As most of you know...

I love cosmetics. One of my favorite natural skin care brands is Lush. They currently have a petition on their website to stop seal hunting. Sign it. It takes two seconds.

Also in Us...

Lindsay Lohan admits to starting to go broke and says no one will hire her. (Not a shocker) She says she was told she "wasn't right" for Tim Burtons Alice and Wonderland and that she wants to collaborate with Seth Rogen but he won't call her back. (Who would?) She also says she'd like to sign with IMG modeling agency but they were quick to reply that they are not in fact in contact with her. A little awkward that she's basically pleading for a job in a magazine. I wish I could use Glamour or Marie Claire to put out my resume.

Sidebar: In the '25 things you don't know about me' section, country singer Martina McBride says, "I love, love, love Gilmore Girls, and I really want to live in Stars Hollow!" Me too sister. Me too. Maybe we should get a house and invite Linds.

Annoying but great lipstick

Kenley, from Project Runway 5, was arrested for "assault and criminal possession of a weapon after she allegedly threw a cat at her fiance." Apparently after the cat attack she also threw her laptop at him, slammed a door on his head, and threw apples and water at him. Us Weekly quoted someone as saying, "It was a breakup that went badly."

Um, yea I'll say. Crazy Bitch. I always hated her. Apparently Michael Kors wasn't surprised either.

Not to stress you out more Batgirl...

I can't say more than just read this.

NALOPKT, but now you do!

Now, maybe it's just my Catholic school upbringing, or maybe I'm just a Prudey McPruderson, but have you all heard of this new thing going around the teenagers called Sexting? I guess it's like cyber sex via text. And since it's texting there's apparently acronyms for everything. Here's a list of the top 50 every parent should know. I assume I don't need to know them, as the chances of That Girl telling me GYPO* or The Eyeshadow informing me that "IAYM**" are fairly low. At least, I hope they are or I am OOTB (I just made that up! It stands for Out Of This Blog!). My personal fav is POS--cause if someone sexts you that, you don't know if they're saying they can't talk now because there's a Parent Over Shoulder or that they won't talk period since you, my sexting friend, are a Piece Of Shiz. STBY!***


*Get your pants off.
**I am your master.
***Sucks to be you. (I made that one up too!)

Note to Self:

Maybe I should take it down a notch with the brightly colored cosmetics if I want to live my life of crime I was planning.

Bad news, good news

I am completely depressed and disheartened at the news of the flood level being raised back home AGAIN. This is the only thing that is able to lift my spirits.

Misspellings, misgivings

So I googled Lindsay to see what's up and this was one of the things found in the results: "REPORTS on Wednesday had singer Rihanna getting 'cosy' with the former boyfriend of Lindsay Lohan, Wilmer Valderrama." Gag! Gag! Gag! Thumbs up for ditching Chris; thumbs down for getting cosy with Wilmer. How does he score all these babes? Do they realize they spelled cozy wrong? Worst REPORTS ever!

Who is Thierry Mugler kidding?

Lately the only gossip I have had time for is the Us Mag website and the Dish- I don't get as much as the speculative stuff, but it is nice and condensed for me. 

So, I go to Us' site today lookin for some news and was intrigued by the headline: Beyonce's Rep: Dress Made Her Look Curvy.  Not shocking because she is a curvy lady- it's part of her charm. So, click on the link and see B in this fug dress that was apparently designed by Thierry Mugler for Jerry Hall. It is clearly designed to accentuate the hips and it is ridiculous for people to get all twittery about B gaining weight, apparently ALL in her hips cuz those things aren't proportional. So ok- people are so hyper critical about any weight changes and reps always have to respond.  

But here is the kicker when Thierry Mugler tries to convince us of the most far-fetched thing ever- the waist on the dress WAS 23 inches but Thierry had to DECREASE that to 19 INCHES for Beyonce. No. Sorry dude- you make some great perfume, but you are delusional.  There is absolutely no way that Beyonce has a 19 inch waist, unless she has an amazing series of intricate corsets and other waist cinching miracles.  Am I right? 

