

In order to perform at London's Wireless Festival, Eminem has graciously agreed to leave out his homophobic lyrics in some of his songs. I have two points to make about this:

1. According to a spokesperson for the festival, "We have a condition that he does not use lyrics that encourage or incite hatred against gay people. He is free to express his views on gay people, as long as he stays off the violence and hatred." Oh, OK, so, he can say whatever he wants about gay people, as long as it's not mean. So he's not actually free to express his views. Don't get me wrong, huge hats off to them for keeping it hatred free...Except it would appear they're only doing it to keep protesters at bay. Hey, London! People are still going to protest! If you don't like someone you're not going to say, oh, it's cool, they're not going to do the thing I dislike about them just this one time so it's all good! So, in conclusion: he's free to say what he wants except he's not, and it's all in the name of keeping things protest-free rather than actually being anti-hate. Good work, London's Wireless Festival.

2. As for YOU, Eminem, maybe you could just not ever say homophobic things again rather then selling out for a gig. Do I agree with what you say about gay people? Hell no. I think nothing of you. But if possible I think slightly less that you can't even back up what you say all in the name of money. You're just going to go back to doing it anyway after the festival. So you're a homophobic asshole who won't even back yourself up about being a homophobic asshole. Nice work.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Good times, good times.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Ronald springs from your head like Athena from the cranium of Zeus

I'm not quite sure how I happend upon this humorous top 10 list, but I thought it was hilarious. Also, I just bought a Happy Meal last week (to get an Avatar toy (you talk to him and he lights up)). I give you The Top Ten Saddest Happy Meal Toys. Enjoy.

What the Flagnog!

Vivienne Westwood is pairing with....LEE Jeans!
According to WWD, "the new line, aptly dubbed The Vivienne Westwood Anglomania and Lee collection, will bring Westwood's signature punky-meets-couture-inspired approach to style. The pieces in the collection will range from the ubiquitous skinny jean to "bondage jeans" and "microshorts" (a term which, frankly, terrifies us). In addition to dark washes, the denim will feature one design with a quirkly lace print. Alas, don't expect Lee's price points to extend into Westwood's line, which will run about $128-$320."

This seems like the oddest pairing to me. The title just rolls off the tongue, eh?

Monday, December 21, 2009

The obligatory sink-under-the-bathwater scene

Did I black out the fact that Dakota Fanning was in this, or just not know? I think everybody was being so snarky about Kristen Stewart's mullet it may have gotten overlooked, but Ms. Fanning looks a far cry from the homecoming queen crown she won in real life!:

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Umm...OK: The holiday PSA

Well, here's a holiday PSA you don't see every year! There's one for Christmas but the Hanukkah version is more entertaining. All I have to say is if my boyfriend got this "gift" for me I'd be a bit perturbed. I mean it's cool to be thoughtful but maybe you could just remind me to go to the dentist instead.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

There's a little something...




How does no one tell a gal who's going to be photographed a trillion times that there is powder all over her face?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Those crazy Brits!

I couldn't find anything on TV so I put on BBC America which was showing Britain's Missing Top Model, which for a second I thought must be about how their top model had been kidnapped, then realize they probably meant they were missing having a top model. I wasn't really paying attention, just doing stuff around the apartment, but thought I heard one of them say something about their photo shoot with a prosthetic leg and I thought that seems like a pretty insensitive thing to model a shoot after. So finally I sit down to eat breakfast and start watching the elimination and realize, it's a disabled model competition. A few of the girls are in wheelchairs, one is deaf, and one just appeared to be wearing a cast which last time I checked didn't make you disabled, just a person who broke their arm. I found the whole thing fairly odd. It started me wondering if the "Missing" in the title refers to their disability, and I can't decide how I feel about that. I can only assume that somewhere Tyra Banks is fuming she didn't think of it first.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Climb ends in a tumble

Well, well, well. Miss Miley Cyrus has been pulled out of the Grammy running for best song from a movie! Yes, "The Climb" from Hannah Montana's feature film has been replaced by none other than Miss Karen O's beautiful contribution of "All is Love" from the equally beautiful Where the Wild Things Are. The reason as to this brilliant turn of events has not yet surfaced, though the website I read suggested that maybe "The Climb" was not originally penned specificially for the movie, which is a part of the rules for the category. Either way, I think we all win here. I mean Karen O clearly is the actual winner. I mean not of the Grammy, not yet anways, she's got some competition from Bruce Springsteen. I'm just saying she wins in this particular sitch. Party in the U.S.A., indeed!

Clothes call

I have recently gotten sucked into Veronica Mars and have since decided that my dream wardrobe from television would be hers combined with both Gilmore girls. And the body of Kate from Lost to most effectively rock it all. Dream TV haircut still forthcoming. Thank you.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

What the what!

Who is Jessica Simpson reportedly "smitten" with? None other than...

...Billy Corgan!
That's right! Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins!
Really? Really?

Monday, December 7, 2009

Talk about "crazy" in love!

Well, Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson have gotten back together again, again. I'm assuming he did so in hopes of not re-living last Christmas when he called her 158 times and marked each call with a nice razor blade cut on his hands or face (he never mentioned if she got the chance to actaully answer any of the calls or if any of the cuts made a fun snowflake shape so it looked like his face was snowing). I mean if that's not holiday joy, what is? And, we can only further assume that she was charmed back by his additional statement that he has "fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." Hey, Evan Rachel! Fun gift idea! Give him a sledgehammer for Christmas and see who wins! And by wins I mean loses. Santa and Mrs. Claus got nothin' on these two kooky lovebirds! And by birds I mean Good Luck With That.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Alex Ebert: Compare and Contrast!

So, I'm totally obsessed with the song "Home" by the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, so naturally I told Kate to listen to it and now she loves it as well. She also did some Wikipediaing and uncovered that the brains behind this rather large collective is this guy from L.A. named Alex Ebert. Now, this is interesting because Alex Ebert happens to also be from the band Ima Robot who Traci and I used to love and would spend shows fretting over the fact that man appeared to be running on cocaine. This is further interesting because Alex Ebert used to look and sound like this (note the haircut with squares carved in the side):


Now he has apparently grown some hair, deepened his voice, and created a cult of the happiest musicians in the world:


In either instance he appears to be having fun. It was confusing for me though, I'm not going to lie to you. And quite frankly I can't decide if I prefer the new-wave hair or the Hey Let's Go See What Charlie Manson And The Crew Are Up To style.

Just in time for the holidays...

...a Grand Re-Opening of the blog!
Did you miss us?

Dwangela Gothic




Rainn Wilson has a little blog of his own.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Happy Birthday That Girl!!

It's Kate's birthday! Kate and I have been friends for a decade now and she remains fun and fabulous through it all! So here's to That Girl, a loyal friend and an excellent Thanksgiving dinner-maker. Happy birthday!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wish lists with Mick

Alison: How bad will it look if I ask for a book called There once lived a woman who tried to kill her neighbor's baby?
Mick: I think you ask for these things just to try to cause trouble. How much could it cost? Buy it yourself and ask for something more appropriate.

