Oy with the pigs already!

America:

1. I'm over the swine flu freak out and would like to only hear about it in newsworthy articles

2. Why are people still taking Speidi's pictures...on a beach...candidly posed...

The triumpant return of Sleazy T

I admit I've been a little Hillscentric in the posts lately (rest assured I still worry about Lindsay, who is looking horrendously thin), but I can't let the last episode go by with nary a comment. I spend a lot of time wishing the swine flu on good old Spence, but I have to admit--he was the clear star of this week's outing. Even Mick was able to pay attention for a whole episode. I spent a good amount of time, when not laughing my ass off, debating if he was actually completely baffled to the concept of virginity ("Can you have sex in heaven?" was right up there with "So, if there's an earthquake tonight, you'll both die virgins?" and of course his theory that the Bible is actually encouraging us all to go at it in the bedroom, just as long as we get down on clean sheets) or if he was just mocking them the entire time. Maybe it was a combo of the two, although his final exchange of the episode with Heidi would lead one to believe it was the latter. Either way, very well played, sir.

Bonus points to the film editors of the show for treating us to the inspired moment when Colby's lady friend marveled for a good minute or so how completely different Heidi looks from her old pictures! while Heidi attempted to form an expression on her surgery-frozen face. Sadly, all that she could come up with facial experession-wise was to say "Who wants a drink?" Um, not the Bible thumpers, Permapout!

In conclusion, who else yelled "SLEAZY T!" and raised their hands in the air when he made his second appearance? Forget Kristin taking over--this guy is clearly ready to be a breakout star. Give me some more Sleazy T, Lo, Brent Bolthouse, and Kelly Cutrone and I'm ready to roll.

Oh yeah, and Audrina and Brody are equal parts predictable, stupid, boring, and skanky.

So many H names, so little clothes!

Today, I learned the following important Playboy info from my beloved Wonderwall: Hef wants the love of his life Holly to come home, and possibly coming to an issue near you--none other than...Mrs. Spencer Pratt.

Holly, you can fix this, right? Tell your good old Puffin that you'll consider coming back if he puts the kibosh on this operation? Maybe you can Heidi's ma can team up? We've seen quite enough of Heidi's plastic surgery on her face--no one needs to see what else has been tampered with.

I am one complicated woman!

Just in case the internet wasn't already enough of a time waster, my beloved found this site that includes enough quizzes to completely shoot your week down. Why, I've already learned that I'm Tyler from The Real World (um...ok), Heather from Top Model, Santino from Project Runway, and Mick and I are both Charlie on Lost. And it pains me greatly to admit I'm Audrina, especially since I answered her for the question who's your least favorite or who's the worst person in the world on the show or something like that. That's what I get for being a brief floozy in the past, I suppose...

Oh well. At least I'm like someone who does the Tim Gunn Red Lobster impression!

Let's do the time warp again

MSN TV created this list of their 100 fav Lost moments in honor of the 100th episode this week. It's a pretty good list, though there are a couple I couldn't quite remember. And they left off a few, such as the recent episode where Hurley rewrites The Empire Strikes Back and compares Miles refusing to get to know his douche bag dad to Luke and Vader. And when Rose informs Jack if he says live together, die alone again she's going to kill him. And when we finally find out that Des and Penny named the baby Charlie. And when Sawyer doesn't want Hurley to go with Locke to find The Cabin and tells Locke if he harms one curly hair on his head he'll kill him (I like it when people threaten people apparently). And of course, when they're back on the plane that they know is going to crash yet again and Jack asks Ben how he be reading and Ben calmly replies, "My mother taught me how." Oh, Ben! You are a goofy one sometimes! Oh, and then when Sun informs her dad she bought out control of his company, and when we finally see Jin is alive only to be in a time warp with young Russo, and when Sayid is back off the island and has Pantene perfect hair and goes from being an assassin for Ben to working for Habitat for Humanity...OK, OK. I'm done.

My invite must have gotten lost in the mail

I think I'm slowly getting Mick into The Hills; at any rate, he found this on IMDB and told me about it. Two things stuck out to me after reading it:
1. Um, dude, her fam does not like you cause you're a d-bag--I think they earned the right to get a little wild and crazy at your wedding. Speaking of which,
2. Weddings and alcohol were MADE for each other! Hell, once you've gone to enough weddings the booze is the only thing that helps you sit through another one! (Bonus points if the two land you a nice boy to find you things on the internet.)


