Exhibit 1. At work on Monday, I asked my fellow closer co-worker if he remembered what day it was as every Monday we empty the olive oil bottles. Having worked with me several Mondays by now, he thought for a few seconds, then responded hopefully, "The Hills are on?"
Exhibit 2. I was texting with my friend Jackie in L.A. who said she was thinking of applying to the Pratt Institute and my immediate response was "Spencer Pratt?" (As it turns out there's a Pratt Institute in Cali.)
Friday, October 31, 2008
After the pumpkins comes the tofurkey!
Mick says after Halloween we have to take a break from horror movies. I say, what kind of theme can we invent for Thanksgiving? So I'm trying to cram in a lot of scurry today. Bravo has two versions of their scurry movie countdown. Since they haven't done one for awhile I thought I would throw some things out there. So here are...
Alison's Scurry Moments.
Donnie Darko: Anytime the satanic bunny appears on the screen. I think his name is Frank. Frank the Satanic Bunny! You can't make this stuff up! Well, I mean, they did, but you know.
The Descent: This is a toss-up between the first moment you see The Cave Dwellers and when you think Sarah is maybe dead but suddenly emerges from the pool of blood. (Good metal band name: Pool of Blood.)
The Strangers: Shiz really starts to go down when the record player suddenly skips. Bonus points for having a record player.
The Lake House: When Sandra Bullock is racing to send the last letter and you're not sure if she's going to make it in time--that freaks me out. I mean, what if she doesn't make it? The whole thing would be screwed! I'm not kidding. You think I'm kidding?
Lost: Desmond has a small amount of time to get ahold of Penny on Christmas Eve. He showed up at her house years ago and told her she has to answer the phone in the future. The phone is ringing and ringing. What if she doesn't answer? I could have peed my pants I was so scurred. This is why I watch that show while clutching on to a blanket.
Gilmore Girls: When Kirk and Luke appear before the Town Elders in the sauna, Kirk is wearing only a towel. And his stomach--oh god it's scurry. It seriously looks like dude's stomach in Alien before the creature pops out. Actually an alien inhabitting Kirk's body would explain quite a bit, now that I think about it...
Alison's Scurry Moments.
Donnie Darko: Anytime the satanic bunny appears on the screen. I think his name is Frank. Frank the Satanic Bunny! You can't make this stuff up! Well, I mean, they did, but you know.
The Descent: This is a toss-up between the first moment you see The Cave Dwellers and when you think Sarah is maybe dead but suddenly emerges from the pool of blood. (Good metal band name: Pool of Blood.)
The Strangers: Shiz really starts to go down when the record player suddenly skips. Bonus points for having a record player.
The Lake House: When Sandra Bullock is racing to send the last letter and you're not sure if she's going to make it in time--that freaks me out. I mean, what if she doesn't make it? The whole thing would be screwed! I'm not kidding. You think I'm kidding?
Lost: Desmond has a small amount of time to get ahold of Penny on Christmas Eve. He showed up at her house years ago and told her she has to answer the phone in the future. The phone is ringing and ringing. What if she doesn't answer? I could have peed my pants I was so scurred. This is why I watch that show while clutching on to a blanket.
Gilmore Girls: When Kirk and Luke appear before the Town Elders in the sauna, Kirk is wearing only a towel. And his stomach--oh god it's scurry. It seriously looks like dude's stomach in Alien before the creature pops out. Actually an alien inhabitting Kirk's body would explain quite a bit, now that I think about it...
Quote of the day, commercial edition
"I gave my fat clothes to all my fat friends!" -Dude in a magic weight loss pill commercial.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Hills: The DVR Edition
Thanks to my DVR I am able to catch my fave shows fashionably late. Yeah, I gotta avoid spoilers, such as my friend Alison's last post, but hey- at least I don't have to watch commercials! Though as I type this I am watching a commercial break from the Hills. Cell phone commercial- big news.
Anyway- I know Alison went through this, but I need a turn too.
Another luxury my DVR affords me is the ability to rewind my shows. Regardless of how many times I rewind, I am still not sure what Justin Bobby is trying to say. He remotely is interested in Audrina and it's a Catch 22 that he needs to spend time with someone to be in a relationship AND he enjoys 90% of the time he spends with Audrina. That's a toughie dude- good luck with that one. Total Catch 22.
Audrina's convo with her co-worker:
Coworker: Brandy was cool, right?
Audrina: (something to the effect of) I feel bad that I left to talk to Justin.
Yeah- that was a real bummer. Brandy was totally flowing on her new song but when Audrina left, the whole thing really just fell apart. That Brandy had a good thing going but since Audrina walked out of the studio I heard things just really went south. And now I will never see the Moesha reunion I have always dreamed of. Now THAT'S a Catch 22. Right?
P.S. Audrina's coworker lamented that it must be so hard that everytime Audrina is not with JB he just comes and "Sweeps her off her feet." Really? REALLY?? I feel quite sad for this Chiara person that she thinks pulling up all dirty on a motorcycle and saying that "I will pretty much always be there for you" is being swept off one's feet.
Anyway- I know Alison went through this, but I need a turn too.
Another luxury my DVR affords me is the ability to rewind my shows. Regardless of how many times I rewind, I am still not sure what Justin Bobby is trying to say. He remotely is interested in Audrina and it's a Catch 22 that he needs to spend time with someone to be in a relationship AND he enjoys 90% of the time he spends with Audrina. That's a toughie dude- good luck with that one. Total Catch 22.
Audrina's convo with her co-worker:
Coworker: Brandy was cool, right?