Where are you when we need you Batgirl??

Batgirl- there is lots of Lindsey comeback news.  Where you at? I can't process this all myself.  Is it going to work? Is it a good idea? Another train wreck in waiting? HELP!

I know Fargo needed your day-saving but it's dark out now, you are needed elsewhere. 

Really? REALLY?!

I just watched Ciara's new video for Love, Sex, and Magic with Justin Timberlake. Now, I really like the song but the video left a bad taste in my mouth. It's very sexy (hello licking Justin's ear!) but I was wondering why Ciara had to be the sexed up one. I know in a lot of male videos the female is the epitome of sex and sexiness but I always brush that off as a male fantasy, but to have Ciara dressed up as a stripper throughout the whole video for her own song seems distasteful. Since when does love, sex, and magic equal females writhing around for a (hot) man? Justin is great but he just sits there drinking in the beautiful woman then pantomimes slapping her behind. Gross. But it is a fun song.

Learning is neat.

Every once in awhile I like to randomly look up things that I like/am interested in on Wikipedia and read about their history. Does this make me a dork? Eh, I probably already was. Besides you come across some interesting facts. For example, tonight I learned that when Courtney Love was 12 years old she auditioned for The Mickey Mouse Club, though didn't make the cut since she read a Sylvia Plath poem at her audition. AND did you know that Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill and Le Tigre fame is married to...Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys! They've been together since 1997 and got married in 2006! What the heck!

An open letter to...perfume companies

Dear Perfume Companies,

Hey, you know what's a total waste of both my time and the pages of the fashion mags I read? Ads for your product with no sample. How am I supposed to know what your product smells like just by looking at the picture? And what am I supposed to line my underwear drawer with to make it smell good? Mmmm, I sure would like to smell like what this picture is portraying!

Thanks for nothing,
alison.

If you all are winners, I'm cool with loser status.

OK, I definitely appreciated The Eyeshadow's post on this last episode of The Real World, and I admit I teared up both when Obama won (I had almost forgotten about that twist!) and when Ryan got the call from his brother. But I can't sit idly by without mentioning the idiot twins, Scott and Chet. Scott isn't as bad, though his exasperated exclamation of "whether McCain wins or Obama wins, you still win cause you're an American!" was a little over my head. I know when Bush won I wasn't thinking, well, it's still cool, I still live here so we all win! The real dbag here, yet again, is Chet. Chet, babycrying over the election, saying how the Republicans didn't boo anyone! after they left the party early, when FYI they actually did boo during McCain's concession speech. But the icing on the dbag cake was clearly...

...the life size cut-out.
Yes, apparently Chet was able to live out his life-long dream of getting a life-size cut-out of himself, which he then proudly displayed high on the wall of their living quarters with a paper word bubble saying "Chet is so cool." In a prank-filled house, was anyone surprised when the elated democrat roommates came home post-victory and posted a picture of Obama's face over Chet's? Apparently Chet was! Chet was to the point that he cried art defamtion, since apparently, quote: "A life-size cut-out cardboard of myself is a piece of art." Firstly, ah, no. No, it is not. Secondly, as Ryan points out, were it actually to be considered a piece of art, cut to me gagging, YOU did exactly one thing for it which was put on your little purple scarf and pose. EVERYTHING ELSE was done by the cut-out people. Therefore, it would be THEIR art. And such a sentiment would probably have them gagging as well.

So, congratulations, Chet. Really, you've outdone yourself. I didn't think anyone could top wearing a baseball cap with their own name written on it in purple to match their purple scarf. But, no, you've one-upped even yourself this time. Or should I say, you in cardboard one-upped yourself?

Still gagging a little.

Still not easy being green

I finally watched The Dish, and I loved it. This, however, which we saw while watching said show, I could probably do without in the future, thanks.

He looks like that G.L.B. model...

Like my brother and his lady friend, I enjoy googling background information about things I am watching.  So I was googling our friend (I mean that sarcastically of course) Jay's band, Tamarama.  They were named after a beach, FYI.  Pottsy's and Jay's favorite beach in Australia.