I went with this advice and left it off the list, though did ask for Dead Weather and Dead Man's Bones CD's and a book about famous suicides. And Marc Jacobs perfume, since a girl who loves death themed things still wants to smell fabulous and own perfume bottles with plastic-y flower tops. P.S. If you want to get me something for Christmas or my birthday, I still want the book. The author is Russian, OK?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

8 minutes of my life that I will not get back

I made the mistake of turning to the last 8 minutes of the Hills. Batgirl and I have debated whether or not we would watch the new season. She said no, I said I would probably check it out. I haven't been able to watch TV lately and the DVR is filling up. I have not DVRed the new season and saw it was on, so, why not let the DVR fill up further and watch the Hills "live" on TV?

There are about 5 reasons I could have come up with if I had given myself a chance to think, but alas. She Pratt is thinner than before (I think her big confession about her previous battle with bulimia was just a way to bring in the anorexia). There was a brief shining Lo moment but Kristin and JustinBobby washed that taste out of my mouth right quick. Remember how JB is irritating and full of stale sound bites? SO IS KRISTIN! So- them, together, on a date made me wish I had four hands to accommodate driving pencils through my eyes are ears at the same time. Will I be back? Eh. Maybe. I would like to say no but I know myself better than that.

PS- the 5 reasons are:
- Kristin
- JB
- Heidi
- Spencer
- Not Lauren

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

So is she my father?

Why yes, that is Kristen Wiig wearing a Darth Vader dress at the Emmy's. Love her!

Another round of the game

Hey, I saw a commercial today for a movie about a dude who marries some woman and the kid is convinced he's evil. It's called The Stepfather. I loved that movie!...

...when it was called The Uninvited.

Gettin back in the game

Oh I've been horrid about posting. No bueno. I saw The September Issue the other weekend and loved it. While at said movie I saw a couple of interesting previews. One is for this new movie Precious which is brought to you by Oprah and Tyler Perry, which means to get to the inspirational message of it you have to sit through hopelessly depressing build up. I've worked with enough women and kids who have gone through such things that I do not care to watch it. However this is my second time seeing said preview and only upon second viewing did I realize the dumpy looking social worker is Mariah Carey.

The other preview was for Chris Rock's new comedy-documentary Good Hair. I've also worked with enough black girls to know that they do some shiz to their hair. Using stuff that smells toxic. Now, I went to see September Issue in an independent theather located in the suburb where I work which is seemingly populated by uppity old high class white people who have enough money to blow on everything but tipping properly, and they were all laughing at the trailer, so you know it's going to be interesting.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A kick when she's down

Apparently Jessica Simpson's dog was taken right in front of her by a wild coyote on Monday night. She's offering a reward for anyone that can help give some information or help find the dog. Now, I'm not a fan of Jessica Simpson (I curse the heavens anytime she's in one of my magazines (which is all the time)) but did she really need something else to go wrong for her? I hope she finds her.

Kanye gives a Chris Brown apology




LAH-AME! I get that he's probably sorry, but is he sorry 'cause he got booed at the awards multiple times OR is he actually sorry he ruined someone's night? Apparently the new trend in apologies is to make them on national television and not to the actual person who was wronged.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Amen!

"Um, no." -Nicky Hilton in response to being asked if she's happy sis Paris and dbag Doug are back together.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Touche Vma's

Ah, VMA's, I've spent one night every year for at least 12 years with you. It hasn't always been smooth sailing (Remember Vegas? Yea I wish I didn't either.) Tonight, I had planned on sending you the Dear John letter that every award show dreads. I sadly feel too old (why is 26 too old for Mtv?) to partake in your silliness, BUT then you pulled me back in with an MJ tribute. (A dastardly plan you minx!) I caved and turned it on. The tribute was great:


So I left the awards on in the background while I made dinner and read my beauty blogs promising myself that I would turn it once I was done BUT then Gaga came out and she was just undeniable:


Then this happened:


So now I was hooked. I thought to myself, "Oh, I'll just wait 'til B is done performing":


Then I went and got my laundry with every intention of watching Lost after folding and I walked in on Pink doing crazy acrobats. Singing upside down deserves an award in itself. Stinkin Mtv hasn't posted the video yet (but of course they've taken down the youtube ones already so I'll post it on a later date).


Fuck! Fine I'll watch the whole show ya jerk, but don't think that one lousy Hova performance satiated my need for some Hip Hop. Seriously, besides Kanye, there was only a whisper of it. I did like Russell Brand, but he was quite edited and non existent toward the end, but that was to be expected after last year's Jonas debacle. Next year I'll give you another chance but let's try for something a little less Twilight and various genres of Pop (not that I loathe either)and a little more variety (and Justin). But, in all seriousness, thanks for not totally making me hate myself for watching. It was a decent night.

Just for good measure I thought I'd add my best dressed:


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Remember this guy?

Mick: Hey, isn't that what your friend did?
Alison: Sylvia Plath?
Mick: Yeah!
(In response to a scene of a girl who died sticking her head in the oven in a movie.)

Mick: When I'm done here I'm going to go see Spring/Summer 08, it's a movie about the Sears Catalog.
(In response to me going to see The September Issue.)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Ruh roh Raggy...

I just read that Nicole Ritchie is in the hospital giving birth to her second child (boy). Ah, I had no idea she was even preggers! Am I slipping?!

Monday, September 7, 2009

If You Give a Moose a Muffin...

I am a huge fan of YouTube. I watch makeup videos or "tutorials" as they're called on the 'Tube almost everyday. Yesterday, while watching these tutorials, I saw a link to a video by a user called communitychannel entitled 'my precious', being a Lord of the Rings fan (and an owner of a cat named Gollum) I clicked it. Hilarity ensued:



Now, if you don't like or watch Lord of the Rings (ahem, batgirl) you may not get the actual references, but you may find the idea of the video hilarious. I do, but maybe it's because I quote things all the time and a lot of times people have no idea what I'm talking about.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Another reason to love her!

Drew Barrymore is inviting people in Detroit to go rollerskating to celebrate Whip It coming out. You can bring your own skates or rent them for free. How cute is that?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

From The City to The Hills and back again

Oh my goodness. The City looks like it's going to get pretty good and thankfully no sign of Adam and Allie and Jay, though I will miss Erin. And please God let Olivia fall on her pretty little face. As for The Hills, augh. Look for Stacey the Bartender chilling with Kristin when she's making fun of Brody. I truly don't think I can stomach that show anymore...though I do enjoy the last several seconds of the preview although Heidi and I agreeing on something makes me uneasy.



Oh. My. Dad.