Audrina: (something to the effect of) I feel bad that I left to talk to Justin.
Yeah- that was a real bummer. Brandy was totally flowing on her new song but when Audrina left, the whole thing really just fell apart. That Brandy had a good thing going but since Audrina walked out of the studio I heard things just really went south. And now I will never see the Moesha reunion I have always dreamed of. Now THAT'S a Catch 22. Right?
P.S. Audrina's coworker lamented that it must be so hard that everytime Audrina is not with JB he just comes and "Sweeps her off her feet." Really? REALLY?? I feel quite sad for this Chiara person that she thinks pulling up all dirty on a motorcycle and saying that "I will pretty much always be there for you" is being swept off one's feet.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Hills: now with 15% more Lauren!
Finally there was at least a little more Lauren this week, including a sassy sassy pool shoving moment with Brody. Of course once again there was way too much Audrina, who is a flippin idiot. To recap: Justin shows up at her work assignment in a recording studio with Brandy (helpfully labeled under her name as "recording artist") to make yet another bid to win Audrina back which included the oh-so romantic and intelligent line, "To be in a relationship, you kinda gotta, like, be together." Oh, wow, is THAT what a relationship is? Thanks for clearing that up, SkullCap. And really how could she not want to be with him after he assures her he "will pretty much always" be there for her. That's comforting. I would swoon if a guy professed his love that way. I mean, maybe if I have something going on and you really need me I might not be able to make it, but most of the time I will probably make a solid effort. Maybe. All this from a guy who incorrectly uses the phrase Catch 22 (can he even READ?) and puts together awesome outfits. No wonder Audrina dumped the cute Aussie guy who invited her to his homeland for a visit after giving her a koala! Did anybody else catch the saddy sad sack look he had after she unceremoniously gave him the heave-ho with completely lame reasons? Poor guy. It looks like Audrina's moving out anyway--I say, let's hook up Lauren with Cory. This would be a good pairing. Lauren would appreciate the koala.
And I'll tell you this much for free--Audrina's co-worker Chiara is way cooler then Audrina. She should move in the backyard villa when Audrina vamooses. That's all I'll give you for free though, rent's due soon and the pockets they are a-empty.
And I'll tell you this much for free--Audrina's co-worker Chiara is way cooler then Audrina. She should move in the backyard villa when Audrina vamooses. That's all I'll give you for free though, rent's due soon and the pockets they are a-empty.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Really? REALLY?
Paris Hilton has been invited to be one of the first passangers on the Virgin Enterprise Rocket but is concerned, what with the threat of light years and all. You know, apparently 10,000 years could pass back here on earth while they're airborne.
Really? Really?
Really? Really?
Thoughts on horror movies
Mick and I like to watch a lot of horror movies in October. It leads me to question things about people in such films:
Question 1. Why the hell do you insist on staying in that house/apartment/wherever you are that's threatening your very existence?
Question 2. Furthermore why do you insist on staying put to solve the burning mystery presented to you or to confront whatever or whoever it is haunting you? Couldn't you, say, go somewhere else and try to solve it from afar? Or perhaps hire someone else to solve it for you?
Question 3. Why do you also insist on going into dark areas when it is dark out? Don't tell me it's because you want to investigate what's going on as I will immediately re-direct you back to Question 2.
Question 4. At what point did it seem like a good idea to take that short cut or go off the map? Or accept help from the person who gives you a slightly eerie feeling but hey, why not trust them anyway?
Question 5. How come zombies don't gain weight after all of those people they eat? Are people low in calories and fat? Come to think of it, you don't often see overweight cannibals...
Question 6. Are there really inbred back-wood hillbilly freaks around in the middle of the woods? Should the government maybe be looking into this seeing as how they apparently lure idiots dump enough to go off the map--oh, wait a minute. You went off the map so it's your problem now! OK, false alarm, government. Go about your life-ruining business.
Question 1. Why the hell do you insist on staying in that house/apartment/wherever you are that's threatening your very existence?
Question 2. Furthermore why do you insist on staying put to solve the burning mystery presented to you or to confront whatever or whoever it is haunting you? Couldn't you, say, go somewhere else and try to solve it from afar? Or perhaps hire someone else to solve it for you?
Question 3. Why do you also insist on going into dark areas when it is dark out? Don't tell me it's because you want to investigate what's going on as I will immediately re-direct you back to Question 2.
Question 4. At what point did it seem like a good idea to take that short cut or go off the map? Or accept help from the person who gives you a slightly eerie feeling but hey, why not trust them anyway?
Question 5. How come zombies don't gain weight after all of those people they eat? Are people low in calories and fat? Come to think of it, you don't often see overweight cannibals...
Question 6. Are there really inbred back-wood hillbilly freaks around in the middle of the woods? Should the government maybe be looking into this seeing as how they apparently lure idiots dump enough to go off the map--oh, wait a minute. You went off the map so it's your problem now! OK, false alarm, government. Go about your life-ruining business.
Charlie's brother is a jerk.
Last night didn't re-open any burning questions for me on Lost (although it did get bumped back to 12:05). Well, except what does "You all everybody" by Driveshaft mean? Do they mean we all as individual people are the same as everybody else? Or are they just trying to get our attention in a grammatically incorrect way?