From here I find out that Jay's ex-girlfriend is a Victoria's Secret model.  And then that lead to the revelation that Jay is a former model.  Or is he?  Well, a guy named Brent Tuhtan was a model. Yes, that's right.  JAY LYON IS BRENT TUHTAN.  Well, technically Brent Tuhtan is Jay C. N. G. Lyon.  As Alison said, it's like he has a nurse in the middle of his name.

So, in trying to find out where this info came from, I was lead here.  I'll just let you know the important part- as excerpted from the site: 

Laurence Y Payg is Britain's only professional name analyst. He makes his living advising parents on names for their offspring, and by choosing new names for people who feel they aren't getting the best out of life. His own name may seem unusual, but that's because he practices what he preaches. He changed it by deed poll to achieve his aims.

He's a professional y'all.  There is a girl he renamed Alison N. G. Day and she got a promotion the day she changed her name.  And Jay DHGNFM Lyon got on the City!  But really, what's with the Cs and Ns and Gs?  If he has studied this for 18 years you would think he would utilize the other 23 letters of the alphabet.  But I guess, if you got a good thing going.  

But honestly, if your livelihood depended on you coming up with new powerful names for people, and you boast about "practicing what you preach," one would think you would come up with a name that was pronounceable.  If I saw him in the pointless career yellow pages as a name analyst and I followed the little dotty line to that shiz, I would keep moving.  I am perfectly capable of adding pointless letters to my own name, thanks. 

 

Sincerely, 

That W.O.W.T. Girl

What could be better?

Watching The City with batgirl- it's pretty awesome to have someone besides my dog to share all of my brilliant commentary. That Olivia is seriously a bitch. 

Oh! Having Lo here too- that might be better. 

He's back!

"What are you guys going to do tonite? Take turns blogging since you'll only have one computer?" -Mick using sarcasm to hide that he's actually going to miss me during the batgirl/that girl sleepover.

This is the true story...

I have a great love/hate relationship with The Real World. I have watched faithfully since around the third season (of course I watched the first two on reruns). I think the idea of it really was groundbreaking and I think it's been a very important part of my generation's culture. The Real World was where I had my first interactions with people completely different from me. Where I grew up there wasn't a whole lot of diversity and I think seeing people from all different walks of life helped shape some of my ideas about the world (obviously my parents helped too).

I never missed an episode until we hit San Diego which is when it started being more about hook-ups and binge drinking than anything else. This continued for the next few seasons with a few bright spots (like Key West). I enjoy random drunken moments and love when cast members hook up (oh like Pam and Judd!) but I think it reflected a lot on how much times have changed for our generation. Getting toe up drunk and sexing whomever is clearly the very accepted lifestyle for us, but I need more hope for our generation.

I think this season (Brooklyn) has been just what I needed. Sure there's been some shallow behavior but we've also touched on pretty diverse subjects. Last night's episode was so great. It not only touched on the election being historic but it showed one of the cast members being called into active duty for his second tour of Iraq. (I just read that he helped guard Saddam Hussein at his trial during his first tour) It was seriously one of the most heart breaking moments I think I've ever watched on TV. I hope you can catch it in re-run at some point.

Cheers to Mtv for bringing me a little hope for our future, but I won't hold my breath as I just read that the next season is Real World: Cancun. Shoot Me.

Notes between friends

I know what you're thinking. Batgirl, Eyeshadow, you two are the only people who know what you're talking about but it's our blog so take it. Or just watch Lost because it rules my life (and my impending suicide).

So, I'll admit that it's nice to have Sawyer in the lead now because it would be repetitive otherwise BUT if Jack hadn't have been the leader in early island times they would've been effed. Imagine early Sawyer trying to lead all the crazies. They'd've been polar bear dinner for sure. (Did you notice Sawyer's teeth last night? they seemed whiter or straighter or just different). I think they made Jack a little whiney because he's sort of been dealt a weird hand throughout life and has always been responsible for other people. ( I think I'd whine too actually if I'd left my cushy doctor job to be a janitor on a shitty island that you almost died trying to leave) Also, if Jack hadn't lead we wouldn't have the phrase, "Live Together, Die Alone". I think Sawyer needed this time to be mature enough to step up and lead. Plus who can lie better than Sawyer? The most essential thing to dealing with Dharma is lie lie lie.