I saw this Twitter account referenced on an acquaintance's Facebook page and decided to check it out because I liked the name. But wow- the name is only a little hint of a glimmer in to the brilliance of these tweets:


Here is one I found from the past few weeks, with much less swearing than most of them (it almost makes me feel like my bro doesn't swear THAT much- he swears slightly less than this guy's dad). You gotta check this dude out.
"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Eve Pinky



Whitney Port created a lipstick color for the cosmetics brand Cargo and I wants it! (They also have one that Evangeline Lilly created that I'll probably get) It's cruelty free, all natural (there's even wildflower seeds in the box so you can plant it) and $2 dollars from every sale goes to charity. Have I convinced you, pocketbook, that I need this?

Love, love, love

l would like to inform you about something very important, something near and dear to my heart:

Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks.
I knew it was coming what with it being September and all. And now, here it is! There is a Venti one right next to me! And it is DELICIOUS! In L.A. it was the only way to tell that it was fall. (You knew it was winter when it rained for a week and everyone drove like grandmothers and then they put up Christmas decorations even though there was no snow.) Now, I know I need to watch calories and money, so I'm going to try and tone it down a little this year (talls will be what I shoot for, I had to rock the venti today cause it's my day off and clearly the first one of the season had to be huge), but it's going to be tough. And it certainly does not help that there is a Starbucks in the mall where I work. Speaking of which I'm supposed to be looking for a job not blogging about life-altering hot beverages...Hmm, I wonder if Starbucks is hiring in their marketing department.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

New York, New York




Guess what started filming today!

Modelmania

I'm liking the new show after Runway about the models. I think it's interesting to show the entire model picking process in more detail, especially since they're changing models everytime now. This week was interesting as one model, Fatma, has apparently developed a crush on her designer from the first 2 challenges, Logan. Now I cannot blame girlfriend as he is very pretty, but it was quite humorous to watch her talking about him to another model. She was beside herself because when she told him he liked the fabric he'd picked out he said he thought it would go well with her skin. So of course she's all blah blah blah, he was thinking of ME! Um, sweetie, he was thinking of how best to make HIS design look best on his model. Trust me, he didn't do it to pledge model allegiance to you.

Fast forward to model elimination, when all of the girls are stressing out because no one wants to be picked by Mitchell, who has been in the bottom 2 of the first 2 challenges. So guess who he picks? Why, Fatma of course! She makes her feelings on this clearly known when she is seen walking out on the runway screen clawing at the air. Of course Logan is the next person to go and handles it gracefully. Although he does pick the girl next to Fatma which Fatma of course takes as him being SO very flustered over losing her that he just picks whoever was nearest to her. She goes on and on. Not only has she lost her true love but her new designer can't sew! Oh, the humanity!

I have to say, Mitchell kinda sucks but I do feel for him a little because next challenge I imagine she is going to be quite difficult. Here's hoping he picks the most flattering fabric possible for her. I mean, it's all about her, right?

Monday, August 31, 2009

Really? the Home Alone edition

A British tabloid is claiming that the sperm donor of Prince Michael the 2nd--you may know him as "Blanket"--is none other than...Macaulay Culkin.

Wow. Good luck with that one, British tabloid!

An open letter to...Chris Brown.

Dear Chris Brown,

It has come to my attention that since you've been sentenced, you now feel it is appropriate to go running your mouth to media outlets to try and salvage your career, like telling People mag that you still still love Rhianna and Larry King that you were shocked to read the details of the police report because you're not that person and furthermore, you don't even remember doing what you did. It has also come to my attention that you are dunzo and I have 4 words for you:
1. Shut.
2. The.
3. F***.
4. Up.

Buh bye.
alison.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I couldn't have done better. It was miraculous.

I stopped reading Perez Hilton's main site a few months ago because of the trash (and mean words) it was feeding my brain, but I went back to it today knowing it would have the latest updates on DJ AM's death. After I read the sad details of course I proceeded to keep scrolling down and down and down and...well I read a few pages. One story that caught my eye was of course about Heidi Montag. Apparently Anderson Cooper had some choice criticisms about her recent performance and her reply to his comments was as follows: "I am so incredibly flattered that he's talking about the first performance I've ever done, that he's talking about me, that he knows who I am. Who gets on CNN? Britney, when she shaved her head, gets on CNN. That's all that matters: Heidi, CNN, Anderson Cooper. Done."

Wait, did she just liken her performance to that of Britney's clear mental breakdown?

Perez noticed the same thing I did and said, " It's true! Heidi's performance was reminiscent of some sort of breakdown!" After she also threw in a "Praise God." Perez also noted that, "God should not be held responsible!"

I always knew there was a reason I liked him. He's just gotta be mean only to the people that I don't like and maybe I'd read him again.

(p.s. yes, the title of this entry was also a Heidi quote about her performance)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Call an exorcist!

I hate to give too much attention to Speidi but they just keep coming up with such genius things. Such as Spencer going on the radio to hail Heidi as the "new, modern day, 2010 Michael Jackson." When the DJ politely reminded Spencer that Michael Jackson is now dead, Spencer just spun it to his advantage, of course:

"Yeah, but here it is, it's living, like the Holy Spirit. Like, Michael Jackson's in heaven. The Holy Spirit now has Michael Jackson juice, so boom! For all we know, Heidi gets possessed with Michael Jackson's divine spirit."

"So Heidi is the new Michael Jackson?"

"Oh, way bigger."
Spence, you leave even me speechless sometimes.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I really just couldn't NOT post this

Quick run down: I found this video via Twitter. Apparently the girl from the Hills aftershow went out clubbing with Heidi and Spencer after her awful Miss Whatever pageant performance. Take note of after show girl's face and the fact that Heidi sings to herself in the mirror while lap dancing Spencer...



The Hills new season a starts Sept. 29th (Lo's birthday)(I found that out on Twitter too)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Musings on the Jackson kids

Paris Jackson just got her first haircut. She's 11 years old. I thought that seemed a little odd. Don't worry, they swept up all the hair so she could keep it. Or keep it out of the clutches of people who like to collect famous hair, I guess.

Here's the thing that bothered me reading about it (besides being baffled that she got her first haircut at 11): the fact that I was reading about it. Just as I predicted (to myself, probably, maybe I'll start going around making my predictions aloud at random times, with my finger in the air like I'm testing the wind), since his death we're suddenly hearing info about his kids, whereas before we NEVER heard anything about them (we'll leave that little window dangling incident out), and I have to say I always admired that about Mr. Jackson. In fact I admire any celeb who purposely keeps their kids out of sight. And now that he's dead and his fam has the kids, are we going to start hearing more and more about them? Somehow I have to wonder if what he would think about that or if that's what he wants for them.

This just in! I predict...that she will probably get haircuts more regularly now. Let's just let her get them without the world knowing, shall we? (She also got her nails painted green to match the limos at the Palms.)

So many stars!