It did inspire me to read up on the show on Wikipedia and IMDB and in case you care (which you should, because it is the awesomest show) I will now share it with you. One constant (a ha!) is that a lot of the roles in their original imagining were changed based on auditions. Like Charlie's character was supposed to be an older rock has-been but they changed it because they liked Dominic. Hurley's character was created after Jorge Garcia auditioned for someone else but they liked him so much, they made Hurley. The actress who plays Sun auditioned for Kate but again, they liked her not for that role and created Sun. Kate was supposed to be more like Rose's character but was re-written. Kate was also supposed to originally take over as leader of the group when Jack was written to die off in the first episode; this was of course changed. Because of that Michael Keaton, who was originally approached for the role of Jack, declined as he didn't want the long-term gig. Ben Henry was also added in more because they enjoyed his performance so much, that stupid smug ass. And my personal fav bit of trivia--Sawyer's character was first envisioned as a slick suit-wearing con man; then Josh Holloway forgot his line during his audition and proceeded to kick his chair and start swearing. Luckily this was so endearing to the creators that they re-wrote the role for him.
Sadly there was no trivia about Desmond. It's a shame, brotha.
(Please note that bearing with these posts recycling old episodes will better prepare you for when the next season begins as Alli and I get a bit obsessive. In fact if our Kate ever disappears it's because we kidnapped her and forced her to watch all preceding seasons.)
It did inspire me to read up on the show on Wikipedia and IMDB and in case you care (which you should, because it is the awesomest show) I will now share it with you. One constant (a ha!) is that a lot of the roles in their original imagining were changed based on auditions. Like Charlie's character was supposed to be an older rock has-been but they changed it because they liked Dominic. Hurley's character was created after Jorge Garcia auditioned for someone else but they liked him so much, they made Hurley. The actress who plays Sun auditioned for Kate but again, they liked her not for that role and created Sun. Kate was supposed to be more like Rose's character but was re-written. Kate was also supposed to originally take over as leader of the group when Jack was written to die off in the first episode; this was of course changed. Because of that Michael Keaton, who was originally approached for the role of Jack, declined as he didn't want the long-term gig. Ben Henry was also added in more because they enjoyed his performance so much, that stupid smug ass. And my personal fav bit of trivia--Sawyer's character was first envisioned as a slick suit-wearing con man; then Josh Holloway forgot his line during his audition and proceeded to kick his chair and start swearing. Luckily this was so endearing to the creators that they re-wrote the role for him.
Sadly there was no trivia about Desmond. It's a shame, brotha.
(Please note that bearing with these posts recycling old episodes will better prepare you for when the next season begins as Alli and I get a bit obsessive. In fact if our Kate ever disappears it's because we kidnapped her and forced her to watch all preceding seasons.)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Alleys as far as the eye can see
I don't want to be one of those people who say "I've been so busy lately!" insinuating that I am important, influential and involved in many things. I feel like I have been busy lately, but I can't really figure out what I have been busy doing. I am on this medication and I am pretty sure it is making my brain not work good. I gotta look into that.
I took the next week off work; I need a break. There are several projects I plan on completing, hopefully not to the point stress, because it is vacation.
I am hoping the next week will provide me time and inspiration to catch up here- explore some burning questions and reveal some epiphanies. But first I need more sleep.
I took the next week off work; I need a break. There are several projects I plan on completing, hopefully not to the point stress, because it is vacation.
I am hoping the next week will provide me time and inspiration to catch up here- explore some burning questions and reveal some epiphanies. But first I need more sleep.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Quote of the day
Alison: I don't know which pants I should wear today.
Mick: What about your traveling ones?
Mick: What about your traveling ones?
Friday, October 24, 2008
Memos to The Hills boys:
Memo to Frankie: Ahhh, poor Frankie. Did you not get the memo we sent about how in boy hot tub scenes everyone will be wearing backwards baseball caps and sunglasses?
Memo to Doug: All girls are shady, huh? Not boys though. Like that totally un-shady time you asked Stephanie out, right? Just so you know making sweeping statements like that are a dead giveaway that you're currently not getting any, haven't gotten any for awhile and furthermore will not be getting any anytime soon. But hey, nice backwards cap and sunglasses in the hot tub!
Memo to Justin: Appearing to do jaw-stretching exercises during "serious" conversations in an attempt to look cool fails miserably. Every.Time.
Memo to Brody: Um...happy belated birthday? Yeah, I got nothing. You're pretty boring, dude. P.S. your boyfriends are tools.
Memo to Doug: All girls are shady, huh? Not boys though. Like that totally un-shady time you asked Stephanie out, right? Just so you know making sweeping statements like that are a dead giveaway that you're currently not getting any, haven't gotten any for awhile and furthermore will not be getting any anytime soon. But hey, nice backwards cap and sunglasses in the hot tub!
Memo to Justin: Appearing to do jaw-stretching exercises during "serious" conversations in an attempt to look cool fails miserably. Every.Time.
Memo to Brody: Um...happy belated birthday? Yeah, I got nothing. You're pretty boring, dude. P.S. your boyfriends are tools.
When worlds collide: The Hills/Hollywood Siblings additon.
OK so I'm watching The Hills: The Lost Scenes. I'm only seeing the second half as I had to first finish re-runs of Bam's Unholy Union on MTV 501 or however many channels they have now. So far this second 30 of the show is a lot of Audrina, blah. Like apparently she got tested for allergies and found out she's allergic to cats--and then proceeded to get Lauren's cat shaved without consulting Lauren. Nice, Audrina...Wait, Lauren has a cat?