I do have a feeling that Kate and Sawyer will end up together though I'm still not sure what this whole living in the 70's will mean once they hit the 2000's but lets not start even start that discussion.

I can't wait for the Big Benn/Little Ben showdown. I really think that he's gonna end up being good at the end or redeem himself. It would be the ultimate bitch slap.

So now where was I? Oh yeah, either Jack or Sawyer can bite me because they are both hot and I wouldn't kick either outta bed.

La Fleur vs. La Weed

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, gee, Alison, it's cool to know your thoughts on things like The City and The Hills ("I wasn't thinking that, actually!" -this one over here) but you've been awfully mum on Lost lately! Let me help you out here. If Alli wants to disagree with what I'm about to say, so be it.

I wasn't digging last night as much for one reason: Jack. Jack is a babycrier. Sawyer is awesome. Sawyer has clearly blossomed in his time in the Dharma--and then along comes Jack to ruin his progress! Along comes Jack to whine about oh, what are we going to do now, we're stuck in the 70's! Look, man, you landed in the middle of a bad sitch and Sawyer saved your asses. Now you're going to go around provoking him with your "What's the plan?" madness and he's going to start acting cranky. Then Kate's probably going to try and steal him from Juliet! Then Little Ben is going to run into Big Ben (the asshole, not the London monument) and it's going to cause some space time contium badness like Doc Brown was talking about in Back to the Future!...wait, where was I? Oh, yes. Jack can bite me. That's where I was.

Your move, Alli.

You say 77, I say 85--eh!

OK, so, Mick was telling me yesterday that Jason Earles, who plays Jackson on Hannah Montana, is actually 31 years old despite the fact that he plays, like, a 17 year old. Sure, I mean, it's been done, on My So-Called Life Claire Danes was the only one who was actually teenaged. But this dude does not look 31, am I right? (See picture I have posted here to help you out with this.)

Anyway I was looking him up on IMDB who lists his birthdate as April 26, 1977. Then I was looking at Wikipedia--and apparently, according to his resume, Jason was born in...1985.

So, if I list false information on my resume, will Disney hire me? Cause I got a fake resume that says I'm a card-carrying supermodel. AND people say I look young for my age!

Peace out, Audrina

Well, apparently Audrina scored herself a deal for her own show after she leaves The Hills this season. From what I can tell it won't necessarily be on MTV. In the same article it said then when asked if most of the girls leaving the show (apparently Lo is dunzo as well) means an end, an MTV spokesperson responded, "We cannot confirm a sixth season at this time. However, 'The Hills' will continue as long as there are stories to tell, and as of now we don't see an end in sight." Well, I can confirm something, wishy-washy: I want nothing to do with it! Or Audrina's spin-off!

I just wanted to clarify that. As I know everyone was waiting with breaths held to see if Batgirl would be endorsing such things. Now, if Justin Bobby gets a show...Then we'll talk. Hmm, talk, show...I've got it! A Lo and Justin Bobby co-hosted talk show!

Passive-Aggressive Notes Rule

I'm not sure why I've never blogged about this, but besides youtube being my go to boredom fixer I also check out Passive-Aggresive Notes.com every once in awhile and you should too. It's filled with pics and links to the most hilarious notes. I myself have left quite a few of these notes at my previous job and was even requested to craft some for my old apartment (when boys would use our laundry and not respect the boundaries). Read on and thank me later.

A celebrity's death is such a strange thing, because even though I didn't know them at all, I always feel a little sad for the loss (heck Heath Ledger's death still makes me sad). So yesterday night I was scanning through the channels and I saw on CNN that Natasha Richardson had been in a bad skiing accident, but I didn't watch long as they didn't make it seem like a big deal. Well, clearly I was wrong, because the E News scroll just informed me that she died this morning.I feel horrible for Liam Neeson and their sons. You can read the Washington Post article here.