The new cast of Dancing with the Stars has been revealed. It includes such illustrious stars as Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Mya, Donny Osmund, and Kelly Osbourne. Hey there, ABC! Don't get crazy casting those stars! You're really outdone yourself here. Really.

Oh! Wait! I saved the best for last!...


...Aaron Carter.
Really? Really!

Twins!


I would just like to share with you all that this cardigan that Lilo is wearing also happens to be the exact same cardigan that I own.

That is all.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Yes I stole the pic from CocoPerez




Is Andre moving to Hogwarts?! What the name of all the is fashion is this! Take note of the shoes.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Julia Stiles Styles

Fist Bump Part Two

Ok there aren't actual fist bumps in the excerpt I read of Heidi's Playboy interview. There are however two parts I wanted you to read so you could gag with me:

On other women: “If they aren’t hating on you, then you’re not doing anything right. If women aren’t jealous of you, talking about you and cutting you down, then you’re a nerd, and I would never want to be that.”

On MORE plastic surgery: “I plan to get a few more upgrades. … I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups. I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest. I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for [Spencer]. … Let’s do [another Playboy photo shoot] again when I get the upgrades.”


Please dear God, let this be edited to make her sound more ridiculous than she is. Oh did I mention that I heard her on the radio the yesterday talking about nudity and religion. She said something to the point of God created the body, bodies are beautiful especially after working out so much, and God wouldn't mind. Then she added this gem: "I'm not religious. I'm Christian." Gah! Maybe the article wasn't edited much...

Gather round, everyone!

Project Runway's triumphant return is tomorrow, and to celebrate our beloved Mr. Gunn was the guest on tonite's Daily Show. So good to see him again! He's so elegant and poised in his responses to everything! The two highlights for me were:

1. Jon Stewart inquiring if the network switch meant that catchphrases had to change, like instead of Heidi saying "One day you are in, the next day you are out" had to be changed to something like "One day you are in, the next day not so in."

2. Tim discussing in his awesome deadpan demeanor how terrible the beautiful weather in L.A. was. And how it would become overcast and rain a little and suddenly the news would blare "Rainstorm 2008." This is funny because it is true. The minute the weather does something beyond be sunny and gorgeous in L.A. the local news immediately acts like everyone is going to die and then people drive like they've never seen rain before in their life.

Super sperm?

Lil Wayne is going to be a daddy!
Lil Wayne is going to be a daddy!

Is it a typo, you may ask, me repeating this sentence? Why, no. Lil Wayne is, in fact, now expecting TWO babies. Busy man!

In other news, Lil Wayne and ladies of the world that are sleeping with Lil Wayne, there are some awesome new inventions sweeping the nation. We call them birth control and condoms. You should look into them.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Seriously, just figure it out, people

Robin Wright-Penn filed for divorce from Sean Penn. Do I believe they will actually get divorced this time? Frankly, no. As I am sure my opinion will weigh heavily in if it actually goes down, I just wanted to put it out there. Don't believe you, Wright-Penns! Good luck with that!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Fist bump: The meaningful glances of D-bags

Like all of you, I was mostly nauseous after hearing the amazing details of the Speidi interview in Playboy (side note- when is the last time Heidi has done ANYTHING without Spencer? 1996?). Clearly Heidi is delusional and confused about, well, a lot. Checking through Perez, I saw a link to the article and I wanted to see if maybe the full article would redeem Mrs. Pratt. Yeah, no. It didn't.

I read about 3 exchanges between Heidi and Spencer (what a great interviewer, really) and felt the familiar rise of bile in my throat. BUT WAIT- the best (worst) part- there are several times in the article that this happens:
Spencer: Heidi, you are so amazing and brainwashed by my flesh beard
Heidi: You are the best thing that has ever happened in my whole life ever including being born and purchasing my "upgrades."
[several fist bumps]

WHAT? Yes. Speidi or Playboy or whoever transcribed this piece of cutting-edge journalism felt the need to put in EVERY SINGLE "fist bump" the couple exchanges. First- fist bumps? Second- transcribed fist bumps? I really don't think it would take away from the mood or intentions of the article to leave out all of the [fist bump]s.

Really, Playboy? You gotta get those girls next door back. STAT.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I'll take it!

According to the Glamour magazine health blog there are some junk foods that are surprisingly good for us. Here a few:

1. Blue M&Ms. Strangely, they contain an ingredient (a certain dye) that may help people suffering from spinal chord injuries. Who knew?

2. Guinness: Researchers believe it could improve blood circulation.

3. Cheez Whiz: It contains conjugated linoleic acid, which research has shown may contain anti-carcinogenic properties, as well as a possible effective antioxidant.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A nice tribute

Here's the trailer for The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Heath Ledger's last film. He finished half of it and then they brought in Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law to share the remainder of the role. I think it looks pretty enjoyable.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Meggings



I keep seeing this picture on different fashion blogs and every article that accompanies it is about how horrible this new trend of leggings for men are. Now, I'm not sure I'd want to see the average shmo walking around in full length leggings, but I think these dudes look kinda cool and a little grunge. Actually I could totally see JustinBobby wearing an outfit like this...Thoughts?

Where you Lead...




Alexis Bledel was on tonight's Teen Choice Awards. I didn't actually watch but I saw the picture and I wanted to show everyone how pretty she looked. That is all.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Proposal

If you live with or hang around me enough you'll know my penchant for uttering the phrase "Google it" in response to any question. I also of course have a distinct way of saying it (Kate can confirm) which I only wish I could include here. (I will tell you "google" comes out more like "guggle" and the words run together.) So, my new stroke of genius is to take my love of Wikipedia (my general course of action for famous people/movies is Google, IMDB, and Wikipedia, not necessarily in that order) to the next level and make a catchphrase for that as well. What better way to do this then to combine it with my love of rap sounds effects? Imagine this: you ask me a question, and instead of wasting my time with cumbersome phrase "Look it up on Wikipedia," I respond "Wiki-wiki!" You know, like the sound people make when they're imitating a record skipping! Get it? Get it?

I spent a lot of time by myself today, OK?

Just don't show up at my door, Wal-Mart!

A woman whose daughter is a Girl Scout is claiming that Wal-Mart is introducing a new line of cookies that are direct knock offs of the Thin Mints and Tagalongs that are the most popular of the Girl Scout cookies. This article talks more about it. Brand knockoffs are one thing, and the original itself still generally exists (take Oreo and Hydrox, or generic store brands of everything) but going after Girl Scouts? If this is in fact true, Wal-Mart, it's also in fact lame. Furthermore if you start having in-store Pinewood Derbys, we'll know what you really think of the organizations for the children of America.

Not the girl next door


Here is Heidi's Playboy cover. Maybe it's just me, but I think it looks a little ridic. (Note: This is my new shorthand for ridiculous.) What I much prefer is Lauren's brilliant response to why Heidi may have posed for the photos showcasing her many enhancements: "They're not going to pay for themselves."