They also had a montage of Audrina's string of dates that led nowhere. I really didn't do much dating but I'm relieved to be in a relationship and out of the dating thing. OK, out of the chasing boys thing. Anyway apparently during season 1 she went on a date with...Shannon Leto! Shannon Leto is totally in the band 30 Seconds to Mars and was also Shane (I had no idea that was his character name, I IMDB'd it just now) on My So-Called Life--you know, the vaguely lost looking, mono-syllabic pretty dude who hung around Jordan Catalano like a puppy. He made some great "Go ahead, man. You want to ditch me to hang out with the red head? See if I care. I'll go find Tino" faces during the infamous Boiler Room epsiode when Jordan finally sees the light at the end. And in case you're not catching on to last names, he happens to be Jared's brother. They look alike if you study them. Not that I care to look way from Jared. Thank god he and Audrina never worked out. Jared Leto's big brother deserves way cooler then some chick who gets other people's cats shaved. Can I get an amen?
They also had a montage of Audrina's string of dates that led nowhere. I really didn't do much dating but I'm relieved to be in a relationship and out of the dating thing. OK, out of the chasing boys thing. Anyway apparently during season 1 she went on a date with...Shannon Leto! Shannon Leto is totally in the band 30 Seconds to Mars and was also Shane (I had no idea that was his character name, I IMDB'd it just now) on My So-Called Life--you know, the vaguely lost looking, mono-syllabic pretty dude who hung around Jordan Catalano like a puppy. He made some great "Go ahead, man. You want to ditch me to hang out with the red head? See if I care. I'll go find Tino" faces during the infamous Boiler Room epsiode when Jordan finally sees the light at the end. And in case you're not catching on to last names, he happens to be Jared's brother. They look alike if you study them. Not that I care to look way from Jared. Thank god he and Audrina never worked out. Jared Leto's big brother deserves way cooler then some chick who gets other people's cats shaved. Can I get an amen?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Me Talk Political Today
“I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."
- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters
Love Him!
- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters
Love Him!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
An oldie but a goodie.
OK, I can't remember why this came into my head but it did. I tried to find Chris Kattan's envelope song to go with it but no luck. Although I do remember the lyrics "Envelope, couldn't be any thinner/Open up to see who da winna."
Celeb sitings 101
My brother, what with living in L.A. and working in The Industry, is excellent at keeping me up with his random celeb sitings. When I lived there I had some all right ones. I saw Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese but this wasn't necessarily random since it was his art opening and can I add A) I would kill for her skin and B) he is an idiot for leaving her for Evan Rachel Wood. I worked at a frozen yogurt shop for a bit and saw the following: Mike Tyson (scurry), Jason Bateman (several times), Jason Biggs, Drew Barrymoore (who truly should just have cartoon bluebirds of happiness flying around her head), Rosario Dawson (gorgeous!) and the counselor from My So-called Life, who I made sure to inform I was very depressed after the show was cancelled. I also once sold a Black Rebel Motorcycle Club t-shirt to Frankie Shorty Short Short Muniz for his lady friend, equally shorty short. My brother and I have now both seen Steve Perry, although his siting was in a Staples Parking lot whereas mine was handing him frozen yogurt across the counter while trying not to burst out with useless Journey stories like "Oh my gosh Steve Perry this one time my friends Weez and Jordan sang 'Wheel in the Sky' at Wednesday ngiht karoke at the Moose Lodge and we all waved our fists and sang along!".
So anyway yesterday my brother sent me a text saying that he saw...Audrina from The Hills! Apparently in person you can better see how gifted she is the chest endowment department. He didn't mention Justin Bobby. Which is probably just as well. The combination siting of the 2 would probably have given him gonorrhea of the eyes or something.
So anyway yesterday my brother sent me a text saying that he saw...Audrina from The Hills! Apparently in person you can better see how gifted she is the chest endowment department. He didn't mention Justin Bobby. Which is probably just as well. The combination siting of the 2 would probably have given him gonorrhea of the eyes or something.
Monday, October 20, 2008
More Lost musings
Apparently the local ABC station really wants to test my dedication to Lost as they have now bumped the re-runs from 12:05 A.M. Monday morning to 12:35 (following a re-run of America's Home Videos, what a pair!). But I showed them. I still stayed up and watched! Bring it on, ABC. Bump it up to 1:05 after a block of Home Improvement for all I care!
Anyway random moment from last night, after the bee attack Kate discovers 2 decomposed dead bodies in the caves near the fresh water. Jack finds a pouch with one black stone and one white stone in it in one of their pockets. Re-watching it reveals all of these random things I feel like we'll never know. Not that it will matter in the big scheme of things, as long as the major things are answered. But it might be cool if they pop in explanations of things like that. Maybe they think we forgot! Well, I mean, technically I did. It's not like during the last season I was breathlessly awaiting an explanation for The Mystery Of The Stones In The Dead Dude's Pocket. Maybe I can wrangle my way on the writing team. "OK, guys, hear me out. So next season, Jin is discovered alive and he reveals that black and white stones originally found in the first season symbolize the good and the evil! The yin and the yang! And the bodies were cave people! Ones that raised polar bears!...Oh, um, and he apparently magically learned English at some point. How? Ah...let me get back to you on that one."
Anyway random moment from last night, after the bee attack Kate discovers 2 decomposed dead bodies in the caves near the fresh water. Jack finds a pouch with one black stone and one white stone in it in one of their pockets. Re-watching it reveals all of these random things I feel like we'll never know. Not that it will matter in the big scheme of things, as long as the major things are answered. But it might be cool if they pop in explanations of things like that. Maybe they think we forgot! Well, I mean, technically I did. It's not like during the last season I was breathlessly awaiting an explanation for The Mystery Of The Stones In The Dead Dude's Pocket. Maybe I can wrangle my way on the writing team. "OK, guys, hear me out. So next season, Jin is discovered alive and he reveals that black and white stones originally found in the first season symbolize the good and the evil! The yin and the yang! And the bodies were cave people! Ones that raised polar bears!...Oh, um, and he apparently magically learned English at some point. How? Ah...let me get back to you on that one."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Love you like a fat kid love Kanye
A new reality show will be premiering in November, "50 cent the Money and the Power." It looks similar to every other reality show but this one they're competing to do something for 50 cent. In the commercial, when 50 (if I may call him that) lets a competitor go he says something like "I can't trust you with my money". Are they competing to be his accountants?
