Dear Amanda Bynes,
According to the internet which is rarely known to lie, you are interested in Doug Reinhardt, who is not known for playing baseball but is known for being on The Hills. Have you seen him on The Hills? He's kind of a d-bag. You are far too cute to be dating a d-bag like him. I mean, you seem like someone I'd want to hang out with, whereas he seems like if someone who I'd end up wanting to punch in the small of his back which I imagine would hurt somewhat. So please, don't date Doug from The Hills. Hey, is Andy Samberg single? You should date him! He's hilarious!
Someone who thinks she sort of knows you based on the fact that she's seen What a Girl Wants about, oh, 35 times.