As for other interesting Speidi wedding info, I heard on the radio on the way to work, and this was from E! TV reporting on the Ryan Seacrest show so very viable, that none other than old Laguna Beacher Kristin showed up, of course sparking the rumors that once LC is dunzo she'll take over the show, gag. And she also apparently almost took out Steph Pratt trying to catch the bouquet. Don't worry, Kristin got it! And hopefully Steph's new lips survived the incident...

This doesn't happen to me...

Watch around 19 seconds in the crotchel area.

HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!!!!!!

Friday, April 24, 2009- The day that (Kate hears that) Spencer admits HE STARTED THE SEX TAPE RUMORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You heard it here first!

Am I the first one to post about the Hills?  How in the h did that happen?  HA! ME! IN YOUR FACES!!!!!

I go quickly between thinking that Steph Pratt knows what is going on to be shocked that she can figure out how to breathe and walk at the same time. Oy. You are taking me on a nauseating ride, Steph.

Did anyone else notice that LC was sporting a bit of a stache during the confrontation scene? That couldn't have happened, right? MTV wouldn't let her go on TV like that.  But they may be still perfecting their makeup techniques with the whole HD TV thing. 

It angers me that we are forced to go through these ups and downs with Spencer and Heidi, getting fleeting glimpses of how Heidi used to be and almost believing that maybe she will remove the tumor that is Spencer.  But alas, their fame whorism makes it clear to us that theirs is somehow a love that will last through the season breaks. Damn. 

But really- a therapist would NEVER tell you that "this all seems high schoolish".  OK "Dr. Jordana" thanks for the revelation that Speidi exists in tenth grade. I hope it was worth the copay. 

Hey- Batgirl! Eye Shadow! Let's go to Hawaii next week! Good thing we have copious amounts of MTV cash and no real jobs to speak of. 

Testing technologies...

MY PLAN! IT'S WORKING!

So, guess who's going to be on Ellen this Thursday?
That's right, people! Lindsay Lohan!
According to Ellen's show site: "LINDSAY LOHAN: I’m really looking forward to this interview. She had a very public breakup with Samantha Ronson and appeared on the cover of US Magazine with the headline, “I Am So Alone.” I want to make sure that Lindsay’s okay, and to let her know that she’s got a lot of support." Thumbs up to Ellen! (Oh, Prince is also going to be on.)

FURTHERMORE Lindsay has apparently shown interest in joining up with Mel B. in "Peepshow", a new Vegas show thing. Now I'm always one to be vocal about my complete disgust with Las Vegas, but a former Spice Girl and LiLo in something hopefully like my beloved Showgirls? Sign me up!
Ellen and Portia can come too!

OK, so, appear on Ellen, check. Break up with Samantha Ronson, check. New project, hopeful check. You know what? My work here is almost done. It's a 3 point plan, people!

LC for me!

I'm going to give Kate credit for this one cause she texted me about it earlier and our good friend the internet confirmed it: Lauren's getting her own clothing line at Kohl's! That means we can afford it! Hooray!

This breaks my heart a little

The father of Rubina Ali, the little girl in Slumdog Millionaire, is apparently trying to sell his daughter. He was trying before the movie, asking a price of $75,000, and upped the price after to $300,000 since she's an "Oscar child". After all this came out the producers from the movie hired social workers to look after her and her family as well as the other kids from the movie and a trust has been established.

Creeeeepy

A 50-year-old woman actually spent more than $15,000 on plastic surgery, platinum hair extensions, and a trendy new wardrobe in order to look exactly like her daughter.
I can't decide which is creepier: their hair or the fact that the daughter said, "People ask if I mind that she's transformed herself into me, but I couldn't be more proud. I'm the one who helps her with her hair and clothes, so it's down to me, too. I can hardly accuse Mum of copying my looks when she gave them to me, can I?"

...and then, there was one.

And her name was Dawn.

Sigh.

Well I'm pretty sure she has the best voice of them anyway, so...what can you do! Besides stay tuned for the live finale. Diddy LOVES those...