My biggest question is this: What power does 50 have?
My biggest question is this: What power does 50 have?
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Are you foaming at the mouth or just brushing your teeth? I need to know before I aim for your brain.
OK, so yesterday I decided to go see Quarantine. As I walked in I remembered how at The Strangers which scared the holy hell out of me and best believe I will be purchasing it on Tuesday when it comes out, a family sat in front of us. With their 3 SMALL CHILDREN. And I said I'm going to say something! and Mick said no you're not! and of course at Quarantine after I sat in the row behind 3 obnoxious boys, who should enter? Oh yes, a family with young children. And yes, they sat behind me. I gave up shortly after and moved forward several rows, partly to be closer and partly to escape my surroundings. I am a 28 year old who swears by the Texas Chainsaw Masscare (the original!) and both The Strangers and Quarantine freaked me out. I hope their kids have nightmares they have to deal with so they can realize you do not take your kids to horror movies. Granted my parents never let us see anything growing up so that affects how I feel, but regardless, kids don't need to see that shiz. I didn't and I turned out just fine! and loving movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Anyway I liked the movie. It scurred me. Towards the end it became a sort of cross between Blair Witch and The Descent. And it featured a random cast of b-list actors such as Jennifer Carpenter (aka Emily Rose), Jay Hernandez (first seen in Crazy Beautiful, then nothing until Hostel), one of the lawyers from Ally McBeal as the dude in the apartment who isn't a medical doctor but! is a vet so therefore qualified to act as a sort of doctor, and Christina Applegate's ex sporting a Burt Reynold's porn stache. All that was missing was a singer or rapper looking to break into film.
P.S. to the actor who played Luke Danes, I know times is tough but were Saw 4 AND 5 really necessay? Like Lorelai would even go those!
Anyway I liked the movie. It scurred me. Towards the end it became a sort of cross between Blair Witch and The Descent. And it featured a random cast of b-list actors such as Jennifer Carpenter (aka Emily Rose), Jay Hernandez (first seen in Crazy Beautiful, then nothing until Hostel), one of the lawyers from Ally McBeal as the dude in the apartment who isn't a medical doctor but! is a vet so therefore qualified to act as a sort of doctor, and Christina Applegate's ex sporting a Burt Reynold's porn stache. All that was missing was a singer or rapper looking to break into film.
P.S. to the actor who played Luke Danes, I know times is tough but were Saw 4 AND 5 really necessay? Like Lorelai would even go those!
Hmmm.
Mick and I were finishing a movie so we only saw the last 2 minutes of Sarah Palin on SNL. We figured we could see the whole thing on internet anyway. What we saw was funny I guess, though moreso because it was Alec Baldwin. I have mixed feelings about her being on. I always thought it was kind of cool that for the most part the actors on SNL seem to be democratic but still give equal access to Republican candidates to make appearances and poke fun of themselves. I think what truly bothers me is that as a woman, I do not like her. I don't like her at all. I remember when Elizabeth Dole came to our college campus and my immediate feeling was, as a feminist, I don't endorse her because she's a woman--I don't endorse at all because I am a woman. It's the same way with Sarah Palin. Would it be cool if a woman become president or vice-president? Absolutely--if she was pro-woman. Dole wasn't. Palin certainly isn't.
Right after we finished the skit I went on-line and this was on Perez. It kind of confirmed for me why I was bothered she was on SNL. Men run for office all of the time. When a woman runs for office it's more significant--especially when she becomes the men she's running with. Truly I believe the fact that she would be vice president would bother me more then McCain being president, because in my mind, she is a betrayl to our gender.
Right after we finished the skit I went on-line and this was on Perez. It kind of confirmed for me why I was bothered she was on SNL. Men run for office all of the time. When a woman runs for office it's more significant--especially when she becomes the men she's running with. Truly I believe the fact that she would be vice president would bother me more then McCain being president, because in my mind, she is a betrayl to our gender.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial...
I had this song in my head the entire day. I was eating lunch and this was going through my head. I baked brownies and this was going through my head. Reading about the bubonic plague and this was going through my head. Seriously though, it's comedic genius:
The Eyeshadow should not read this until ready.
I re-watched The Project Runway finale last night and even the b.f. Mick got into it, realizing early on that Kenley is slightly unhinged and LeeAnne is awesome (though he also christened her Dr. Teeth). And I, personally, am glad that J.Lo supposedly had to back out due to a foot injury (then mysteriously competed in a triathalon shortly after...) because otherwise we may have never gotten to hear Heidi introduce special guest judge Tim as "a hot hottie" in her fleeting German accent. They're the cutest couple since Will and Grace. So anyway
*SPOILER ALERT!*SPOILER ALERT!*SPOILER ALERT!*
(that's how they do it in mags and on-line anyway)
I was rooting for LeeAnne and her collection definetely reminded me why. It was goregous and cohesive and she so deserved the win she was awarded. Kenley's was charming as one judge remarked but did have some Balenciaga to it (incldued in this link are the gladiator boots that all the fashion mags went ga-ga over and featured far too heavily in my opinion as they are ugly city). And Korto's was good and did include 2 Top Modelites (Bianca and Danni) but just lacked the sophistication of LeeAnne's. I would totally rock her clothes if I was sophisticated. I mean the wave moments on the skirts would hide both The Bulge and The Flat Ass (did I mention the butt implants b.f. keeps playfully suggesting? I'm no Miss New Booty over herr).