Speaking of which wouldn't such a Jesus freak shun plastic surgery? Did it occur to you that God wanted you to have normal-sized lips, Heid, as opposed to the pillow pout you're sportin' now? Hey, pillows, that reminds me of--OK, I'm done. Although I think Carrie's mom said it best, especially here, with the famous phrase "dirty pillows." OK, now I'm done.

Maybe only I'll find this interesting...



As an ex cake decorator I find myself looking at other people's cakes and totally making fun of them when they are horrible. I stumbled on the perfect website if you'd like to join me!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Really? the tv show question edition

I have a question that has been bothering me for quite some time and I must now pose it...

Really, how many TV shows do their need to be that revolve around hospitals, cops, and law firms? Really? I mean, really?

Ok, I feel sort of better. But not really, really.


(This does not include Scrubs, per Mick's request.)

America: Heads up!










All right, people, we have an issue on our hands here: Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme is about to be released from prison. What? You don't know who that is? Two words: Charlie Manson. Two more: Gerald Ford. She faithfully followed one and pulled a gun on the other! I'll let you figure out which which is which.

Of course when she pulled the gun on Ford there wasn't a bullet in the chamber. And she was doing it to call attention to the plight of the redwoods. She even wore a nice red robe when she went! She also apparently once tried to get a hold of Jimmy Page to warn him of the eeeevil she foresaw in his future.

Oh, and she was supposed to get out last year but then they remembered she needed to serve another year for that time she escaped from prison cause she heard Charlie had testicular cancer. Of course she forgot to actually leave the state as she was found near the prison a few days later. So she's not the brightest bulb! Who cares! What better way to mark the 40th anniversary of the Manson fam murder spree?

In conclusion, be careful. Who knows if she's still hopelessly devoted to Charlie or planning to pull a weapon on anyone else to save the trees. Also, look at her. Girlfriend looks like an elf from the wrong side of the tracks. (I've included an old picture and a more recent one so you can recognize her when she comes to your house.)

Peace out, John

John Hughes died from a heart attack today. I had to recognize the man who brought me Molly Ringwald in all her 80's glory. The man was a high school staple.

No. Just...no.

Well, I don't really know what to say. I mean, sure, comedy is subversive or controversial or something. Sure, OK, there's something ironic and funny about Roseanne as Hitler in drag pulling Jewish gingerbread people out of an oven...Nope, nope, not getting it. Not even trying too hard.

Did I mention it's on the cover of something called Heeb, the magazine for young Jewish intellectuals? Yeah, still not getting it.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Ins and outs of judges

American Idol: Paula Abdul--Out!

ANTM guest judges: Lauren Conrad and Kim Kardishian--In!

This has been your reality show judging update.

Listen all ya'll

So MTV released the noms for this year's video awards (hosted again by Russell Brand, here's hoping he makes more Jonas Brothers virginity jokes and someone gets needlessly offended by them for the second year in a row). I of course have seen maybe one of the videos. What interested me was the addition of a new category: Best Video (That Should Have Won a Moonman). Apparently they dug waaay back into the 80's and 90's (and a couple from this decade) to randomly pick several awesome videos that never got a VMA but should have. I kind of like this idea. And pretty much all of their picks are solid; I would be happy with any one of them winning. They are:

Beastie Boys, Sabotage
Bjork, Human behaviour
U2, Where the streets have no name
Foo Fighters, Everlong
George Micheal, Freedom
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Into the great wide open
Dre and Snoop, Nothin but a G thang
OK Go, Here it goes again
Radiohead, Karma Police
David Lee Roth, California girls*

*OK, this is the only one that does not fit with anything I said and whoever included it in this category needs a good slapping both upside the head and across the face. I would rather eat bacon then vote for this video.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Alli, do you know about this?

Apparently JT has a new movie coming out also starring The Big Lebowski. I couldn't figure out the girl in it is but according to IMDB it's Kate Mara, looks like she's mainly a tv show lady but she was in Brokeback Mountain as one of the versions of their daughters. Me, I love a good trip movie so I'm in.

Portrait of a baby-crier

So Katherine Heigl went on Letterman to baby-cry about a 17 hour day they had on the set of Grey's Anatomy. Well apparently it's coming back to bite her pretty ass--people from the set have snitched that it was because the studio was accomadating HER schedule (taking time from the day to promote her new movie). Ms. Heigl was hoping to embarass the show by blabbing about the looong day--ruh roh Raggy! Misfire!

I've never watched the show personally. I loved her in Knocked Up though it took away from it a bit when she babycried about how the women characters were portrayed shrewishly. Um, Kath, no one made you make the movie, FYI (although Anne Hathaway had already passed up supposedly, not liking the graphicness of the birthing scene, which is too bad because she would have been hi-larious). Babycrying gets you nowhere but labeled as a baby-crier. So, Katherine Heigl: thumbs down, pacifer in, please and peace out.

P.S. Next time you want to whine about a 17 hour day which no doubt included lounging in your trailer and having people cater to your every whim, talk to someone who actually works an actual 17 hour day, on their feet--I suspect you could start with some of the workers on the set of your horrible, mean little show. I am also available for comment and will happily tell you about the time I woke up at 8 in the morning and got home shortly after 1 AM to chase teenage girls around Disneyland on Christmas Day for non-holiday pay since I was still in the 3 month probation period. Check...MATE.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Kate plus 8

I found myself bored tonight so I picked up my new US Weekly and of course it reminded me that tonight was the big comeback of Jon and Kate Plus 8 after their post split hiatus. I didn't think I'd be watching the show but as I said, I was bored and therefore gave in and you know what I totally enjoyed myself. After the episode I popped onto the internet and found this in my US Weekly daily e-mail.


I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of these this year. Eh well it gives girls another option to slutty (insert anything here) (that's what she said.)

A famine in smiles

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Legal Term for a One-Night Stand

Jude Law is going to be a dad for the fourth time (watch out, Jon Gosselin! He's gainin' on ya, one kid at a time!). It was announced apparently in a document directly from his lawyer, because here is the quote announcing this joyous occasion-

"Jude Law can confirm that, following a relationship last year, he has been advised that he is to be the father of a child due in the fall of this year”

That quote speaks for itself. It will be awesome when the kid is old enough to Google his dad's reaction to his impending birth- hopefully he will have his Bachelor's by then so he can understand his dad's excitement.


Yes, please!

You know, I've been watching DVD's of The Hills obsessively lately, and maybe I'm just perma-programmed to inhale all things Lauren. But the fact that she's looking to get L.A. Candy made into a movie made me totally psyched. Let's face it, I'm a Laurenaholic.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Um...?



This was played during the Lost part of Comic Con last weekend...Here's the first part of four panel videos...

Monday, July 27, 2009

MAKE IT WORK!!!!!!