REALLY?? (the lunchbreak edition)

We are supposed to feel very sorry for Nadya Suleman that the hospital won't give her her babies. She laments about getting life back to normal ON HER VIDEO BLOG. Who would go onto their VIDEO BLOG to talk about we should all just leave her alone and let her get back to normal. She should leave us alone and let us forget about her.

Further, she understands that the hospital is "doing its best" for her babies, but she wants to remind us all that she "never asked for all of this." REALLY?

I would like to remind her that she did ask for this, several times.
-She had tons of baby seedlings planted in her
-Got lip injections after said baby seedlings were born
-Made the rounds to EVERY single news outlet/talk show/VIDEO BLOG she could, having her parents hit up the ones she missed (really, Oprah? Come on- where was Lisa Ling that day?)
-Has pictures continually taken of her in the hospital holding her babies- that can't be paparazzi cuz the hospital wouldn't let them in, so I am pretty sure she brings photographers. (sidebar- she is never ever ever looking at her babies in all those pictuers- she is either posing for the camera or looking off into the distance. What a loving, doting mother)
-And in the last note of her asking for "all of this" and more- she made a website asking for it! REALLY???

PS- Did I mention she has a VIDEO BLOG????

Got a ring on it!

Christina Ricci just got engaged to actor Owen Benjamin. One might ask oneself, who is this Owen Benjamin? I know I did. I read that he's best known as Marvin in The House Bunny. Alli and I saw that and I could not for the life of me recall a Marvin, so I investigated further, of course. Marvin is her buddy at The Playboy Mansion. The one who gives her the note saying she's dunzo. The one who tells her she's 59 in Bunny Years. And according to IMDB he plays Owen in some TV show called Gaytown on something called C-SPOT.

Frankly I had forgotten that she and Adam Goldberg aren't together anymore. I saw them in a Chinese restaurant in L.A. once. But that was awhile ago I suppose. Chinese food is a fickle medium.

Oh, and also, she's tiny and he's apparently massive.

Prison Break

Oh Jeez!

Just

You know, I never did like that Doug from The Hills. Did you hear that he's not dating Paris Hilton? I repeat, they're just not dating. They're just friends. Just friends who just got back from vacationing in Maui together: "Just got back from an amazing trip in Maui with my sexy boy."

Just threw up in my mouth a little.

Smells like Radiohead

So, apparently there's a "feud" between...Miley Cyrus and Radiohead. This apparently started at The Grammys when Miley found out the band's dressing room was right near hers, got super stoked, texted all her friends, and had her manager request a meeting with them since she apparently loves them. (Does anyone else find it odd that Miley Cyrus loves Radiohead?) When said request was politely turned down (they don't really do that sort of thing was said answer), Miley was apparently not pleased. In fact, she was so not pleased she did not watch their performance. AND to really drive the point home, she apparently went on a radio station to share this amusing little anecdote and capped it off with the following statement: "Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm gonna ruin them. I'm going to tell everyone."

So, please, Radiohead fans of the world, listen up: Disney's Hannah Montana would like you to know that your favorite band stinks for not meeting her at the Grammy's. Feel free to get a bulldozer and run over your Radiohead CD collection in a show of solidarity.

Frankly you should probably feel a bit shamed that you and Miley Cyrus have the same taste in music.

And as for you, Miley--don't think you're alone in the world. Apparently Kanye didn't get to meet them, either.

Tyramail! or, yawn.

Well, Tyra has spoken regarding the chaos that broke out at NYC Top Model auditions. And what does she have to say? "To all the 'Top Model' hopefuls who were affected by the New York casting, we are doing everything we can to make sure that ALL the girls who weren't seen, get an opportunity to audition -- we'll update you on our plans very soon." And then blah blah blah, some more boring stuff. Ah, hello! Tyra! We don't care about the short little models, we care about what happened to cause chaos to break out! I mean, did a Tallie step on a Shortie's foot? Did someone insult a Jay? Did Nigel barker's hormones finally rage out of control? Is Janice Dickinson trying to get back in? Can we make it into a photo shoot this season?