In conclusion, yes, I'm sure it's a bit heartbreaking to make a whole collection and not win the competition, but think about how far you made it, the opportuinity you were given. Try to factor that in to your post-losing camera face time and be a little more graceful. There's better ways to deal with disappointment then once again lamenting the judges pointing out the harsh truth to you (Kenley, who likes to deem everything bullsh*t) or using the phrase "My heart is bleeding" (Korto) which is a phrase much better reserved for mooning over other things, like if I were to say, "JustinBobby claiming to have gotten it on with Lauren? My heart is bleeding for her."
*SPOILER ALERT!*SPOILER ALERT!*SPOILER ALERT!*
(that's how they do it in mags and on-line anyway)
I was rooting for LeeAnne and her collection definetely reminded me why. It was goregous and cohesive and she so deserved the win she was awarded. Kenley's was charming as one judge remarked but did have some Balenciaga to it (incldued in this link are the gladiator boots that all the fashion mags went ga-ga over and featured far too heavily in my opinion as they are ugly city). And Korto's was good and did include 2 Top Modelites (Bianca and Danni) but just lacked the sophistication of LeeAnne's. I would totally rock her clothes if I was sophisticated. I mean the wave moments on the skirts would hide both The Bulge and The Flat Ass (did I mention the butt implants b.f. keeps playfully suggesting? I'm no Miss New Booty over herr).
In conclusion, yes, I'm sure it's a bit heartbreaking to make a whole collection and not win the competition, but think about how far you made it, the opportuinity you were given. Try to factor that in to your post-losing camera face time and be a little more graceful. There's better ways to deal with disappointment then once again lamenting the judges pointing out the harsh truth to you (Kenley, who likes to deem everything bullsh*t) or using the phrase "My heart is bleeding" (Korto) which is a phrase much better reserved for mooning over other things, like if I were to say, "JustinBobby claiming to have gotten it on with Lauren? My heart is bleeding for her."
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Quotes of the day
"F.Y. in your eye."
"Work rhymes with jerk." Both Selma Blair on the brill new show, Kath and Kim.
"Work rhymes with jerk." Both Selma Blair on the brill new show, Kath and Kim.
Ah, memories
So, for whatever reason I had "Crazy Train" by Sabbath stuck in my head today, which made me think of The Osbournes show since that had it for a theme song, which made me think of watching in the Rathskeller at school with Traci where we first heard the classic Kelly Osbourne line: "My car, my teeth, my vagina, my business!"
Oh, how we laughed.
Oh, how we laughed.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
An open letter to MTV
Dear MTV,
You should please consider putting the following shows on DVD:
The Ashlee Simpson Show. Sure, I no longer heart her the way I did before the whole plastic surgery after appearing in Marie Claire to empower girls on how they look thing. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love to relive the good old days when she was my main lady.
Making the Band 3. Maybe it's the nostalgia all of this Danity Kane craziness that's going on right now, but that show was awesome. Between Laurie Ann boomkatting all over the place and the magic that always comes with assembling a large group of girls in a pressure-filled sitch, it was good times.
Bam's Unholy Union. Uh, I don't really have a specific reason for this beyond the fact that it was funny as hell. Any show that features a good-looking woman pausing mid-Playboy shoot with a skateboard over her chest featuring her husband-to-be's name on it to field frantic repeated calls from their wedding planner is A-OK with me.
Love, Alison.
Yes, I do realize I have posted thee things in a row. But work doesn't start until 4 and I have to watch my MTV trash while the bf is still asleep and can't dog me. Oh no! He just got up and Making the Band 4 isn't over yet! Peace out.
You should please consider putting the following shows on DVD:
The Ashlee Simpson Show. Sure, I no longer heart her the way I did before the whole plastic surgery after appearing in Marie Claire to empower girls on how they look thing. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love to relive the good old days when she was my main lady.
Making the Band 3. Maybe it's the nostalgia all of this Danity Kane craziness that's going on right now, but that show was awesome. Between Laurie Ann boomkatting all over the place and the magic that always comes with assembling a large group of girls in a pressure-filled sitch, it was good times.
Bam's Unholy Union. Uh, I don't really have a specific reason for this beyond the fact that it was funny as hell. Any show that features a good-looking woman pausing mid-Playboy shoot with a skateboard over her chest featuring her husband-to-be's name on it to field frantic repeated calls from their wedding planner is A-OK with me.
Love, Alison.
Yes, I do realize I have posted thee things in a row. But work doesn't start until 4 and I have to watch my MTV trash while the bf is still asleep and can't dog me. Oh no! He just got up and Making the Band 4 isn't over yet! Peace out.
Gilmore re-run quotes of the day
"I have given you the Lincoln Logs, now it's up to you to build the cabin." Luke to Kirk, the most awkwardly endearing bromance to date.
"Does the dress say slutty?" Lorelai.
"No, but the person inside the dress..." Rory.
"You're breaking up! The house is going through a tunnel!" Lorelai.
"Does the dress say slutty?" Lorelai.
"No, but the person inside the dress..." Rory.
"You're breaking up! The house is going through a tunnel!" Lorelai.