At least no one's celebratin' Hitler, at least no one I know

I would just like to say that the date April 20 is a superlame excuse for pot heads everywhere to celebrate their potheadedness. Much cooler and more worthy of celebration is that once upon a time this date first brought us The Eyeshadow. Birthdays before pot!

Ooooh Girrrrlll!

Kim K. posted this pic on her blog with a message pleading for quick fixes to ease the pain and hideousness of her sunburn after falling asleep on vacay. My fix would be a delorean and sunblock.

Traveling denim cutoffs

Tonight, Alli informed me that she heard Amber Tamblyn and David Cross are dating. I could not quite wrap my mind around this one, though I love them both; naturally I hit my good friend the internet...

...True!

Good times, good times

In the midst of watching SNL's Best of Amy Poehler I would just like to say,

I am jealous of the person who got to watch all her Weekend Updates to pick the clips for the clip montage.

Pretty in pink

This dress is pretty cute (belt not included, I mean the belt is ok but it's not included with the dress) but dilemma, dilemma, it's I Heart Ronson for JC Penny. I'm pretty sure I have to boycott the Ronson fam now out of respect for La Lohan. Kate pointed out that I do have a Mark Ronson CD; she then pointed out that she burned it from me which counts as stickin' it to 'em.

Eh, it probably wouldn't fit me anyway. And it's $60. Though it has to go on sale eventually...That would sort of be stickin' it to them still, right? Not getting their full money's worth?

Batty

OK, I'm easily influenced by media and images (like the stupid Papa Johns commercial for the XL Xtreme Cheese Pizza I just saw, but pizza influences me anyway) and I was reading a review of the new CD by Bat For Lashes. I have no idea what this lady sounds like but now I feel like I should cause a) the review made it sound pretty good, b) I like bats, and c) how can you go wrong with this album cover? It's like she has outer space tattooed on her! (She doesn't really, of course I checked.)

Twittering Twit

Speaking of Twitter, Ashton Kutcher and CNN had a Twitter-off to get followers with the winner donating 10,000 mosquito bed nets and the loser donating 1,000 for No More World Malaria Day, which Ashton of course won because, you know, he's cooler than CNN. But either way it was all good because they were doing something worthwhile.

So, of course, not to be outdone, our old buddy Spencer Pratt has decided to in turn challenge Ashton: "From the moment Ashton accepts my challenge, assuming he's man enough to do so, whoever adds the most new followers in 30 days wins." If Ashton wins? Well, then, Spencer and Heidi will...clean he and Demi's whole house! And if SPENCER wins (which, let's see, he wouldn't, at the time of his challenge Ashton had over a million Twitter followers and Spence had almost 200,000, though he "believes in his Twitter family"), Ashton and Demi have to clean Spencer's whole, um, car. Just in time for, what, Clean Your Whole House/Car World Day? What a humanitarian!

Speaking of which, I challenge Spencer. If I can make more posts about you on our blog then you can make about me over the next 30 hours, then the winner is you're a huge douche bag! Everybody wins!

OMGoodness!

I was reading my twitter accounts that I follow and lo and behold what do I see. Perez Hilton blogged about Sanjaya (of american idol and hideous hair fame) making an appearance at the Fargo Circus! He even links to the Forum article from today's paper.

P.s. I hate the circus and you should too. One look at those haggard tigers and sad elephants with kids on their backs is just too much for me. Free the animals! Make the clowns the bitches!

Post #400: It speaks for itself.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Idiot quotes aplenty today!

"Yes. Definitely running. Don’t know if I’ll be getting elected any time in the next century or so. But definitely going after mayor of LA and at least governor, but I’ll prob stop at governor. I mean if people were really pushing for me [to run for president] at that point, I’ll probably have to step into that role. That pressure may be a little much. I’ll start with California." Spencer, who at least recognizes it may take him several centuries and buy several I mean Shoot Me Now.