I blame Salesha.

The City is alive with the sound of the Hills

"Hey! I didn't know John Stamos was on this show!" Mick after spotting Adam in the credits.
"Hey! I always wondered if The City ever called The Hills! And now it's right in front of me!" Mick, again, natch.

So AFTER I broke my toe (I'm not a doctor or anything, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to yell in pain when you walk on it) I hopped/crawled into the living room to hit the couch for some City action. Tonight, we learned that:

1.Diane Von Fursterbug is not only a good designer, she gives good relationship advice.
2. Lauren is a way better co-worker then Olivia could ever hope to be.
3. Once again, Olivia makes the mistake of asking someone what's going on, then chiding them for bringing their personal life into the workplace.
4. London can HAVE Olivia. Keep the bloody bitch!
5. London can have Jay too. Or Australia. New Zealand, is that where he's from? Seriously, "Maybe we should give it a try" is not a good response to someone telling you they're dunzo.
6. Adam has terrible delivery and Allie is an idiot for falling for it. Is she so vapid that she doesn't notice he says everything in the exact same tone of voice? I love you more. I promise it will never happen again. I really like toast with extra butter. This weather is crazy. All in the same tone of voice! They should've gotten John Stamos. Dude has range!

America's Next Top Riot

Apparently shiz went down at Top Model auditions in New York. I'm sorry I missed that! No word yet on whether either Jay was harmed...

B****, You'd better step off

I clicked a link to a beauty blog today called Deep Glamour and she totally dogged the Glamour Magazine spread of Female Icons redone with up and coming starlets. She called out Alexis Bledel saying she looked " peevish as she displays her lack of upper body strength". You can read the jerks article here. I wouldn't though. Rory the Riveter rules!

If you seek George (which I do)

ER ending, finally, blah blah blah. Who still watches that show? Anyway we were watching the shows BEFORE it last night because they are actually GOOD and there were of course previews for that night's ER talking about how ALL the doctors would be back and named 3 of them. None of them were George Clooney, but they somehow made a point of saying ALL of the doctors would be back. So of course Mick kept saying ooo will George Clooney be there? like every f'in time and it drove me crazy. He just informed me today, finally, that yes, George was on last night. So we can all get on with our lives.

I bet Obama knew he was going to be on.

Heartbreaker

Apparently Hayden Panettiere is so beside herself about her recent break-up with Milo that she's trying to get him kicked off of Heroes. What is it with Mr. Ventimiglia that he breaks all his co-ladies hearts? Oh, wait, NOW I remember...he's gorgeous.

If You Seek Christian

My friend Erik sent me a link to Britney's new video for If You Seek Amy. I really want to love the song, but I just can't get into it. I can however get into her totally gorgeous Philip Lim for Christian Louboutin shoes she's wearing in it. Behold the beauty:



If you want to see the (strange) video check it out here.

Just in time for Lent!

This is Mick's current favorite commercial. At least he must like it quite a bit cause he goes around singing it.

I'm craving you like Candy

Manyd Moore married her boyfriend (odd ball) Ryan Adams of slightly a year. I know I'm not the only person who thinks this is a weird match-up.

Raisin Face

Here's only another reason that you should give up the tanning beds.

I need an other other white meat

The most horrifying commerical award goes to a cell phone commercial that portrays two pigs eating pork or "enjoying the flavors of a fallen friend" and somehow that corresponded to the craziness of cell phone companies having hidden fees. Seriously, it's gross. So gross in fact that I can't even remember which company it's for.

Ups and downs in The City

Did anybody else smile happily when Olivia was portrayed like a total idiot on last night's City? Of course that smile was brief since Jay then acted like a total d-bag. I wanted Whitney to dump him so bad. But, no, of course Jay got the honors. Oh well. At least Olivia got hers.