As if I needed any more reasons to be excited about the new Project Runway season finally coming to us August 20 but now I'm reading that before the actual season starts there will be a "Fan Favorite" special competition which features some of my favorite past competitors including Santino, Daniel V., and Jeffrey from Season 3!

The countdown is on!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Jennifer's Body: A brief discourse.

Now I don't know about this, and of course I will tell you why. It's a great title since it's taken from a Hole song of the same name. That having been said, I still go back and forth on Diablo Cody and we all know I think Megan Fox is a bi-otch and not as gorgeous as she--I mean, as everybody thinks she is. But she appears to be playing a hot bi-otch in the movie so at least she's not stretching her range. Also it appears to have vampirish tendencies and we all DEFINITELY know I don't swing that way. So, jury's still out.

Blonde Ambition Tour

OK, so, when I was visiting my aunts last weekend we watched The Kendra show on E. It was super weird because her now husband Hank's 'rents came to visit and they took them to the Playboy Mansion cause I guess the wedding was there. It just struck me as odd, while we were watching--hey, future mom-and-dad-in-law, come meet the way older man who's famous for producing a naked lady magazine! Did I mention I used to be his girlfriend which means we used to have relations? And now he dates these hoochie blonde twins who appear to be barely legal? Oh, hey, AND we're getting married on his lawn!

Takes all kinds, takes all kinds.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Quiz time!

Which of the following stories is not true?

1. Paris Hilton is now claiming Michael Jackson named his daughter after her.
2. Heidi Pratt will be performing at the upcoming Miss Universe pageant.
3. Amy Winehouse was accused of hitting a fan but won her case by pointing out that while her signature beehive 'do and heels make her appear taller, she was too short to have been able to reach the fan in question.


Sadly, that was a trick question.
All true!

Thanks to Kari

Friday, July 24, 2009

I usually hate weddings...

...but my mom made me look up this youtube video which is apparently one of those 'everyone has seen it' videos. I caved and I'm glad. It's really amusing, creative, and it was in St. Paul. Enjoy:

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Who's that girl?

Lindsay, of course. (The leggings are your dead giveaway.)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Curiouser and curiouser!




Check out the new preview for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Is it just me or does Johnny Depp resemble Elijah Wood as the Mad Hatter?

I'll try harder, Alli!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

We're failing at this blog

I once again was reading Justin's site's blog and ran across two things I felt that you needed to see too. I'll save the worst for first:



Apparently, an Amsterdam ad agency created this bench for a gym there thinking it would inspire people unfortunate enough to sit down to join the gym. I mean really? This would just inspire me to not sit down and then after a long wait wouldn't you just be cranky when you got on the bus? We don't need to add grumpies to the crazies already riding.


Now this however I think is a genius idea. Little bumper stickers for your kicks. I think these would sell like crazy at like Hot Topic or stores where high school kids shop for things to stand out. Not that I wouldn't buy them too, I mean "Start seeing ants" is just funny. (fyi I really do go out of my way not to step on them)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

For the veggies

Kelly Coffman-Lee is a hardcore vegetarian and want to show her love on her license plate but her DMV denied her claiming that her plate could be interpreted as slightly dirty. I didn't see it 'til I looked for it.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Pass

Mel Gibson's next movie will be called The Beaver. It will be about a man who is depressed and as a means of attempting to lift his spirits, wears a beaver puppet on his hand. My first thought was, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Then I read that Steve Carrel and Jim Carrey had also reportedly been checking the script out and realized that's it only the stupidest thing I've heard of Mel Gibson doing. If anybody else was doing it, say someone who is actually cool, and it was handled correctly, say as a black comedy as opposed to a drama-dy, I would be all about it. Jodie Foster is directing so I'm sensing drama-dy. So for now I'm going to stick with my gut reaction, which is to say, stupid. Not to mention how many immature jokes about a dude with a beaver on his hand it will produce.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm not really sure what to say...


I found this site and I'm not sure really what to say besides that it's all awesomely horrifying hair. Proceed now.

Can I take it to Red Lobster?





According to Wonderwall, of the 16 new Project Runway designers, "Three of them hail from Russia, Bosnia and the Republic of Georgia. One lists his favorite designer as "himself" and inspiration as "the farmers of rural China." Another claims the first garment she ever sewed was her very own wedding dress."

August 20 seems for-ev-er away until it starts. Until then--Tim Gunn Talking Bobblehead, anyone?

La la, la la la!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Vacay the Winehouse way

Say you're planning a trip to the Caribbeans and you want to party like a rock star. Take a cue from Ms. Amy Winehouse and do the following:

1. Become so attached to a local lady working at a bar that you take to calling her Mummy when you go in to drink for hours on end.
2. Form another attachment to the stray dogs you find on the beach and take them all in until hotel management bans you from further doing so.
3. Haven't had enough of drinking and banning? Make a point of downing a lot of rum and wine before you go for a dip in the pool so you can pass out on the grass afterwords. Ta da! Now you're banned from the pool!

Nothing says vacation like unhealthy attachments and bannings. Happy happy hour!

I guess E! online won't be linking to our site...

I know they are Speidi-free, and really, I would love to be as well, but I read an article a while back that I can't ignore.  Not sure if you saw this one, but Spencer and Heidi are serious New World Order converts and they are going to preach to the Christians because the Christians take Heidi VERY seriously and they know when Heidi means something they listen because they know it's a message.  

Really? I thought you told them all to vote for McCain- was that not a message? And that your music is good- where's the message there?  I really hope they are joking about this, or are doing it for press, because if they are not I am convinced it is not safe for society to have them roaming around freely.  

I guess they went on a show called Infowars (incidentally, Spencer is going to name his album this now) hosted by a conspiracy-theorist named Alex Jones (that sounds like such a fake name) and were gushing about how he was right about everything.  Before going on this guy's show they were researching, quote, "We've been nonstop researching the Internet...for information for at least a month all day every day."  Oh- OK.  I didn't know there was internet in the jungles of Costa Rica.  And I guess all the paparazzi shots they set up for themselves over the past few months were all just little breaks from their 24-hour-a-day researching.  

Other interesting info they revealed on this radio show- 
- Heidi hates birth control now, partially because "how most women are suicidal sometimes on it."  With these oratorical skills, Heidi is the next Eva Peron.  
- Lauren controls the media and has made the media turn against Speidi, because everyone used to love them and now they have been "Obama-sized".  
- Apparently we are all going to be implanted with micro-chips, but Heidi will preach to her Christians because it says in the bible that this is the mark of the Devil.  
- In one shining moment of sanity, Speidi questions their popularity, starting a statement with "how are we famous..." but unfortunately, it all goes downhill from there.  

Saturday, July 4, 2009

I can't put my finger on it!

Really? There's something wrong with Esther? She looks perfectly normal to me! I mean, nothing about her face conveys that she is a freakish child of the underworld. She totally looks like a kid you'd love to baby-sit for, am I right? And in no way does it appear that the ribbon tied around her neck is cutting off the oxygen to her brain thus causing her eyes to bulge out of their dark exterior. No, Esther looks fine to me! Why this movie poster would say otherwise is on of the great cinematic histories of the world! Really!