Worst family reunion ever

Well, according to Audrina, people will still watch The Hills when Lauren leaves because "we're like family to our audience." If that doesn't hit the nail on the head! That's totally why I watch! Cause Heidi is like the sister I never had who gets lip implants and can't fully smile correctly now! Yeah, and Spencer is like the douche bag uncle I want to punch in the face! And, um, Audrina is like my skanky cousin, and, ah, Justin is my half-brother who no ones wants to admit we're related too. And then, let's see, Brody and Frankie are like the wacky neighbors next door that keep popping in...who am I missing? Oh, Stephanie, let's see, she's like the half-sister no one wants to admit we're--damnit, I already did that one!

No, Audrina, the truth is, many of us watch The Hills cause Lauren is like our cool imaginary BFF. And we like Lo. And the rest of you, well, you're just kinda fame whores!

Though I have to admit I'm all about the comic releif that is Steph Pratt. Her People's Revolution Interview and Ms. Cutrone's subsequent reaction are up there in my fav Hills scenes. And I also have to admit--I'm impressed she knows how to pronounce quesadilla. There are many ways to pronounce it incorrectly. I would know, I'm a waitress.

Maybe not the best thing to say.

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat." Hulk Hogan, making a brilliant statement about his wife leaving him for a younger man.

Oh, Cassie!

Um...OK. And by that I mean, no.

FIRST PUPPY!

From Wonderwall who apparently got it from US:

"The Obamas are finally welcoming their puppy this Tuesday! The black Portuguese water dog comes from a kennel in Texas. It was sold to a family who gave it back, so will be "re-homed" to the first family, TMZ.com reports. The six-month-old dog is named Charlie, but the Obamas will rename it. The dog will be presented to the family by Senator Ted Kennedy, who has purchased his own pups from the same kennel. Sasha and Malia's new pet is from the same lineage as the Kennedy dogs, the Web site reports. The first pet's arrival has been a hot topic since the president promised his girls a puppy the night he was elected. After taking office, Obama said they'd get a pooch in the spring because the warmer weather would make his daughters more apt to walk it."

Of course that pic isn't the exact dog, I was just curious as to what such a pooch would look like. No doubt there will be a run on them soon!

This is why we work as a couple!

So, Mick started asking me if I'd heard about this real life pirate thing going on and I said well, I saw something about it. Then he proceeded to explain the whole thing to me, and told me he really couldn't believe I hadn't heard the whole thing yet. I thought it about for a second and said well, I did see it on-line but I also saw something about Britney and Kevin Federline getting back together and read that instead.

No Diddy didn't!...and, that's the problem!

I sat through Making the Band 4 today, led to believe by shady previews that there would be answers given about the fate of DK. And were there? Ohhh nooo! I sat through those goofy Day 26 boys' drama only to be left with a DK cliffhanger. Well played, Diddy. Well played. Dude is devious. I mean I don't know him or anything but even I felt a chill when I heard about the text where he was coming for a band meeting. I have to say I did enjoy the jab at Aubrey when he asked the boys if they wanted to end up posing for Playgirl.

Now I have to wait for the frickin 2 part season finale.
Can I just get the Cliffnotes?

Favorite thing of my day

Really? The Southpark edition.

My new fav place to get gossip is MSN's Wonderwall. It's where I learn things like LiLo dyed her hair back to red and got a new tattoo (though they did not tell me what!) and that K-Fed and Brit Brit are reportedly hooking up on her tour even though he's apparently dating a really tall volleyball player. I also found out two fairly odd things about Southpark:

1. Kanye saw the recent episode where they made fun of him and thought it was funny, but it hurt his feelings, but he knows he needs to take his ego down a notch: "I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE." (It's in caps from his blog, I'm too lazy to type it in uncaps.)

2. Trey Parker and Matt Stone were just given a signed photo of Saddam Hussein by the US Marines, who told them they made Hussein watch the South Park movie over and over again. Really? I mean, I'm not saying I was a fan of the dude, but that just seems...odd. Parker and Stone are "very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means." Um, what exactly does it mean?

