Juno did it better.

So for lack of anything better being on, I decide to check out MTV's 16 and Pregnant and frankly, it is depressing as all hell. Farrah is a cheerleader. I missed the beginning but figure out that she's not with the father anymore. And her ties with the old cheerleading squad quickly go downhill when they won't stop talking about her. Wha? Your popular high school cheerleading friends are talking about you? My goodness! Luckily Tyler the male gay cheerleader is in her corner. She goes with him on his tanning appointment to complain about how these girls are supposed to be leaders. You would know! ("Cheer followers," Tyler cheekily says, the first person in history to be sooo cleva.)

Then she takes her mom to Perkins (I missed where it takes place but it's feeling a little mid-westerny) to let her know "We're keeping the baby." We, of course, meaning Mom gets to help. You can tell Mom wishes there was some parental act that could order Farrah to drop the baby off at the corner orphanage. And that she's so pleased to have conversations like when will we schedule your senior pictures? and Farrah informs her she doesn't plan on having a puffy face after birth. Good plan! Why don't more pregnant women take that frame of mind? Then going to high school gets too stressful so they decide she better drop out of that and take classes at the local community college. On-line, preferably, so she doesn't have to see people. Awesome.

MTV itself makes the program of course fun to look at by adding illustartions drawn on lined paper, like one of Farrah running away from the cheerleading squad. At least they aren't imposing emo pop punk on me as it goes along...oh wait.

At the baby shower she voices over how everyone is starting to get really excited about it (whatever you need to tell yourself, sweetie), and it reminds her how in a short time she's going to be a mom...then the next scene is her waking up and yelling "Mom! I think my water just broke!" Turns out dad's out of town and her big sis is sick so it's just Farrah and Mom having the baby. You can tell Mom is real thrilled. Especially when she starts crying after speaking to her husband, much to the annoyance of Farrah, who I actually kind of want to slap. Oh, MTV. Am I finally starting to outgrow you? Did she just apologize to everyone for having to look at her crotch during labor? Did she just say she's never held a baby before?

In the second half, of course, we see how she never gets to leave the house and her mom won't help her. Then in a bizarre turn of events Farrah decides she needs a car because she feels trapped in her own house, but her mom isn't really down. Eventually they go car shopping which somehow results in them fighting, during which her mother informs her that she's "Tired of her anti-Christ attitude." I'm not actually sure what the means but it ends in Farrah getting out of the car and calling her grandparents who take her car shopping instead.

It ends with Farrah talking about what she's learned, showing baby pics, yadda yadda yadda, then saying "Peace out." And me sort of feeling like I need a stiff drink. And maybe I need to stop saying Peace out as well.