Let's leave Pete out of it, please

Apparently the CW isn't just sticking to a new 90210 and is planning to reboot Melrose Place. I wonder if it will have the same shelf-life--start off nice and fairly normal for a night soap opera, and eventually spiral into madness and mistaken identity? Whatever the course it will run, apparently Ashlee Simpson will be along for the ride. She should definitely try for the Sydney or Kimberly type character. Those are the catfighters who go down in history!

Let's go Party

I just read this article about a lawmaker in West Virginia wants to ban the sales of Barbie because she "influence(s) girls to place too much importance on physical beauty, at the expense of their intellectual and emotional development".

Maybe if we do that we should ban television, magazines, and music. I can't speak for everyone, but when I was little I thought 'I wanna be like Barbie cause she's cool', I never thought 'I wanna be like Barbie because she has huge jugs and a tiny waist.' I think skinny starlets have a much higher impact. Plus, Barbie just turned 50and If I look like that at 50, I'm gonna flaunt my bod too.

...denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive

I totally wanna see Star Trek movie. It looks really good which is saying a lot as I hate Star Trek.



p.s. Whenever I see Sylar as Spock, I still think he's going to murder everyone with his brain power.

You should read Vanity Fair

I was scrolling through the Vanity Fair website to check how much a subscription would be for my mom and I saw this:



It cracked me up and I just wante to share. The cover is good too.

Oh Kardashians! How I have missed you...

I am sure everyone is relieved that the sisters Kardashian are back on TV. I know I am. Thanks Ryan Seacrest.  What would I watch if you weren't here?

The season opener starts with Khloe (my fave Kardash) going to jail.  I love how nonchalant she is about it all- Kris (the mom) freaks out and laments on the affect this jail trip has on her apparently forgetting she isn't the one going to jail.  The girls all got up early and Khloe's best friend curled her hair- she is going in for 30 days so I don't think it will hold up, but that's OK.  All the K ladies get dressed up and get in the SUV to take Khloe to jail- in the car on the way Kim is taking pictures of herself.  Kris asks Khloe if she wants to go to IHOP if they get to jail too early.  Classic.  As we recall,  she only served a few hours.  The fam picks her up again and immediately go out- to drink.  They were just going out for lunch but Kris orders shots for the whole table.  But don't worry- Khloe didn't drink.  But the others got toasted.  

Here we go again...

The rest is written

Oh, L.C. We knew it couldn't last, but still...

Apparently this upcoming season of The Hills will be Lauren's last. I'm going to miss her.

And I will go on record now as saying I will not watch if they continue after she leaves, because we all know that it will turn into the Audrina/JB and Speidi Show...Oh, wait. It already did.

Lauren! Take me with you!!

That's a relief!

So, Kari sent me a text yesterday saying that the name of M.I.A.'s baby had come out, and it's...Ickitt. We both agreed this was not exactly the greatest of name choices. Thankfully Momma M.I.A. agrees as well and said as much on her myspace: "My baby is not called Ickitt, Pickit or Lickit thank you very much to all the Hollywood press. He's a baby, he don't need press! I didn't release the baby name because I didn't think it was news!!!! But I will be back with something newsworthy soon, till then go pick on Apple, Satchel and Moon Unit. Lots of love stickit!!"Reason #501 I heart her.

Although, P.S., it may not be newsworthy but we're still curious.
And P.P.S. top honors still go to Pilot Inspektor and Audio Science.

Something fishy

I do not appreciate the Wendy's commercial where they talk about where their fish is from, mainly because they basically imply as you're taking each bite you're pondering it. Granted I haven't eaten meat in awhile but I do recall that such things did NOT cross my mind when I did eat it. I mean, if I was eating a chicken strip or something with each bite I wasn't thinking, gee, I wonder where this came from! Bite. I hope it came from a really great place with great scenery! Bite.

Mario Lopez wears more makeup than I do

I don't regularly watch America's Best Dance Crew but I saw this clip and thought it was pretty awesome. Quest Crew won if that means anythin to you. The real reason I'm posting their winning dance routine is because at the 50 second mark homeboy busts out a ridiculous move. Watch it:

Have Mary Kate and Ashley seen this?