Not picked to live in my dvd player

I am so supposed to be looking for a job right now but I thought of something that would deter me from this even further (farther?) then I am already allowing myself to deter myself which is to say, this: I began to wonder if shows that have already sucked hours from my life are readily available on DVD to suck even more hours. Specifically, ANTM and The Real World. So I consulted my good friends Amazon and Netflix and found that so far, only Cycle 1 of ANTM is out. I've seen that one a ridiculous amount of times. Actually I've seen several of them a ridiculous amount of times and thanks to cable can continue to do so. So then I started checking out The Real World and while there are infinite numers of supplementary materials (best fights! best vacations! best hookups! footage you never saw from every season!), there are so far only 2 complete seasons: the first in New York, which makes sense; and...Las Vegas. When the hell was that? Season 9 or something, right? It was skanky! Why would they do that? There are so many better seasons! So many earlier seasons! I felt like I should shower in holy water anytime I watched the Las Vegas cast! Thumbs down, MTV DVD department. Just putting that in our DVD player would probably give it veneral disease!

A blog to aspire to?

This is from a few episodes back but still makes me giggle.

I'm gonna have to call you back!

Is anybody else a bit mystified as to why Beyonce did this Obsessed movie? I mean I suppose it could be kind of a fun role, and I totally movie snob out sometimes so clearly I would pass judgment on it. Oh well! I'm supposed to be washing the dishes!

I challenge you ladies to a duel!

OK- I took this quiz and got 14 out of 15.  What'd you get???

Really?!?!?!

I turned on my tv today after I got home from work and it was on VH1 so I left it on and went about my business until I got bitch slapped by not one but two ridiculous previews for new shows.

Exhibit A: New York goes to work. Why are we still allowing this trashy woman into our homes? Kudos to her for getting paid to do nothing but be ridiculous though.



Exhibit B: Daisy of Love. Yet another trashy woman to set a horrible example for us ladies. A spin-off of Rock of Love was inevitable, but what is a daisy of love? Usually the titles make a little sense or are a play on words. Am I missing something?

Prince ain't the only one

Gwyneth Paltrow is tall and she does wear crazy heels so I guess Robert Downey needs some lifts on the set of Iron Man 2 to keep up with his giant co-stars.

When will flat butts be in?!

Now, normally I do not condone The King of Burger King, but I suppose every once in awhile exceptions can be made. Like just this once.

America's Next Top Treadmiller

You know, maybe it's all that Top Model influencing my life, but I couldn't help but notice in the huge mirrors so thoughtfully placed in the gym that face you working out that when I'm walking on the treadmill I get a bit, well, hippy when I'm walking with my gut sucked in to get maximum work-outness. It's almost as if I'm on a moving runway, placing one foot directly in front of the other! It's almost as if I'm sashaying my way to the modelesque body buried somewhere beneath the layers of pizza-induced fat!

You know, I talk a big game about a paired-down wedding but however it plays out, I think I'm going to need a really long aisle way to strut my stuff. (Note to self: will need to practice runway walk with Dad.)

ASSMAN, meet TOFU!

We were listening to the Current today and heard a story about a woman who apparently hearts tofu soooo much that she decided to get a license plate that says ILVTOFU.

Well, she tried to anyway. The Colorado license plate people politely suggested that may not be the way 2GO.

Nothing to do with anything

OK, 2 things:
1. It used to be that I would go to bed and the boy would be the one staying up late, but now HE has a normal-houred job whereas I chose to go get a drink after closing and now am the one up while he is asleep; so anyway while I was on the computer just now with the tv not even on, all of a sudden our cable box which normally has the time on it suddenly read 8.8.88, then just went blank. Does this happen every night? I got a little freaked out and turned it on, and it worked, and then turned it off and the time came back on. Is my cable box trying to tell me something? Do I need to get a psychic kid up in here?
2. Everytime I read something on-line about Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt imaginary bile rises in my throat.

Bedtime!

Enouph is Enough

So as I was watching the Biggest Loser tonight I decided to hit the missed connections on Craigslist and did I find a gem. It's this guy who's "not lonely" but thinks of you always but "hates your drama" and he feels sorry for you and his friends "because he makes people laugh". Seriously, go read it. He'll even let you pick your drugs while having an "intelectual" conversation. Priceless.

No, YOU pour some sugar on you!

So I was totally psyched to watch The Hills on TV now that we have DVR and I always work on stupid Monday nights. First off. Is it just me or does Stephanie look like she's getting younger? Is she having work done now? I'm thinking maybe it's her lips. Maybe she and Heidi have the same implanter. And what was with Heidi's gigantic snake print bag? A toddler could fit in there!