The Hills have eyes...and have burned mine.
All right. I prefer it when The Hills centers around Lauren. And when Lo and Whitney get more airtime. I wish Whitney was featured more then mid-episode working with Lauren serving as a sort-of "let's recap what's going on so far!" moment. And granted I was over Lo for awhile there, but now I'm missing the once weekly times when she would say something appalling, Lauren's mouth would drop open, Lo would shrug and get that "sorry but it's true!" look on her face, then the wacky wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa, dramatic noise music and...cut to commercial! I'm definitely over Audrina. And while her new Austrailian boytoy is a big improvement over JustinBobby (not that it takes much), maybe someone should suggest to him that a white baseball cap paired with a white button-down shirt is a tad bit blinding. Though an exact oppsoite of JustinBobby's normal black flannelish attire...Hmmm. A boy fashion play on good and evil, perhaps?
And L.B.H., Frankie and Doug are like girls the way they run around stirring up drama. (It occurs to me that I probably shouldn't stereotype girls like that, but seriously, the guys I hang out with don't gossip and plant thoughts the way that these guys do. I mean I don't think I do that either. Sure I gossip, but...whatever. They're like stereotypable girls. There. I made up a word AND I didn't abandon my gender.) (Much.)
In conclusion, to refer back to title of my post...JustinBobby naked in a pool. My eyes! My eyes! Would Listerine get this burning sensation out?
(Side note, Pink is an evil genius for her new single, the multiple na na's insure that it's stuck in my head for at least an hour after I hear it on the radio.)
And L.B.H., Frankie and Doug are like girls the way they run around stirring up drama. (It occurs to me that I probably shouldn't stereotype girls like that, but seriously, the guys I hang out with don't gossip and plant thoughts the way that these guys do. I mean I don't think I do that either. Sure I gossip, but...whatever. They're like stereotypable girls. There. I made up a word AND I didn't abandon my gender.) (Much.)
In conclusion, to refer back to title of my post...JustinBobby naked in a pool. My eyes! My eyes! Would Listerine get this burning sensation out?
(Side note, Pink is an evil genius for her new single, the multiple na na's insure that it's stuck in my head for at least an hour after I hear it on the radio.)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
No more Bitchassness or I heart Michelle Obama
Am I the only one confused by the live finale of Making the Band? To quickly recap the end, Diddy meets with the girls and says, "I do what I want" and "Aubrey you out, D. Woods you can go with her" then leaves. Aubrey and D. say goodbye while the other girls are left stunned and are called back to get a group hug from Diddy. Maybe, had we been clued into the problems the girls were having, this conclusion would've made sense. As we were not ever shown any arguments or mistrust, I'm left completely sideswiped and thinking Diddy sounds like a douche. I'm also confused as to why the three girls left didn't ban together and say "This is our group and if they're not in it, we're not in it". Didn't we learn anything from the Friends casts' million dollar paychecks? Unity can equal money and power girls.
In the final part of the show the remaining (still visibly shocked) girls are interviewed by Sway (who promises that they're will be nothing left unanswered). They say they're not sure they'd do another season of Making the Band, but I was kind of left under the impression that the drama may be for publicity and intrigue for the next season. Am i wrong? Didn't it feel sort of unanswered and cliff hangery? I think if there were no reality show, Danity Kane would be (and will be) unsuccessful and leave us with just another True Hollywood Story.
So really, at the end of the hour, the only thing I know for sure is that both Diddy and Aubrey are voting for Obama and that Aubrey thinks he's the change that we need in this world.
Thanks for that news flash.
In the final part of the show the remaining (still visibly shocked) girls are interviewed by Sway (who promises that they're will be nothing left unanswered). They say they're not sure they'd do another season of Making the Band, but I was kind of left under the impression that the drama may be for publicity and intrigue for the next season. Am i wrong? Didn't it feel sort of unanswered and cliff hangery? I think if there were no reality show, Danity Kane would be (and will be) unsuccessful and leave us with just another True Hollywood Story.
So really, at the end of the hour, the only thing I know for sure is that both Diddy and Aubrey are voting for Obama and that Aubrey thinks he's the change that we need in this world.
Thanks for that news flash.
Really? Really?
A Sarah Palin supporter brought a monkey wearing an Obama sticker to a rally recently.
Really? Really?
I was under the impression we were in the year 2008...
Really? Really?
I was under the impression we were in the year 2008...
Monday, October 13, 2008
My christmas list starts here
I have to give complete credit for this to my awesome bf Mick. And best believe I will one day be sporting this shirt.
Lost re-runs: re-ruining my life
The local ABC station is running Lost again from the beginning every Sunday at midnight o' five.
I was a Lost fiend from the very beginning, mostly because I had no cable in the hole of the house I was living in overrun by cats and their owners who did things like put their bird in the bathroom when they wanted to sleep in. Eventually I made Alli get into it too, which connected us across the country when I lived in L.A. and we would send each other heartwarming messages like, "I hate you for making me watch this" and "I hate you for not telling me what's going to happen since you already saw this episode" and "I hate this show."
Now that I'm rewatching I'm picking up on little things. Like the fact that when Jack finds his dad's coffin it's empty--did he perhaps come back to life due to the island's magical powers since we end up seeing him in a cabin that doesn't actually exist a few seasons later? Also, the first time through, I had a huge crush on Boone for being so man-pretty. Now, I realize, dude's kind of a d-bag. Which I really should have realized before since most of the man-pretty guys I fell for in real life turned out to be d-bags. OK, OK, fine--the not-so-man-pretty ones too.