Part of the joy of living with someone is sharing your computer; part of that joy is occasionally something new pops up in the bookmarks. Today while scrolling through I discovered that Mick discovered WWUJD? and clicked on it. And I must admit, I laughed my ass off at the fact page.

Rory can do it!

Let's see, how much does this picture rule? The answer is, quite a bit, my friends. It's from this story online, apparently it's a project Glamour mag did. I don't know if it will be in an actual issue but that would be cool. I had to look closer at my LiLo as Madonna.

Post-Lost Post

...Meanwhile, at the end of this week's Lost and the preview for the upcoming show, the following happens...
Announcer: Two weeks from tonite on "Lost"...
Alison: 2 weeks from tonite! What the hell!
Alli: Two weeks what!
Alison: I thought they were supposed to be every week!
Alli: There must be something else like a presidential thing.
Alison: Then I take back my vote!

Whitney! Get it together!

From the previews of The City next week it would appear that Jay and Whitney will be dunzo and Jay will be the one to end it. C'mon, girl! YOU dump HIS skinny, lying aussie ass! And while you're at it, punch Olivia in her smug little face! Lyin' her little social ass off about pulling the Elle cover look! Sheesh!

Sappy McSapperson

Mick watched the season 4 finale of Lost last night but it was hella late so he watched it again tonite and damned if I didn't get all teary two nights in a row when Penny and Des get back together. I'll tell you this much for free, if Ben gets his grubby hands on Penny I'm going to slit any part of my body until I can slit no more (don't even get me started on CERTAIN PEOPLE I live with ACTUALLY LIKE Ben, it is the new argument we have EVERY DAY) (now he's acting all put out that I'm airing our business). They're definitely one of my fave fictional couples ever, as are Rose and Bernard (that Rose is so sassy!) Sometimes I forget that it's just a show, today at work it occured to me that by going back to the island Kate is violating her probation and I wondered if she had really throught through the consequences of her actions...Then I felt a little goofy.

Still, that's not going to look so great on her already highly blemished record.

Brazzlefrat. Bendelschnitz.

Last week I was really sick, so besides feeling sorry for myself all I did was watch Gilmore Girls. I'm convinced my Gilmore high was part of the reason that after three days of bingeing, I felt almost completely better. I decided to copy Alison and comprise a list of (some of) my favorite moments (in no particular order):

-Rory calls Logan a "Jerk! Ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, lowlife, butt-faced miscreant"

-Jess and Rory hold hands before their first kiss

-Rory sings 'Candy Man' after she loses her V to stupid Dean

-Lane agrees to marry Zach and (I think) Babette says, "kiss him sugar" and Kirk excitedly yells, "Yea, kiss him sugar!"

-Lorelai convinces Rory to put sugar on her toes to make Paul Anka like her

-At the winter carnival right before she makes a ridiculous throw to knock over some bottles, Rory says to Jess, "I'm a girl, we're supposed to throw like this." (I'd be offended if it weren't so hilarious)

-Paris gets drunk and makes this odd raspberry noise to people who won't give her some change

-Rory gets frustrated when she tries to end her open relationship with Logan and says, "I need a taco."

-On Rory's first night at Yale, she and Lorelai howl at some boys. (The end of that scene kills me)

-After Rory does the deed with stupid Dean again, Lane says the "Miss Patty would be so proud" to know that Rory did it at her studio

-For some reason Richard and Emily open up their house for people to look at like a museum and a lady sees the family having dinner and says "Oh, look they even hired actors" and Richard indignantly says, "We are not actors!" (It doesn't sound funny but the way he says it crack me up)

-Lastly, and most importantly, my favorite scene is when Jess goes into the bookstore that my good friend Alison took me to in Venic Beach

There are many other where that came from, cause frankly I could probably come up with a few from every episode, but I'll leave those for other sick days.

Stunningly Pink...

This is one of the strangest things I've ever seen. So frickin' cool.