I noticed there's a new opening sequence and sighed for the absence of Whitney. I think I assumed they would throw Lo or Stephanie in there to even it out. And then there were 3...

I'm hoping they illuminate us more as to what happened with Justin. Dude gave her a ring then started acting like a tool again? Shocker. Speaking of tools where did Spencer's friend Charlie come from? I mean besides from the sex industry, dude is rocking a total porn 'stache. It went well with Spencer's shiny shiny face. I think I saw the bartender's reflection in it. She's a bright one, too, making that awesome observation that Mexico is a different country. Wha? When did that happen? Here I was just assuming it was an off-shoot of Texas. Thanks, Stacey! And as for Spencer's fighting techniques...hitting people in the ear? Not cool, dawg.

In conclusion I totally started tearing up when Heidi and Lauren were crying...and the stupid DVR cut off during it! What happens?! What will happen this season? It's 12:30 now and the rerun is on again at 1...dare I stay up and wait for the end? Wait a second, I have Castle on DVR, I can kill time watching that! OK. So it all works out in the end! You're relieved, right? I know you were worried. Where's the food in this house?

Stings the eyes a little

Well, I don't like Billy Corgan, and I don't like Tila Tequila. So I guess it's only fair they attend an event together. I mean they're both creepy and they both need to disappear forever...OK, no. Seriously. Just....no. Even I can't justify this one!

Victory!

A ha! Lindsay and Samantha broke up! The 5 point plan is falling into place! (Note to self: still need to finish 5 point plan.)

What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?

I was watching 'Supersize Me' at work today and a kid in the background looked like Christopher Mintz-Plasse (aka McLovin') so I looked him up on IMDB to see if it could've been him. Alas, it was not but I did learn that, according to the trivia section, "Because he was only 17 at the time of filming Superbad (2007), his mother was required to be on set during the filming of his sex scene."

That end sex scene was awkward enough for me. I cannot imagine having my mom watching me create such awkwardness. I needed to share.

My bestie's toss offs

Ryan Gosling can do no wrong in my eyes. The site says it's "Dead Man's Bones performing 'Name In Stone' live in a cemetery with L.A. Inner Mass Choir and The Silverlake Conservatory of Music Children's Choir." This is a very interesting track.



DEAD MAN'S BONES - "NAME IN STONE" from biz3 publicity on Vimeo.

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Conan O'Brien is one of the funniest people ever. This is my favorite (followed closely by old time baseball) thing he did on his show. Watch it and then try to disagree with me.

Conan O'Brien interviews Martha Stewart - watch more funny videos

Weirdest short ever

An open letter to...Subway

Dear Subway,

Oh my f***ing god, we get it. WE GET IT! You have footlongs for $5! I got it the first bajillion times you said it in your endless commercials about your five dollar footlongs! We all know! Babies know! Dogs know! People who live in caves that have no access to the outside world who haven't even heard of Subway? Yeah! They know too! So, please, for the love of all that is good and decent and holy--SHUT UP ABOUT THE $5 FOOTLONGS.

Peace out,
alison.

Apparently I only blog about magazines OR "Make it work"

I just finished my preliminary scan of Marie Claire, and in the Beauty Snoop section (where they open celebs cosmetic cases and show us what they love) was a feature on Tim Gunn! The most interesting items were as follows:

Selsun Dandruff shampoo
Clinique Almost Powder Makeup (to "get rid of the glazed doughnut look")
Tide to go Mini
Mennen Speed Stick
Oral-B Satin Floss (only interesting because it's the same kind I use!)
StriVectin Phase 2 topical Antioxidant (because apparentl he's acne prone)

Why do I find this stuff so fascinating?

" I have a big lesbian crush on you"

On the cover of my just arrived Marie Claire is Rachel McAdams and I could not be happier. She is one of the celebrities that, for me, feels like she could be my best friend (she'd obviously toss off her ex boyfriends to me). I enjoy her and really enjoy her movies. So, while I was doing my preliminary scan through the mag, I was surprised that they didn't go with the normal celeb interview routine. Instead, they had her choose a book for the monthly Marie Claire book club and used that as the article.

