OK, so Alli and I had a sleepover last nite that included watching 2 episodes of season 4 of Lost which re-brought up so very many, many questions. Before we delved into that life ruining past time of ours, however, we ended up watching...A Double Shot at Love. With...The Ikki Twins. What, one may ask, are Ikki Twins? Well, apparently they're blond bisexual twins who decided they should team up and do the whole house full of straight guys and lesbians competeing for their pure, pure love just like Tila Tequila did. I never did remember to catch either of old Tila's seasons. Catching this season premiere reaffirmed why I didn't try harder to remember. I could only sit through such a monstrousity to giggle at it with Alli. It included the lesbians dressing up like sexy animals (?) and the douchebag, douchebag straighty boys who all look like Abercrombie and Bitches and have made up jobs like Party Promoter. (Hey, come to a party! My hair suuucks!) Of course to add a fun twist Vikki and Rikki Ikki didn't reveal at first that they were twins and instead switched off places to fool everyone. Oh, the deceit! The treachery! They finally reveal their secret at the end of the show. Of course first Ikki or other Ikki tried to be all dramatic about it and keep repeating, "I have a secret" and then the awesome "I was born with another part" which led everyone to speculate that she either had 3 nipples or was a man (as Alli pointed out, no way was there room to pack heat in her skanky bikini bottom). It also led to quote #1 of the evening, when immediately after her statement of having another part, a blond Blayne from Project Runway look-a-like said in apparently distress or panicky shame, "I kissed her last night!" Quote #2 went to the last lesbian eliminated from the evening, who responded to Ikki or Other Ikki's statement of just not feeling a click with the flippant response of "That must be because I'm straight." Leading Alli and I to laugh and Ikki or Other Ikki to tear up. Apparently Fame Whore Straighty Girl was infringing on Ikkis' quests for true loves. Go figure.
Actually typing about this makes me feel like I need to shower away the shame remembering one Ikki watch the other Ikki make out with the contestants or whatever they are and looking way too interested. Although what else can I expect from bisexual twins looking for love in all the MTV places? Yeah, time for a shower. A scalding one.