I was a Lost fiend from the very beginning, mostly because I had no cable in the hole of the house I was living in overrun by cats and their owners who did things like put their bird in the bathroom when they wanted to sleep in. Eventually I made Alli get into it too, which connected us across the country when I lived in L.A. and we would send each other heartwarming messages like, "I hate you for making me watch this" and "I hate you for not telling me what's going to happen since you already saw this episode" and "I hate this show."
Now that I'm rewatching I'm picking up on little things. Like the fact that when Jack finds his dad's coffin it's empty--did he perhaps come back to life due to the island's magical powers since we end up seeing him in a cabin that doesn't actually exist a few seasons later? Also, the first time through, I had a huge crush on Boone for being so man-pretty. Now, I realize, dude's kind of a d-bag. Which I really should have realized before since most of the man-pretty guys I fell for in real life turned out to be d-bags. OK, OK, fine--the not-so-man-pretty ones too.
Quote of the day
"If she wins, I'm done. I can't do that for four years. And by 'I'm done,' I mean I'm leaving Earth." Tina Fey on impersonating Sarah Palin.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Really? REALLY?
According to an InTouch magazine poll, 63% of readers where shocked to learn that clay aiken is gay. *
Really? REALLY!?
*Info via KarL
Really? REALLY!?
*Info via KarL
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Under the category of: Really? REALLY?
Saw 5 opens on October 24.
Wait, Saw FIVE? Really? Really?
This has been an installment of "Really? REALLY?" Thank you.
Wait, Saw FIVE? Really? Really?
This has been an installment of "Really? REALLY?" Thank you.
You say I'm crazy, I got your crazy
Dear Brit Brit,
Thank you for getting rid of you to' up extensions (even if it's just for the few minutes of your new vid).
Watch it here: http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?artist=501686&vid=288244
Thank you for getting rid of you to' up extensions (even if it's just for the few minutes of your new vid).
Watch it here: http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?artist=501686&vid=288244
"Quote of the Day" or "My Pilot Blog"
"Who cares about the economy when the new fall TV series are premiering?!" -Conan O'Brien-
Sarah Palin = Meg White
I am reckoning this will be the first of many theories- and boy is it a good one.
I was at work yesterday and was, for some reason I can't remember, trashing Meg White. I was expressing my frustration at her lack of drumming skills and had to tune out my coworker as he was explaining her symbolic role in the White Stripes.
As I was further expounding on her inabilities to perform the task for which she was selected I had a brilliant epiphany that Meg White IS the Sarah Palin of Rock. Let's journey this path together:
-Meg White- Woefully inexperienced for the position that gained her notoriety
- Sarah Palin- ditto
-Meg White- Most likely chosen for her looks and the quirkiness of her position
- Sarah Palin- yep
-Meg White- "Signature" Meg White style, making her easy to parody when the occasion arises.
-Sarah Palin- just ask Tina Fey
-Meg White- Her career would come to a screeching halt if Jack White dies, landing her in hard times
-Sarah Palin- Yes- and with John McCain it is more plausible and it would land us in hard times
-Meg White- Virtually unheard of until she was selected to sit behind someone with talent
-Sarah Palin- I think this one is obvious
I could go on, but I am sure you can see where this is going. Leave a comment if you have other supporting evidence.
Plus, I heard that Sarah Palin and John McCain are brother and sister- or wait, I think they were married.
I was at work yesterday and was, for some reason I can't remember, trashing Meg White. I was expressing my frustration at her lack of drumming skills and had to tune out my coworker as he was explaining her symbolic role in the White Stripes.
As I was further expounding on her inabilities to perform the task for which she was selected I had a brilliant epiphany that Meg White IS the Sarah Palin of Rock. Let's journey this path together:
-Meg White- Woefully inexperienced for the position that gained her notoriety
- Sarah Palin- ditto
-Meg White- Most likely chosen for her looks and the quirkiness of her position
- Sarah Palin- yep
-Meg White- "Signature" Meg White style, making her easy to parody when the occasion arises.
-Sarah Palin- just ask Tina Fey
-Meg White- Her career would come to a screeching halt if Jack White dies, landing her in hard times
-Sarah Palin- Yes- and with John McCain it is more plausible and it would land us in hard times
-Meg White- Virtually unheard of until she was selected to sit behind someone with talent
-Sarah Palin- I think this one is obvious
I could go on, but I am sure you can see where this is going. Leave a comment if you have other supporting evidence.
Plus, I heard that Sarah Palin and John McCain are brother and sister- or wait, I think they were married.
I know, right!
OK, this is Alison. I originally met Alli working at the DQ in Fargo and I originally met Kate at Cornell College (it's a cute story, don't worry I'll tell you sometime) (and no, the irony of Kate and Ali/Alli is not lost on us). As time went on I began to realize that we all love pop culture and all watch the same things, such as The Hills on MTV and Gilmore Girls R.I.P. and various modeling shows, and all like to read trashy yet highly informative glossy periodicals, and enjoy catchy pop and hip hop music. We discuss these things on the phone, in person, and frequently over texts. And we realized that we were being selfish by keeping these great thoughts to ourselves. We realized, the world needs to know what we think about L.C. and the 2 Jays and making it work! and so on, and so forth.
So if you too like the finer things in life, this is the blog for you. If, however, you are like my boyfriend (Kate's brother, natch) and think many of these things are stupid, you can kick rocks. Love ya!
So if you too like the finer things in life, this is the blog for you. If, however, you are like my boyfriend (Kate's brother, natch) and think many of these things are stupid, you can kick rocks. Love ya!
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