Genius! I wish they did that more often because seriously how many recycled questions can you ask these people? How was the breakup? What is your take on fashion? Body issues? Why are you so cool even though you're a totally normal person? I'm not sure if the book is any good (though my bestie would obviously have great taste in books) or if I'll even read it, but I applaud Marie Claire for trying something new. We can always use more celebrations of books in this country and Oprah can't do it by herself.

US Weekly should pay me- the Hills edition

I know I've said it before, but usmagazine.com is really the place for gossip loving girls on the go.  Not that I am ever so busy that I just don't have time to read the frequent updaters (I miss Perez) but I waste so much time as it is that I find it refreshing when I go to the site to discover I have already read everything that has been posted.  

They usually get me with their headlines, and today was no different.  The one that caught my attention was "Heidi Montag on Lauren's Hills Departure- 'We Don't Need Her.'"  I thought here we go again, stirring up the dramz before the new season starts on MONDAY.  I click on it and it is actually a very nice (considering) article on how Heidi knows Lauren has wanted to leave for a while and they'll miss her, she's closing a chapter and "I'm sure she'll have fun and success."  She even draws attention to her and Spencer's penchant for attention when saying "She's gotta leave the dramas to the pros! I love The Hills and I definitely don't want to go anywhere anytime soon.  That's my home and I'm so grateful to be on it, so we'll see."  Awww.  That makes me wonder (just for a quick second) if the whole falling out was made up and they have been friends all along. Not likely.  

So I was feeling all warm and fuzzy and hopeful that the new season will start with a heartfelt reunion, but then I was brought back to reality by comments Fleshbeard made on a radio program trashing Lady Gaga.  He said if Lady Gaga was the pop princess then Heidi must be the pop queen.  Really? I will leave  you with his comments on his moneymaker- when asked to name five artists that Heidi is more talented than, he says "Madonna, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Beyonce an Christina Aguilera... I wouldn't even compare them to Heidi's level."  I'm with you Spencer, neither would I.  

This is the suit they buried my dad in...

Sean Gunn aka Kirk is in a new set of commercials for KGB. It's like a shout out from Star's Hollow during What Not to Wear!

Weird or Genius?

I was reading my daily beauty blogs today and one mentioned the 'GoGirl Feminine Urination Device'. Apparently we can now pee while standing. I think I can safely assume that we've all had to go so bad and had to relieve ourselves in a less than ideal environment, so it'd be awesome for travel. The only thing...you have to carry your used urination device around with you.

Give this woman a break!

I was checking out US mag's website and I saw that Jaime Oliver welcomed another baby. Normally I wouldn't click on this, but her name is Petal Blossom Rainbow and I had to check that out. The article was normal- born at this time, sister to Honey and Poppy, but the picture that went with it! It looks like Jools Oliver had the baby at 3 this morning and there is already a pic of Jools, Jaime and Petal Blossom smiling goofily outside the hospital. Can this woman not have a minute to herself after giving birth to another little flower baby? She clearly had her hair and makeup done before she went out too. And I don't know too much about havin babies and the like, but is it normal to still look this pregnant? My theory was they were having twins and Jaime made them run out quick with the first one before the second one came.

First the dolphin...

...now Julia. I love it. (She's got pink hair. Look closely.)

WHAT!!?!

What can't Rory do???? I thought she was probably still traveling with Obama but I tuned in to the NBC this evening and apparently she's a DOCTOR too! How come Emily and Richard haven't bragged about this? I feel like I am really out of the loop. 

Some say hate, I say love

I am reliving Kanye's Storytellers, showing Brett my favorite part of the hour: 

During "Touch the Sky" Kanye pontificates- "I am so disappointed that I can not see me perform except for on playback.  My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see me perform.  So you are welcome to know a pleasure that I will never have."

Now, some people would say that is why they don't like Kanye- his ego is out of control, he's played out and he has an entitlement issue.  But- this is the exact reason I LOVE Kanye- he knows the ego is ridiculous (but I happen to think he can back it up), he can make fun of himself (in retrospect anyway) and his talent is somehow enhanced by the ego. On which side of the fence do you fall?

I am just really sad that I will never get to read my posts, I can only write them.  You all are so lucky. Really.