I'll show you what a second wife does

Oh so many things... Whitney's leaving, yes it's sad but not so much for us because we'll see her weekly so I'm not spending much time on her except to say, "what up with your wack-a-doo cindy loo who hair at your party, whit?!" Interesting that she once again called it "the city". We get it Mtv, The City starts December 29th at 9 pm central time.

Moving on. The wedding...oh lord I think I'll begin with the fact that we found out that Heidi was drunk when she and Spencer decided to get married in Cabo. I totally knew it. One tip to future brides, you want to be glowing on your big day and not feeling "totally hung over". Spencer's big convincing speech was about how he's "madly obsessed" (you don't say!) and how she makes him want to be nicer. If this is Spencer nice...I don' even know how to finish that sentence. So patron'd Heidi agrees to tell "no one" (except their close secret keeping friends at US Weekly). She ends the conversation with the ever so classy line, "I'll show you what a wife does." I was under the impression that wives put out less but hey maybe regular sex was in the vows.

Previews for next week show Spencer threatening Heidi's mom with being her son now and Lauren hugging Heidi. Both teasers make me want to puke equally.

I'm thinking that I should've tried out to be on Brody Jenner's Bromance (which also begins on Dec 29th, I got it Mtv cause I don't even want to know how you'd work that in) because maybe then I'd have been able to break into this circle of friend and tell them what up. And maybe I could borrow some clothes while I'm at it.