Yeah, yeah. I'll probably go see it.

Friday, July 3, 2009

And now, Mick

Alison: My uncle used to call my mom P.I.A. for Pain in the ass.
Mick: How many brothers and sisters did your mom have?
Alison: There were 15 kids.
Mick: Why didn't they get a TV show?
Alison: Like Joseph and Sophia Plus 15? I don't think they had TLC back then.
Mick: What a fucking scam, TLC. The Learning Channel? That shit stopped being educational in fucking 1998. You can't learn a goddamn thing watching that fucking channel. The only thing you learn is what's wrong with people.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

King of Pop

So of course I've been reading different blogs and such this week about Michael Jackson. I ran across this one and I thought it was really nice.

I also saw this video on Perez's twitter. It's MJ rehearsing 2 days before his death. I wasn't going to watch it but then I clicked the button anyway. I got a little teary but it really shows that he still had it which is nice and sad at the same time.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Oh, darn.

E! Online had a poll where loyal readers could vote whether or not they would continue to post anything on Heidi and Spencer. An awesome 94% said no, thank you! so the sight is now "Speidi free." Unless something actually newsworthy happens. Like maybe if she donates a kidney to Hugh Hefner or something, I don't know. Hopefully The Pratts don't take this an open invite to produce legitimate news. They probably don't even know what legitimate means so I'm not too worried...yet.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The real Slim Shady?


I've long been annoyed at Eminem for wasting his talent as a rapper on a) making homophobic remarks, b) whining endlessly about his ma, and c) always poking fun at celebs for reasons that make no sense. One of these celebs is Mariah Carey. Now, normally I can leave her rather than take her, but I do give her props for giving him a dig back by dressing up as him for her new video and taking some shots of her own. Let's just hope he doesn't retaliate by dressing up as her. No one needs to see that shiz!

Juno did it better.

So for lack of anything better being on, I decide to check out MTV's 16 and Pregnant and frankly, it is depressing as all hell. Farrah is a cheerleader. I missed the beginning but figure out that she's not with the father anymore. And her ties with the old cheerleading squad quickly go downhill when they won't stop talking about her. Wha? Your popular high school cheerleading friends are talking about you? My goodness! Luckily Tyler the male gay cheerleader is in her corner. She goes with him on his tanning appointment to complain about how these girls are supposed to be leaders. You would know! ("Cheer followers," Tyler cheekily says, the first person in history to be sooo cleva.)

Then she takes her mom to Perkins (I missed where it takes place but it's feeling a little mid-westerny) to let her know "We're keeping the baby." We, of course, meaning Mom gets to help. You can tell Mom wishes there was some parental act that could order Farrah to drop the baby off at the corner orphanage. And that she's so pleased to have conversations like when will we schedule your senior pictures? and Farrah informs her she doesn't plan on having a puffy face after birth. Good plan! Why don't more pregnant women take that frame of mind? Then going to high school gets too stressful so they decide she better drop out of that and take classes at the local community college. On-line, preferably, so she doesn't have to see people. Awesome.

MTV itself makes the program of course fun to look at by adding illustartions drawn on lined paper, like one of Farrah running away from the cheerleading squad. At least they aren't imposing emo pop punk on me as it goes along...oh wait.

At the baby shower she voices over how everyone is starting to get really excited about it (whatever you need to tell yourself, sweetie), and it reminds her how in a short time she's going to be a mom...then the next scene is her waking up and yelling "Mom! I think my water just broke!" Turns out dad's out of town and her big sis is sick so it's just Farrah and Mom having the baby. You can tell Mom is real thrilled. Especially when she starts crying after speaking to her husband, much to the annoyance of Farrah, who I actually kind of want to slap. Oh, MTV. Am I finally starting to outgrow you? Did she just apologize to everyone for having to look at her crotch during labor? Did she just say she's never held a baby before?

In the second half, of course, we see how she never gets to leave the house and her mom won't help her. Then in a bizarre turn of events Farrah decides she needs a car because she feels trapped in her own house, but her mom isn't really down. Eventually they go car shopping which somehow results in them fighting, during which her mother informs her that she's "Tired of her anti-Christ attitude." I'm not actually sure what the means but it ends in Farrah getting out of the car and calling her grandparents who take her car shopping instead.

It ends with Farrah talking about what she's learned, showing baby pics, yadda yadda yadda, then saying "Peace out." And me sort of feeling like I need a stiff drink. And maybe I need to stop saying Peace out as well.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Who's the real monster?

According to a recent tweet by Lush cosmetics there was one person killed by a shark in 2007. On the other hand there were around 100,000,000 sharks killed by people. Apparently shark's PR people are failing miserably.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

See ya in another life Brotha


It's a strange thing when I celebrity dies. There are news flashes, remembrances, and all day marathons of their work. It's like a version of a wake or prayer service for a person you loved but didn't even know. It's a whole other type of loss. When Heath Ledger died, I couldn't watch his movies for a good six months and once I finally watched The Dark Knight, I truly had to fight back tears upon hearing his voice.

Today, though, I lost someone beyond just a famous person I enjoyed. I lost someone who has given me the soundtrack for quite a large part of my life. I had "We are the world" on vinyl, watched the making of "Thriller" every Halloween, and one year for Christmas all I wanted was "Bad" and spent the rest of vacation memorizing every lyric (much to the dismay of my family). I was just truly a fan. I never really cared about his antics or plastic face. I just wanted more music, more originality, more him (even when it wasn't that great).

And after all of that I've been slightly annoyed while being inundated with texts and Facebook status RIP's from random people. I don't want to gossip about it and I keep feeling like it's my loss, a personal loss. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but now I think I understand. I am coming to the age where I will start seeing people from my childhood pass on and Michael is my very first icon that I've lost. He is among one of the first musical voices I heard and definitely the first that swept me away.

I'm not sure what else to say and I'm not even sure if it's really sunken in yet. It's a sad day in music, but at least people are back to talking about his music once again. Maybe Will.i.Am put it best when he said, "...I wouldn't be surprised if the world stopped spinning tomorrow."

I'll leave you with my top MJ songs...

1. Dirty Diana
2. Smooth Criminal
3. Billie Jean
4. Rock with you
5. P.Y.T
6. Black or White
7. Remember the time
8. They don't care about us
9. Ease on down the road (from The Wiz)
10. Human Nature

Game time!

One of the ways in which I like to express my annoyance at things is the old "I liked that...when it was this!" comparison. Like whenever we see a commercial for this show on NBC called The Listener about a dude who can hear people's thoughts, Mick gets to hear me say, "I liked The Listener...when it was called What Women Want!" My new favorite example I hauled out while in Texas involves a new MTV gem and goes like this: "I liked 16 and Pregnant...when it was called The Secret Life of the American Teenager!...when it was called Juno!" Kate did me one better by adding the forgotten Kirsten Dunst made-for-tv gem "...when it was called Fifteen and Pregnant!" I smell a board game based on our blog, ladies!

Self censor still broken

Once again, the wonder of texting (not a word for word recreation, but close enough)...
Alli: There is a place in LA that sells a bacon covered donut.
Alison: There's a heart attack waiting to happen.
Alli: What are you talking about? Fatty protein and deep fried sugar is the basis of a waist shrinking diet.
Alison: Maybe if you're Steph Pratt.
Alli: Wow.
Alison: Too soon?

I want to go to there.

Do yourself une favore and check out this link to IMDB's posted pics of Tim Burton's upcoming release (2010, can you hurry up please? Oh, and also Where The Wild Things Are? to tide me over til then?) of his telling of Alice in Wonderland. Anne Hathaway looks goregous in her photo. As for Johnny Depp...well, see for yourself.

Oscars: Now with 50% more!

In yet another attempt to feel less old/outdated, The Oscars have decided to expand their Best Pic category. Doubling it, to be exact: where there were once 5 noms, there will now be 10. The change is supposedly to give more chances to smaller films, foreign films, and films that do well at the box office but tend to get snubbed. This would have been more helpful last year when it came to things like The Dark Knight and Gran Torino (whose exclusion caused a boycott from my aunts; I know see why having just watched it recently). I'll tell you this much for free, the nanosecond Micheal Hack Bay sneaks in with this new clause, I am outta there, fashion or no.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I like when other people love animals too

This video warms my heart. (Check out the animal control guy's shirt)

Friday, June 19, 2009

Flame, the next Sex Panther

Looks like I'm holding up this blog for the next few days all alone. It's a lot of pressure but I think I can do it.

Now that summer is here finally, we all start changing certain things about our everyday. We wear lighter fabrics, brighter colors, etc. I myself change up my scents usually. I recently sampled on from Benefit but I'm wondering if I'm going to wrong direction. The UK's Burger Kings have come up with something a little out of the ordinary. A scent with a "subtle hint of flame-grilled beef." Meet: Flame!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Why did I subscribe to US weekly online?!

Everyday I get urgent emails about Jon and Kate or Ashlee and Pete and you know what? I loves it. It takes up extra time but I almost always click at least one of the links. Today I clicked three:

T.R. Knight is for sure leaving Grey's Anatomy. Sad but not a shocker.

Jon and Kate are making an important announcement. I already saw the commercial and I already set a reminder to watch the stupid show.

And this one. Why am I continually apalled at Spencer's behavior? I should just expect it.

FYI

What I'll be reading on the way to Texas.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

How many times has this happened to you?

I mean really.  It's the age old story of girl goes in for a few little star tattoos on her face and ends up with 56.  Happens to the best of us.  

WTF 2?



Ugh, guh-ross! Kristen Stewart chopped off her lovely brown locks and went for a Joan Jett mop. When she pulls it back, it's not so odd, but who cuts their hair to have it pinned up all the time. I do not appreciate the mullet-ish look at all and even more I don't like that it's accompanied by very 'rocker-ish' ensembles. She's a pretty girl, why oh why would she do this. I guess she'll get Drew Barrymore points for the balls to try something weird.

Monday, June 15, 2009

WTF?



I'm all for creative expression, especially through makeup, but this...at
Bonnaroo? I'm not sure I'm that into it.

JT, I love you.

I saw this on Mr. JT's website:



I've never been much of a celebrity blog reader, but his is kind of amusing. There was also a link to this.

Batgirl don't look!



I just posted this 'cause they both look hot and I'm so excited to see Revenge of the Fallen.

Go Bruce!

It is weird to see "reality stars" in situations not related to their reality show. I was over at Us Weekly and for some unknown reason clicked on an article about how Bruce, Demi and Ashton are "like a tribe now." Great for them, being good parents and friends. I vaguely remembered that Bruce got married, but the article taught me a little something about the new Mrs. Willis (her friends call her Emma).

When she and Bruce met, she was engaged to none other than Mrs. Pratt's boss, Brent Bolthouse! I never thought I would say this, but Bruce Willis rocks. I love that she was engaged to Brent and left him for Bruce. I am just having trouble reconciling the fact that Brent Bolthouse exists outside of my television. That one's going to take awhile.

Side note- my brother has long claimed "Bruce" to be the number one manliest name ever. I am not sure if I agree with that 100% but its stock is rising!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Internet Killed the Reality Star

This post is a long time in the making.  Hopefully I can keep it succinct! 

I am in to the "lifestyle" type reality shows (as opposed to the competition style).  They provide cheap entertainment and a nice little escape.  I also enjoy the internet quite a bit (particularly the gossip wing of the internet).  But- the trouble comes when these two pastimes collide.  

Obviously, a big part of the appeal to these reality shows is that I am watching real people who, presumably, would be doing these things whether or not a camera was present.  But then the internet comes along to ruin everything by telling what these people are "really" doing when the cameras are off.  I always want to believe what I am being told by the shows I enjoy but the g-d web is constantly butting in with a cyber "nuh-uh! that's not what they're doing!" 

One of my first experiences with this was the Hills.  My incredibly supportive bro Mick constantly made fun of me and told me how fake it was.  I denied it, argued with him, all that, and now even the people on that show aren't holding on to any illusion that their reality show is real.  

The most recent example of this is Jon and Kate Plus 8.  I will admit that I enjoy(ed) the show, mostly because the kids are cute (except for one of the twins- she is SO irritating.  I wouldn't have given her water either, Kate). My enjoyment faded a bit when they moved in to their huge house- there is room for everyone to do their own thing (and for Jon and Kate to ignore each other) and I feel like there isn't as much face time with all the kids together.  Whatever, I can deal.  But then, Us Weekly comes around and sticks their big telephoto lens where it shouldn't belong and starts shooting off their mag about who is doing what when.  This just makes me mad (at the media and the fam).  For several reasons:
1. Don't cheat! Come on!
2. If you are on a reality show it should be part of your job to do all you can to support the "reality" you are feeding us.  If you don't, get out of the spotlight and off my TV.  
3. I feel bad that these kids are followed everywhere by cameras, though it was clearly brought on by their parents.  Us Weekly- can you just leave kids alone? Watching the season premier was really hard because I started feeling bad for the family and then I felt guilty for reading the exact same publications and websites that were profiting from their constant surveillance.  I do not want to feel bad for checking out usmagazine.com or picking up a magazine at the Target checkout.  (Special thanks to Brett who quickly talked me down after I guiltily said "I shouldn't buy those magazines anymore!")
4. The show has become vague references to what the gossip media is saying, awkward "confessionals" and pity for the kids who have to live it.  Cuz I think at least that part is true. 

Thanks internet.